Have a bizarre sense of humor and so had to laugh at Stop Feeding the Beast. In fact, conjured up any number of beasts that hound us and could use a bit of starving.
Take my walks in quiet, peaceful streets and wonder how long that will last as the country (and the world) implode. Why did I ever bring 2 into this insane world? Such thoughts end all mirth.
Dear Diary
Re: Dear Diary
Hi All,
Mano,
I think it's fabulous that you are learning to be selective (to the extent that one can be) on the energy that you let into your life.
Negative energy is SO draining and unhealthy. You are a wonderful son, and a wonderful person.
Tina,
Take your long walks now, while you can. I'm sure that snow will soon arrive in your neck of the woods, so enjoy while you can.
Yes, I agree. I don't believe in the theory that "the world will come to an end" on a certain date, but it is hard to ignore all of the trouble everywhere we look. I used to be like Mano, and be very selective on what I watched or read, but now it's virtually impossible to avoid the reality of the times.
Door fronts closing daily in our town, businesses barely hanging on, all of the protesting and anger....Never before in my time have I seen anything like this.
Something very charged is in the air, and it frightens me.
We just had a HUGE storm in our area, a snow storm, the first on record for the month of October. Power is excepted to be out for 3 weeks in some areas. Our area was just hit by Irene this summer, where folks lost power for weeks, so people are getting angry. I saw on the news yesterday that the military, in full uniform, was out going from town to town, with hand power saws, helping the power company to cut and remove fallen limbs from the roadways. They had their military .... searching.... jeeps (?) as transportation.
But it made me think, it just scared me.
Something is definitely off balance in our country, and people feel the negative energy, and we are scared.
I know I am.
OK, no more rambling from me today.
Off to buy fabric, as I've finally finished my needlepoint pillow (a very large beautiful echinacea purpurea) and I'm excited to have it bound and stitched and backed, etc.
Love to all,
J.
XO
Mano,
I think it's fabulous that you are learning to be selective (to the extent that one can be) on the energy that you let into your life.
Negative energy is SO draining and unhealthy. You are a wonderful son, and a wonderful person.
Tina,
Take your long walks now, while you can. I'm sure that snow will soon arrive in your neck of the woods, so enjoy while you can.
Yes, I agree. I don't believe in the theory that "the world will come to an end" on a certain date, but it is hard to ignore all of the trouble everywhere we look. I used to be like Mano, and be very selective on what I watched or read, but now it's virtually impossible to avoid the reality of the times.
Door fronts closing daily in our town, businesses barely hanging on, all of the protesting and anger....Never before in my time have I seen anything like this.
Something very charged is in the air, and it frightens me.
We just had a HUGE storm in our area, a snow storm, the first on record for the month of October. Power is excepted to be out for 3 weeks in some areas. Our area was just hit by Irene this summer, where folks lost power for weeks, so people are getting angry. I saw on the news yesterday that the military, in full uniform, was out going from town to town, with hand power saws, helping the power company to cut and remove fallen limbs from the roadways. They had their military .... searching.... jeeps (?) as transportation.
But it made me think, it just scared me.
Something is definitely off balance in our country, and people feel the negative energy, and we are scared.
I know I am.
OK, no more rambling from me today.
Off to buy fabric, as I've finally finished my needlepoint pillow (a very large beautiful echinacea purpurea) and I'm excited to have it bound and stitched and backed, etc.
Love to all,
J.
XO
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tina martin
- Posts: 792
- Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 9:24 pm
Re: Dear Diary
J, it is a world that, for me, seems to unravel more each day. Walking and exercise help keep me somewhat sane. I walk in most any temp. Only ice and strong winds may keep me in. Am into meditating twice a day and find Tai Chi to be almost another form of meditation. We have to keep trying and fighting and keep the positives in front of us.
