Stress Center Peer Support

Tina Magarine · Post by **Tina Magarine** » Wed Jan 30, 2008 2:13 pm

DeeDee00
He dosen't let me know sometimes that he is watching it because I get really mad at him. He wants me to watch it with him, I just don't know why I just can't do it for him. I want to because he enjoys them. How do I get rid of these feelings and just enjoy them with him?

cuttingirl · Post by **cuttingirl** » Wed Jan 30, 2008 3:07 pm

Originally posted by Joe B.:
Any suggestions are appreciated.

I made just that, a suggestion- two in fact: to consult with a wise older person who has lived in a succesful marriage and to again talk with your spouse.

Please accept my apology for offending you.

cuttingirl · Post by **cuttingirl** » Wed Jan 30, 2008 3:23 pm

Sorry- double post- meant to edit not post again

Originally posted by Joe B.:
Any suggestions are appreciated.

It is very dangerous to act like an expert here. You are judging and angry and could really damage someone's mental state on this board with your diagnosis.

I made just that, a suggestion.

Please accept my apology for offending you. Yes, I was angry when I read your initial post. I've been on the other side of what you're talking about, so I was wrong to react that way to you. I am so sorry I upset you and hurt you. Are you ok?

deedee00 · Post by **deedee00** » Wed Jan 30, 2008 5:01 pm

Hi Tina. You can pm me if you want to talk.

Joe - I don't think you know me enough to even suggest that I not post here again. I think you have a lot of nerve.

You should have been talking to your wife if you couldn't handle opinions that you don't want to hear.

Jezebel · Post by **Jezebel** » Wed Jan 30, 2008 6:30 pm

From my experience; I personally don't have sex for personal reasons. I think my anxiety is increased due to this. I "think" its a major factor of why I am suffering from anxiety. I have thought of just having meaningless sex to get rid of my anxiety. However, I dont think it is the best solution. Eventhough, Sex releases stress and can reduce anxiety levels. I think you should discuss your feelings with your wife. It is essential for coping with anxiety. I am noone to judge, but I think it would be healthier to have an intimate relationship with your wife again. Perhaps her sex drive isnt as strong as yours, or whatever the reason may be. You should let her know whats on your mind. Start off by making her feel attractive everyday. Also, It is great that you do appreciate her for a great mother that she is (which is something not many guys do) Good Luck.

Nicholene · Post by **Nicholene** » Thu Jan 31, 2008 2:01 am

I have been reading these posts and I need to reply because I am om the other side of this in my relationship. My marriage is falling apart and my husband claims that its for the same reasons that Joe is saying. But without going into long details my husband wants a realationship in bed but not out of bed. He couldnt even tell you what I was wearing yesterday or what my bosses name is or what I ate for lunch. Coaching baseball, his fantasy league and his couching buddies all come before me and when I am sick I dont get as much as a can I get you a glass of water and yet he wonders why I am not that interested in a passionate sex life. Just giving a little of my situation as the other side to this story. Not sure if it relates to your situation but maybe a good relationship outside of the bedroom will lead to more. Not trying to offend just giving a side to my situation.

Malikye · Post by **Malikye** » Thu Jan 31, 2008 7:40 pm

there are a few people who won't have sex with their spouse. i don't. i don't want to. i won't have therapy,because a therapist would want to talk about it. my husband has tried all the romantic stuff. it don't make me want to have sex with him. we have talked about it.i don't want him to feel unwanted, but he does. he is getting older,don't think he cares much about it anymore. it started soon after we were married. good luck dude..........malikye