Last night my boyfriend and I were watching tv and he told me he was going to bed. I have OCD as well as anxiety and at night Is when I do my rituals. I always try to get in bed first so I can do them before he goes to sleep. Otherwise it wakes him up and bothers him. I feel really bad and I tell him I cant help it.
He gets an attitude and tells me "why can't you just get over it" I lost it. Everytime this comes up he is like "I just don't understand. Its mind over matter" It ends up in this huge argument. I told him you don't have to understand what I go through, but please respect that this is me.
For the most part he lets me do my rituals and drops it. and most nights he doesn't say anything. He knows Im trying, but hes like its affecting my life.. hes right! All day today I was like wow If I were him I would get on my nerves. Is this hurting our relationship?? I can't just get over it and it hurts me when i say it. What do I do??
scared how im affecting my boyfriends life Help!
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Guest
Hi Anna,
I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. From the time we started dating until now my anxiety has gotten progressivly worse. He is very supportive but there are times where he does break down and get angry at me for not trying hard enough, not being able to take a vacation etc... I guess it's best to look at it in his shoes, like you said, it does affect his life. Before I had my anxiety, I would probably act the same way. They don't understand how hard it is for us and that we can't just get over it. I don't think the anxiety is always going to help your relationship, but at the same time there is always an issue in a relationship, whether it's money, religion, children etc... I think you need to talk to him, let him know where you are coming from, let him express how he is feeling, and make a decision. Good luck
I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. From the time we started dating until now my anxiety has gotten progressivly worse. He is very supportive but there are times where he does break down and get angry at me for not trying hard enough, not being able to take a vacation etc... I guess it's best to look at it in his shoes, like you said, it does affect his life. Before I had my anxiety, I would probably act the same way. They don't understand how hard it is for us and that we can't just get over it. I don't think the anxiety is always going to help your relationship, but at the same time there is always an issue in a relationship, whether it's money, religion, children etc... I think you need to talk to him, let him know where you are coming from, let him express how he is feeling, and make a decision. Good luck
It can certainly affect spouses... It's difficult for anyone who doesn't experience what we do to understand. How can you explain the "fear from inside", etc. My wife is afraid to learn more about it as she is worried it will somehow affect her, but she will listen. You might need to turn to others to vent and explain how you're feeling. I am taking the strong position and am improving the condition and how I react to it. Have your boyfriend read a book, or even an article, or part of your workbook about this disorder. This makes you up, and he needs to know all about you. He might then understand. If he doesn't, perhaps he's not the right person for you.
I have been practicing 'A New Earth' and doing the classes on Oprah.com. Along with this program, it has been a huge help. I try to live in the moment and let my husband just 'be'. I let him say whatever he is feeling and that's it, I don't get into it with him. Also, I have stopped talking about it all of the time. Everytime I would get the 'feelings' or upset stomach or surge of heat, etc..I would tell him about it. I don't do that anymore. I do my breathing, I play the relaxation tape in my mind, I do what helps me get past it without 'announcing' it to my husband and the kids.
We are all different, I'm just stating what has helped my family and I.
Perhaps you can try your ritual in a different place, where you can be alone, undisturbed and free to go whenever you feel the need.
Good luck.
We are all different, I'm just stating what has helped my family and I.
Perhaps you can try your ritual in a different place, where you can be alone, undisturbed and free to go whenever you feel the need.
Good luck.
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Guest
Hello Anna Burrell,
I have anxiety and mild OCD. Are you on the program? Do you take any meds? My doctor put me on Prozac. Now I would rather take nothing at all but for the time being it seems to help with my OCD. My goal is to recover and take no meds. That's why I'm doing this program. I've been married for 23 years and my wife (Anna) understands but I'm sure I've gotten on her nerves at times. Your boyfriend needs to educate himself on this and be more understanding. But at the same time it will get on his nerves. A lot of other things can get on your nerves as well. It's all in the way you and him choose to react and respond. When two people love each other they take the good with the bad.
I hope you can find all the good.
All my best,
Inside Man
I have anxiety and mild OCD. Are you on the program? Do you take any meds? My doctor put me on Prozac. Now I would rather take nothing at all but for the time being it seems to help with my OCD. My goal is to recover and take no meds. That's why I'm doing this program. I've been married for 23 years and my wife (Anna) understands but I'm sure I've gotten on her nerves at times. Your boyfriend needs to educate himself on this and be more understanding. But at the same time it will get on his nerves. A lot of other things can get on your nerves as well. It's all in the way you and him choose to react and respond. When two people love each other they take the good with the bad.
I hope you can find all the good.
All my best,
Inside Man