Your needlepoint work is probably fit for prizes. It's wonderful to have such a hobby. I have a new crochet book to try some new stitches, but I'm not very good. Still, it's a little hobby I enjoy.......Love, T
Your needlepoint work is probably fit for prizes. It's wonderful to have such a hobby. I have a new crochet book to try some new stitches, but I'm not very good. Still, it's a little hobby I enjoy.......Love, T
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bunny rabbit
- Posts: 66
- Joined: Wed Jun 01, 2011 2:41 pm
Re: Dear Diary
Dear Diary: I'm trying to be positive here and see my daughter's need for distance from me as a gift - a time-out for good behaviour. Do I really need to hear about all the problems and issues going on in her life as if I don't have enough of my own issues to deal with? It's time I started being nicer to myself and focus on what is lovely, pure, praiseworthy and of good report. I need to let my daughter's life unfold exactly how it is supposed to. She has the free will to live her own life, to make her own choices and to grow as she lives through the results of her own actions. I need to parent myself. You know what is the hardest revelation for me in all this is? The reason for my worry, fear, obsessing about her choices is control. I want control and I am powerless over her. I admit it. Ouch!!!!!! Blessings from the Controlling Bunny
Re: Dear Diary
Dear Bunny,
It is so, so, SO wonderful when one learns to let go. It is a process for sure, but you seem to be doing EVERYTHING right.
It's true, your daughter's life is her own now. One where she will make many mistakes, and learn from each mistake she makes.
When our children were young we ached for them and cheered for them, taught them, molded them and now we need to learn to let go.
My daughter is 21, and I call it the in between stage. She is here all the time, we talk daily, she needs to know that I am here, but she also is determined to live her own life.
That left me with a void to fill. But I'm learning how wonderful MY OWN life can be too. Live your life to the fullest. You will make mistakes along the way, stumble, and grow from each mistake. I feel so happy for you while I'm typing this, because you are letting go. I don't think you were controlling. I think actually that she was asking too much, but you are nudging her out of the nest.
YAY Bunny.
I just received a call from William Sonoma, and my interview is next week. Cross your fingers. (although Pottery Barn is where I really want to work)
Love,
J.
XO
It is so, so, SO wonderful when one learns to let go. It is a process for sure, but you seem to be doing EVERYTHING right.
It's true, your daughter's life is her own now. One where she will make many mistakes, and learn from each mistake she makes.
When our children were young we ached for them and cheered for them, taught them, molded them and now we need to learn to let go.
My daughter is 21, and I call it the in between stage. She is here all the time, we talk daily, she needs to know that I am here, but she also is determined to live her own life.
That left me with a void to fill. But I'm learning how wonderful MY OWN life can be too. Live your life to the fullest. You will make mistakes along the way, stumble, and grow from each mistake. I feel so happy for you while I'm typing this, because you are letting go. I don't think you were controlling. I think actually that she was asking too much, but you are nudging her out of the nest.
YAY Bunny.
I just received a call from William Sonoma, and my interview is next week. Cross your fingers. (although Pottery Barn is where I really want to work)
Love,
J.
XO
Re: Dear Diary
Bunny, Give yourself a group hug. Realizeing, my spelling sucks... sorry. Friendship with our children usually comes later in life as they or once upon a time "us" realize what it's all about. Fact is if we choose too we never stop learning and growing in knowlege and exsperiances. Admiting what you have been feeling shows realness and that manifests less stress and a much calmer happier you. 
Re: Dear Diary
You Ladys do not be fretting about the future. Take it to the bank or bunker if need be that there is Americans ie: Patriots that will NOT let the ship, US of A to sink. "paul revere" Such as WE. It may and will take on water and debris along with being thrashed about as we currently are and as we feel and see, just realize that there is much storm to blow thru yet for us also to see.
We are a Republic of Liberty and Freedom for all. The envy will allways be, but the Freedom that a real American knows is far to powerfull to be put back in a bottle and contained by few that know not what it is to be free.
The Establishment will be shaken from their tree. Maybe it should be called tough Love......
Keep them prayers coming and with God's blessing someday we will see.
R
We are a Republic of Liberty and Freedom for all. The envy will allways be, but the Freedom that a real American knows is far to powerfull to be put back in a bottle and contained by few that know not what it is to be free.
The Establishment will be shaken from their tree. Maybe it should be called tough Love......
Keep them prayers coming and with God's blessing someday we will see.
R
Re: Dear Diary
Dear Diary,
I just learned more in one therapy session then I have ever learned in any other therapy session, even if I combined them all together.
