Well guys today was an utter shock. I went to the college where my daughter was playing her band concert. The performance started at 3pm and i got there about 2. my soon to be ex showed up around 2:15 but sat in the car until 5 minutes before the performance. And OMG! she was dressed to go party she came in watched the performance and when it was over i got our daughters stuff from her car and she was gone. When i saw her i felt nothing the Love i had for her was gone. I still have the memories we created but i dont know who this woman is. My daughter told me when we got in the truck looks like mommas going to party. I said it looks like shes going to go do something. Me and my daughter went to dinner and we talked about whats going on and i can because my ex wife took me and my childrens lives away from us. I asked my daughter if momma has talked to her about whats going on and she said the onlything momma says is please dont hate her. Hell I dont hate her I wish her well in life and i hope she finds what she is looking for. I know one day I will find a woman that wants my love as much as i want hers but right now its all about the children I will worry about me later right now they need stability and thats what im giving them. Yep, today made it easy to say goodbye to the life i had with her and to look to what the future has to bring. I think im going to go and get a good nights sleep. I will keep you posted.
Karl
help me to understand
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ksl hopeless romantic
- Posts: 40
- Joined: Wed Jan 06, 2010 9:27 am
well guys have you ever seen the movie War Of The Roses. Let me tell you thats what i have been living here lately. This morning she took a 30 minute shower. So when i got in it was ice cold. I have accepted her decision to end our marriage so im moving forward and taking care of the accounts and getting her name off of things with her approval. But now shes mad that its happening and now shes getting spiteful, My daughter came to me tonight and said she wishes momma would move out so we could get a schedule set. I want to remain friends with her after this is over but right now were bitter with each other i guess this is part of it. If anybody has been through this any tips would be great.
My first comment is many prayers to you. Then secondly I urge you to keep your kids out of as much as possible and be as harmonious as you can in front of them. Take a shower before bed if you need to , it's not that important in the big scheme of life. But coming from a home that was in constant strife and bickering sure played a big part in my anxiety and depression. And being married to a man who was used as a PAWN by his Mom to find out and spy on DAD was horrible! It killed and wounded his spirit. As hard as it is you two Adults will have to dig deep and remember to stay focused on facts and not feelings.I know that has got to feel nearly impossible but when the kids are around you have got to. They didn't ask for this and I know you didn't. It's horrible and painful and rocks your world..I have been there too. But just keep reminding yourself that in this you need to come out on the other side of this with your digniity and integrity intact.As an example to your kids of how to deal with lifes
curveballs so to speak. I will be praying for some Diving intervention. Some miracles if need be and for strength for you all. Take care
and keep the faith.
Jill~
curveballs so to speak. I will be praying for some Diving intervention. Some miracles if need be and for strength for you all. Take care
and keep the faith.
Jill~
once again i apologize for what is coming!
1st KLS, I am in awe of you! I think how you are going about all of this is just amazing! Now, kick her out! she does NOT deserve you! your kids do not deserve her to be like this. Get her out of the house, kick her to the streets. She chose this not you and certainly not our kids. If she is going to be such a *&&*&%^*^#(^%%$$&* then treat her like she is treating you. An eye for an eye!
Ok, again KLS, I am in awe! I truly think the way you are going about this takes one hell of a guy! I just cant believe that what is going n can be doing you or the kiddos any good!
1st KLS, I am in awe of you! I think how you are going about all of this is just amazing! Now, kick her out! she does NOT deserve you! your kids do not deserve her to be like this. Get her out of the house, kick her to the streets. She chose this not you and certainly not our kids. If she is going to be such a *&&*&%^*^#(^%%$$&* then treat her like she is treating you. An eye for an eye!
Ok, again KLS, I am in awe! I truly think the way you are going about this takes one hell of a guy! I just cant believe that what is going n can be doing you or the kiddos any good!
Wildcard
If you only look at what is, you might never attain what could be.
If you only look at what is, you might never attain what could be.
