Dear Diary
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tina martin
- Posts: 792
- Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 9:24 pm
Re: Dear Diary
This is such wonderful news, J. So happy to hear from you. Give Coco a gentle squeze. Love..........T
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
Re: Dear Diary
Hi J, glad to hear from you! I'm glad you are having fun in Florida and with your dear friend all by yourself. Yippee! 
I'm happy to hear that your dear dog is getting well.
R, I haven't heard from you lately, you must be having some summer fun!
T, thanks for your advice, I think I will have to do just as you suggest, w/o DH. While at the therapist office I told him DH's suggestion, but wondered how much of a mediator DH would make. I asked him that in front of the Dr. I just don't think he would be a good mediator because I think he uses the children to "get back at me" which he would deny. It is to his advantage to have the help of my children in his business. Even to the detriment of DS 20 y.o. college ed. I just don't see him focusing on DS's schedule to get his studies done and exams taken. Time really does fly...
My Therapist did address DH on not going to the Dr to get a physical and get checked out for why he is snoring and even if he were to get a ACAP machine from the widow, he still needs a Dr to tell him how to use it, if that is what is needed.
The other is to get his hearing checked and I would like to see bloodwork done to see his chlolesterol levels checked as well.
He has been putting this off for a hear now and finally the Psychologist talks to him about it after I've been seeing him for almost a year... a couple months shy. DH brought up how he misses me and doesn't like how we don't share a bedroom due to his snoring. That is when I remind him that we would if he had just put in a queen or twin bed in the guest room and remove the server. Then when he snores I'll leave the room. But he made such a fuss about the bed he bought and said that he would sleep in the guest room.
Since a "Server's" electronic smell, sound & heat doesn't bother him. We're still fine as far as we watch TV together and other things couples do, I just can't stay in the same bed as him because he vibrates the bed when he snores. Also, he goes to bed in the wee hours of the night and gets all kinds of phone calls and now text messages, so his cell phone rings or buzzes a lot.
Well, the Dr now wants me to see him alone next time to work on my anxiety issues. I'm not sure what he can really do except charge me a visit and tell me all the things Lucinda and the Program tells me. I can only think he wants to tell me things privately about DH or give me a chance to talk. Since DH doesn't answer questions the Dr asks quickly, he goes into story telling mode. More like he is conversing in a visiting conversation, than serious business of relationships. I watch the clock tick away on the Dr's desk and money burning up.
Okay, last thing, I was able to go to the waterpark with my grandchildren when our temps got into the 90's. I had a wonderful time, lots of exercise, sunshine, lots of social contact and fun. Today I rested, and did indoor work.
How are you doing Tina? R? J?
I'm happy to hear that your dear dog is getting well.
R, I haven't heard from you lately, you must be having some summer fun!
T, thanks for your advice, I think I will have to do just as you suggest, w/o DH. While at the therapist office I told him DH's suggestion, but wondered how much of a mediator DH would make. I asked him that in front of the Dr. I just don't think he would be a good mediator because I think he uses the children to "get back at me" which he would deny. It is to his advantage to have the help of my children in his business. Even to the detriment of DS 20 y.o. college ed. I just don't see him focusing on DS's schedule to get his studies done and exams taken. Time really does fly...
My Therapist did address DH on not going to the Dr to get a physical and get checked out for why he is snoring and even if he were to get a ACAP machine from the widow, he still needs a Dr to tell him how to use it, if that is what is needed.
The other is to get his hearing checked and I would like to see bloodwork done to see his chlolesterol levels checked as well.
He has been putting this off for a hear now and finally the Psychologist talks to him about it after I've been seeing him for almost a year... a couple months shy. DH brought up how he misses me and doesn't like how we don't share a bedroom due to his snoring. That is when I remind him that we would if he had just put in a queen or twin bed in the guest room and remove the server. Then when he snores I'll leave the room. But he made such a fuss about the bed he bought and said that he would sleep in the guest room.
Since a "Server's" electronic smell, sound & heat doesn't bother him. We're still fine as far as we watch TV together and other things couples do, I just can't stay in the same bed as him because he vibrates the bed when he snores. Also, he goes to bed in the wee hours of the night and gets all kinds of phone calls and now text messages, so his cell phone rings or buzzes a lot.