It's painful to hear the truth, but it's important too.
So. Guess what. I grew up pretending that everything was normal. And beautiful. And I grew up pretending that people loved me when they didn't. Or people loved me for the outside parts of me, not the inside parts of me.
Even my own parents.
Especially my own parents.
So. Sigh. Well. Well, where does that leave me now?
Pretending. Pretending that everything is fine on the outside. Basically living another illusion.
I'm still living an illusion, only THIS time, I'm the one perpetuating the illusion.
My mother called and wants to have lunch in a hoity toity town. My therapist asked me what she would say if she knew we were going bankrupt. I said "she would disown me". She would first want to know where to buy the latest whatever, I would pretend that everything is fine, and it would all be one big lie.
She abused me and has never loved me and I'm not having lunch with her.
But here is what my therapist wants me to do..
I'm supposed to visualize that I am "preparing" to have a baby. If I was preparing to get pregnant, I would eat properly, take vitamins, etc.
So, I have to take even bigger steps in preparing to go bankrupt. I won't be able to get my hair done anymore. I won't be able to do many things anymore.
I have to stop pretending.
My life is real. I'm real. I deserve to have a real life.
My job interview is at 2pm today. Wish me luck.
No more illusions, and no more pretending.
I'm broker then broke and in a loveless marriage.
One step at a time.
Love to all,
XO
J.
I just learned more in one therapy session then I have ever learned in any other therapy session, even if I combined them all together.
It's painful to hear the truth, but it's important too.
So. Guess what. I grew up pretending that everything was normal. And beautiful. And I grew up pretending that people loved me when they didn't. Or people loved me for the outside parts of me, not the inside parts of me.
Even my own parents.
Especially my own parents.
So. Sigh. Well. Well, where does that leave me now?
Pretending. Pretending that everything is fine on the outside. Basically living another illusion.
I'm still living an illusion, only THIS time, I'm the one perpetuating the illusion.
My mother called and wants to have lunch in a hoity toity town. My therapist asked me what she would say if she knew we were going bankrupt. I said "she would disown me". She would first want to know where to buy the latest whatever, I would pretend that everything is fine, and it would all be one big lie.
She abused me and has never loved me and I'm not having lunch with her.
But here is what my therapist wants me to do..
I'm supposed to visualize that I am "preparing" to have a baby. If I was preparing to get pregnant, I would eat properly, take vitamins, etc.
So, I have to take even bigger steps in preparing to go bankrupt. I won't be able to get my hair done anymore. I won't be able to do many things anymore.
I have to stop pretending.
My life is real. I'm real. I deserve to have a real life.
My job interview is at 2pm today. Wish me luck.
No more illusions, and no more pretending.
I'm broker then broke and in a loveless marriage.
One step at a time.
Love to all,
XO
J.
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tina martin
- Posts: 792
- Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 9:24 pm
Re: Dear Diary
Wish you good luck for now re the job. Keep cool, calm, and it will be OK.
The rest I'll think about in the gym and report back. Remember, you are healthy, you are well, do not lose sight of all you've accomplished on your own. And love, Good Lord, that big mystery.
The rest I'll think about in the gym and report back. Remember, you are healthy, you are well, do not lose sight of all you've accomplished on your own. And love, Good Lord, that big mystery.
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tina martin
- Posts: 792
- Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 9:24 pm
Re: Dear Diary
What can we say about love? Parents love (or don't) depending on their own experience, or so I think. Same with men and women. Men will think the grass is greener elsewhere and then find out that love is so much more than a roll in the hay. Your mother loves you to the extent she is able. Things don't get easier as she ages.
As to pretending, who doesn't pretend? All the world's a stage and we are all players (Shakespeare ?). We pretend to others and to ourselves. We can search for more authenticity, a big quest for many. Am I a know-it-all? All pretense, ha ha, Love........T And what about love in friendship?
As to pretending, who doesn't pretend? All the world's a stage and we are all players (Shakespeare ?). We pretend to others and to ourselves. We can search for more authenticity, a big quest for many. Am I a know-it-all? All pretense, ha ha, Love........T And what about love in friendship?