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ksl hopeless romantic
- Posts: 40
- Joined: Wed Jan 06, 2010 9:27 am
Well unfortunately in my state you cant kick them out.remember with everything the kids have witnessed the onlything they would remember would be daddy throwing momma out of the house.
She wants a divorce but thinks she is gonna stay here as long as she wants. She lost those rights when she said she wanted a divorce. She came to me yesterday and said what type of oil does her car take i told her and she said I asked you 2 weeks ago to change it. And i looked at her and said 2 weeks ago we were husband and wife. Remember your no longer my responsibality, you lost those rights.
Tonight i went to her and said we need to sit down and discuss the kids sh said about what. I explained time with her , time with me, holidays and summers. she said nothing to me. The onlything keeping me strong right now is the kids and there wellbeing. I will keep you posted.
She wants a divorce but thinks she is gonna stay here as long as she wants. She lost those rights when she said she wanted a divorce. She came to me yesterday and said what type of oil does her car take i told her and she said I asked you 2 weeks ago to change it. And i looked at her and said 2 weeks ago we were husband and wife. Remember your no longer my responsibality, you lost those rights.
Tonight i went to her and said we need to sit down and discuss the kids sh said about what. I explained time with her , time with me, holidays and summers. she said nothing to me. The onlything keeping me strong right now is the kids and there wellbeing. I will keep you posted.
As silly as it may seem, any decisions should be written down in a notebook, the same notebook, every time and you both should sign these decisions. Time will come when one or both of you will go against these decisions and unfortunately this could cause some legal issues. If you have something in writing and dated, not only will you hold on to your word better, but you'll have proof of the decisions you made together.
Just like taking her off the accounts. She decided or agreed to it, but now she's not happy about that, and she may use that against you.
She also may use the children as pawns to get what she wants, if she get spiteful about things.
If possible, maybe even have a mediator when you sit down to have these discussions.
Just like taking her off the accounts. She decided or agreed to it, but now she's not happy about that, and she may use that against you.
She also may use the children as pawns to get what she wants, if she get spiteful about things.
If possible, maybe even have a mediator when you sit down to have these discussions.
Shif.
If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
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ksl hopeless romantic
- Posts: 40
- Joined: Wed Jan 06, 2010 9:27 am
Well guys its been awhile since i posted. Things are getting worse around here.. she wanted this so im giving it to her and now im the bad guy. go figure. i got a po box so i could get the bills to find out that im 3 months behind. The kids feel the stress and im doing all i can to not make it any harder on the kids than it already is. Im filing the papers and she will get served next week. boy th S&*#t will hit the fan then but againn she wanted this i didnt but i do now because i want someone who wants me to love them as much as they love me. Goodnight for now cause i dont get much sleep when i have to sleep with one eye open.
I almost forgot lastweek when i came home from work i noticed that she put a keyed lock on the sparebedroom door. Whats up with that.
I almost forgot lastweek when i came home from work i noticed that she put a keyed lock on the sparebedroom door. Whats up with that.
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Guest
Hello I can only tell you I have been in your shoes my friend. It really hurts to go through so much when you love someone and then they one day decide that its no longer worth going through your marriage. My first marriage ended very badly. One thing you have to know is that you did everything you could to make the marriage work. You can not blame yourself for how things turned out. I blamed myself for so long because I felt like a failure in my marriage and it cost me a lot with my children, job, my sanity, church. I mean the guilt caused me to just want to kill myself. I had counteless neverous breakdowns. I was a mess for a long time. Not to mention my grandmother that raised me after my mom died passed away during that time frame as well. What I am getting at is this too will pass my friend. My children as well kept me going and the one place I made a mistake was not filing for full custody of my kids because it wasn't convenient for me at the time. If you feel you are the better parent fight for your kids brother because they are going to need you from the sounds of things. I will post agian really soon I don't want the post to be to big lol but stay encouraged and stay focused on God and he will see you through this tough time. He sure seen me through.