Dear Diary

[Loveslife]

Thanks for your understanding re: Lizzie, Tina. The Zone is lucky to have you. I visit another sight, as well as occasionally the LTT site. Today I totally put my foot in my mouth on the LTT site and upset someone. Sooooo....Probably best you don't see that drama.
Happy fourth to you and the boss, R, Paislee, Mano and anyone else that reads this.

[tina martin]

What other LTT site? Is there an LTT site? Sorry, I'm confused, J.

[Loveslife]

Hi Tina,
I'm sorry about the confusion. There is a facebook page called Living The Truth with Dr. Keith Ablow. Dr. K will occasionally post his blogs to the page, and then the "members" interact and discuss the blog. It isn't anything like the old site, but you will be conversing with people that also enjoy reading what Dr. K. has to say. I've started to participate a little bit, and then I tried my weird sense of humor but apparently I hurt someone's feelings. I have a feeling that most of these people might have been on the LTT site. For instance Federica visits and comments quite regularly.
You might enjoy it. Let me know if you want the link.....

[tina martin]

Hi J, thank you for clarifying. I did not realize it was FB so I'll skip it for now. Think I'd need a shrink to analyze my FB attitude, but I can do without FB and Twitter and all the rest of the electronic world. Sites like this and Zone and as LTT once existed appeal to me.

Think I've seen you ask about the program here. Want to mention that the program here is one I do not have but have liked learning a bit about CBT, Cognitive Behavior Therapy, which it is based on. I learned by looking at other sections and what people have shared. Without realizing it we practice parts of CBT with positive self-talk and exercise and meditation. A good number of people have given nice testimonials to the effectiveness of it. Believe R has the program so he may know more.

Hope you have a wonderful 4th, Love............T

[Paisleegreen]

Hi All--I'm still here. I don't go to the lake until late July. Not doing much of anything right now except garden work and volunteer work. Grandchildren and parents have gone up to the mountains, don't know what my other two children are doing and DS 20 broke up with his GF the other night and I'm friends with her on FB so I get to see her bare her heart on her sleeve. DS didn't break by phone call, but by texting. So that didn't go over so well, but he felt he couldn't do it if he spoke on the phone, That is easy to understand because we know he hasn't been a good communicator in the relationship dept.

Not too many Geeks are good at social life without their wireless devices. Anyway, I've smoothed a few things over with the GF, letting her know that I care about her and she is always welcomed at my house when she is ready. DS would be friends if that is possible. But it was a long distance relationship while she was away at college and she needed constant validation of his lover for her. He realized that she is too needy and not very independent, which is true. So I was concerned about the relationship. As she wanted to get married and I knew they both are too young and haven't "played the field" or dated enough of the opposite sex to get a mature decision.

DS is interested in another girl at this time and didn't feel the same feelings towards this other girl that he met last winter and tried to help her with her dysfunctional family. Her father died a few years back and was sick before that, so this girl is codependent on my son. She had never gotten her driver's license and could have during the time DS was dating her and rescued her from her home. So he was feeling the stress of her being upset with him if he never called her to say, "Good-night" when he works all night and sleeps during the day.

Anyway, we've had some good talks...

My DH has been working hard as well, so he is very tired, so I know what its like and I understand that that is life. We give and take...so anyway, things are pretty much slow over here. I'm in that in between stage where I'm free to do something, but too tired to do too much. And then my workaholic thoughts come in to play, from growing up days, that I should be doing something productive. So here I am...checking out StressCenter.com, already read email and FB stuff. I think I just might have a bit of hayfever, as I have been working way too much outdoors.

Okay, I hope everyone has a great 4th of July. So far I'm not going anywhere or doing anything. Which is fine...I'm just home with DH and we're not really talking to each other that much, but we're civil. I'm just accepting things as they are right now. I guess keeping expectations of many things low or realistic. There are only so many hours in a day and so much energy, and I am focusing on the priorities right now. My anxiety is doing pretty good. Paislee

[manofmusic]

Hello everyone !

I have a question that I'm hoping someone can help me with. Mom is still in the hospital and they are taking VERY good care of her. They are treating her like a queen and she deserves it more that anyone I know because she took care of dad for 7 years while he had emphysema. Anyway, the dr thinks that she will be home on Friday. Her fluid in her lungs is almost all gone and now they just have to get her walking the halls.

Anyway...a family member (who will remain nameless) keeps talking negative about mom and her health. He'll say things like "she'll never get better" or "she has emphysema just like dad" (which she doesn't - her lungs are clean. They were checked over at the hospital). He talked negative about dad for years before he passed away. He's always been a very bitter person. I like to stay upbeat. I like to look at the positive side of things. He has knocked me down my whole life and I'm tired of it. I've gone thru enough this year. I don't need that kind of crap too. I told him to stop talking that way. He said "Your head's up your ***"." I didn't say anything after that. I think I just continued on with what I was doing. What would you do in a situation like this ? I really don't need the wonderful family member in my life, but I want to keep things as peaceful as I can around mom. She doesn't need to know about this. Help !

[Loveslife]

Hi Mano,
Your lovely family member has stepped over your boundaries, disrespected you and your family.

I would say "I am going to disengage from this conversation, as you are belittling not only me, but my family as well.
I have nothing further to say to you, and would appreciate it if you would mind your business, and I will mind mine"

I'm glad that your mother is improving, and so happy to learn she is coming home soon.

You are a great son, and your mother must be an awesome mom. Don't forget that, because that is all that matters.

((HUGS))

[Loveslife]

Dear Diary,
Emotionally, I've had a rough day today. I saw my trusted psychiatrist, Dr. W., and I sort of danced around something that has been bothering me.
It's a long story, but ultimately someone at work peaked at a note that I wrote to my supervisor. My supervisor used the word "peak" and told me how to avoid having my notes read in the future. Scotch tape the folded note on all sides and mark with an X in several places, so the perpetrator would have to perfectly realign my X's.

But the part that bother's me is that I can't stand, and I mean I really can't stand the word "peak". I've sort of been in a free fall ever since this therapy appointment.

Also, the whole Casey trial made me sick to my stomach. All of it.

I feel so confused. I did have a lovely weekend visiting my stepson at the beach, and we had a good, productive talk.

I don't like that word. Peak. Gross.

Love,
J.
PS
Hi to all and love to all.
PPS
I'm reading about codependency, and have decided to do whatever it takes to build up my self esteem.

[tina martin]

Mano, agree with what Loveslife says and would add the following. I would not respond to this person. If he persists, you can express your feelings that he is not helping; but, in fact, is hurting. You aim for peace and comfort for your mom.

If the doctor says your mom can come home, she'll be happy to be at home. I believe there is professional nursing help she can receive at home, as needed. But, clearly, your mom will always be happier at home. You are one fine son.

[tina martin]

Hi J, please don't get upset at the work incident. Listen to your supervisor, take her suggestion and then try and let it go. There will almost always be those types at work. Feel good you have your supervisor looking out for you. If necessary, call Dr. W and discuss it with her.

That verdict today is so weird. But we, on the outside, don't know everything. We want truth and justice. All we get is the law. Saw Dr. K on FOX, interesting as always. That is one miserable, dysfunctional family.

Self and all its cousins, self-esteem, self-worth, etc. are everything. Requires constant attention. For me too. Have a good night, Love...........T