How to deal with political arguments?

Inner Peace · Post by **Inner Peace** » Sat Sep 06, 2008 2:09 pm

It's the season of presidential politics again, and it seems like people at work or neighbors who never talk with me any other time, will come up to me and ask who I am voting for and why. I told one such person and they immediately started attacking my candidate. So then I felt like I had to respond, so I added my attacks, then the whole thing escalated. First of off, it solved nothing (neither of our minds were changed) but I just felt very anxious for the next several days. It was a combination of being angry, but also how can I prevent this from happening in the future. And even if I don't say who I'm voting for, they'll say I'm afraid of admitting it, and try to push it that way.
Don't get me wrong, I will tolerate debating with certain people, but so many times debates like these gets personal. Do others have these problems? How do you handle them?

DisneyGirl · Post by **DisneyGirl** » Sat Sep 06, 2008 2:30 pm

Even if I know who I am voting for, I don't feel like it is anybody else's business. Isn't that why we vote alone? I usually say something along the lines of "I haven't entirely made up my mind yet." And leave it and that. If they want to say something about "their" candidate so be it, I can't change that, but I offer no more, if they push, I simply repeat I am undecided, a little more firmly. Good luck to you.

pecos · Post by **pecos** » Sat Sep 06, 2008 2:53 pm

I don't do political debates with anyone. I believe what I believe, and will vote accordingly. If people ask me, my response is that I will know when I'm in the booth. Can't debate with that. Kind of like saying what you mean, meaning what you say, and that's the end of the story.

sunset34 · Post by **sunset34** » Sat Sep 06, 2008 5:22 pm

I personally think it's rude to ask. For me it's a personal issue. Would you go up to someone and say "how much money do you make a year?".... I just think it's wrong.

I would have said to them..."not sure yet but I will know the day I vote" and left it alone.

Some people can be so pushy about what they want. They need to be sure that you are persuaded and/or manipulated into feeling like you need to vote the way they do.

I have already made my decision. It's a decision that is a peaceful one for me and that's all that matters.

It would be great if most people could discuss the issues without prejudice but it's just not possible in most cases.

As with everything, choices bring consequences. So if a person chooses to discuss politics, then he/she is taking the risk of hearing something they don't like.

Choose your battles wisely. Some are worth fighting for and others are not.

bevhembree · Post by **bevhembree** » Sun Sep 07, 2008 2:41 pm

I personally enjoy politics and current events and am excited about the raised interest this year, BUT it's not a subject to bring up to others for me because it has the potential to explode and offend. I've been dying to ask some specific questions here just to see what people's opinions are. It would end up in a terrible argument. For some, it's a "my way or the highway" subject like religion, alcohol, abortion, etc.
I think if I wanted to avoid your situation (getting chewed on basically), I'd have to just laugh in the beginning and say "that's something I stay away from- period!" I wouldn't even give someone the opportunity to start up when I wasn't comfortable there- and that is completely understandable!

~*schnauzermom*~ · Post by **~*schnauzermom*~** » Sun Sep 07, 2008 2:57 pm

There are several subjects that will get a rise out of people and politics is one. There is NO way around it.

Some people take these things as personally as if you were attacking their family member. To me arguing over politics is just not worth it. People strongly believe in what they do, so when one is on one side and the other person on the other side, of course there is conflict. Some just take it over the top.

I guess I am lucky. Most people I know are not all in agreement with the candidate I favor, and that is OK. They respect my choice and I also respect their choice to think for themselves and choose the candidate they feel will best suit their interests and needs. All our beliefs and needs differ, as do the candidates. Some people can respect that and others feel they need to push and bully like the bullies on the playground at recess.

I pay no attention to those radicals that must "fight" and prove their candidate "is" the deal and "must" be elected. If I am in that situation (which I have been) I just stand there, listen them out (after they have been loud, argumentive and obnoxious for a few minutes) and I remanin TOTALLY calm and in control the ENTIRE time, and when they have finished windbagging (and really looking like an idiot) I smile and in a sincere way say "WOW! You are so knowledgable, thanks" and excuse myself because I really need to go do something I feel is productive and not listen to more windbagging. Don't get me wrong, I do not mind discussing politics, but I will not get into it with a person that just wants to yell and talk out of their, well you know

! They have not changed my mind, they just want to be heard is all and some people are just very loud about it. Sure I heard them, but I do not have to agree with them!

Tommyboy · Post by **Tommyboy** » Sun Sep 07, 2008 3:34 pm

I have alot of family with strong ties to one side of the political field and I get to hear it when I'm around them. I usually talk about how great the other guy is and get them stirred up just for kicks. It can be annoying at times no doubt. As schnauzermom stated, just be calm and know you have no reason to get involved with their views. I'm going to start doing the " I'm sorry, I don't thinks it's anyones business who I vote for" and smile.

hopehound · Post by **hopehound** » Sun Sep 07, 2008 4:40 pm

Oh Boy! I've learned my lesson. One of my neice's husband has been emailing me all summer. Pushing for his candadate and saying horrible things for the other candidate.
I had told him several times that I really didn't want to hear that stuff. And he'd back off for awhile.
Then last Friday, a week ago, evening he sent a long missive.
He was praising one and had more horrible stuff
about the opponent. Some of it was just propaganda.
So I thought to just get rid of him so I answered that email. I told him I was going to vote for the one he hated.
I thought he would then give up.

Well, no , not hardly.
I got a very attacking email back. He was very nasty. The essenss of his attack was that I was going to go to hell. He said a lot of stuff. His written word was filled with hate. I realized that he had gone over the top and was actually kind of "sick".

Hey, I leaned my lesson. I will nevre want to discuss politics. Unless it is with someone I know really well.
I had anxiety for several days. I couldn't sleep for several nights. I told my sister and brother what had happened and they were supportive.
I did not have to resort to taking medication.

Now the whole episode has faded. And I don't think of it much.
But I will tell anyone who asks that I don't know who I will vote for. And I will tell them to vote THEIR consciece.

I'm glad this subject was brought up. It enabled me to get this off my chest.
Thanks everybody.
Mary Jane