Well, the Dr now wants me to see him alone next time to work on my anxiety issues. I'm not sure what he can really do except charge me a visit and tell me all the things Lucinda and the Program tells me. I can only think he wants to tell me things privately about DH or give me a chance to talk. Since DH doesn't answer questions the Dr asks quickly, he goes into story telling mode. More like he is conversing in a visiting conversation, than serious business of relationships. I watch the clock tick away on the Dr's desk and money burning up.
Okay, last thing, I was able to go to the waterpark with my grandchildren when our temps got into the 90's. I had a wonderful time, lots of exercise, sunshine, lots of social contact and fun. Today I rested, and did indoor work.
How are you doing Tina? R? J?
Re: Dear Diary
Dear Diary,
Where do I begin? I am back from my super duper wonderfully fantastic week in Florida visiting Claudia. I was so careful to wear 40 sunblock on my face and 30 on my body.
We spent most of the time swimming in the ocean and the pool. I really mean it. I was in the water for about 4 hours each day.
I had so much fun. Truly. Claudia told me it is priceless to look into the same eyes that you have been looking into for 40 years.
I helped her get to the root of her problems of why she over eats. Every day we had a therapy session for her in the ocean, and we talked about her childhood. I helped her heal, and I really truly do feel she will be able to shed her weight now, because we talked about all of her shame that she felt as a child. She was a child that developed very early, and men were always leering at her from an early age, and she didn't understand it and it made her feel uncomfortable. (this is the watered down version)
Anyway, I am back now and must go to work tonight. Julie is enrolled in a school and wants to focus on becoming a medical assistant. She will take her classes at night, after work. She is taking out a loan to complete this. I have decided to not pursue this. It's enough that Julie told me that I inspired her to do this for herself.
I want to move to Florida to be near Claudia. I could easily find a job down there. There are two women that have a concierge service and are looking to grow their business, and they would hire me.
I am starting to feel stuck again. I feel confused.
Love,
Me.
Where do I begin? I am back from my super duper wonderfully fantastic week in Florida visiting Claudia. I was so careful to wear 40 sunblock on my face and 30 on my body.
We spent most of the time swimming in the ocean and the pool. I really mean it. I was in the water for about 4 hours each day.
I had so much fun. Truly. Claudia told me it is priceless to look into the same eyes that you have been looking into for 40 years.
I helped her get to the root of her problems of why she over eats. Every day we had a therapy session for her in the ocean, and we talked about her childhood. I helped her heal, and I really truly do feel she will be able to shed her weight now, because we talked about all of her shame that she felt as a child. She was a child that developed very early, and men were always leering at her from an early age, and she didn't understand it and it made her feel uncomfortable. (this is the watered down version)
Anyway, I am back now and must go to work tonight. Julie is enrolled in a school and wants to focus on becoming a medical assistant. She will take her classes at night, after work. She is taking out a loan to complete this. I have decided to not pursue this. It's enough that Julie told me that I inspired her to do this for herself.
I want to move to Florida to be near Claudia. I could easily find a job down there. There are two women that have a concierge service and are looking to grow their business, and they would hire me.
I am starting to feel stuck again. I feel confused.
Love,
Me.
Re: Dear Diary
PS
even with the sunblock, my face is so sunburned and so are my shoulders.
even with the sunblock, my face is so sunburned and so are my shoulders.
Re: Dear Diary
PPS Dear Diary,
Wow!! Upon review of my above post to you diary, it is clear that I fall into the "healer" category.
I wonder how I should cchange this pattern??
Love,
Me.
Wow!! Upon review of my above post to you diary, it is clear that I fall into the "healer" category.
I wonder how I should cchange this pattern??
Love,
Me.
Re: Dear Diary
Dear diary,
OMG. I just had a code pink. ( baby abduction). I handled it well, made all the necessary alerts, and thank God it was a false alarm..
I'm still shaking. The father got too close to the door with his infant, and my code pink alarm went off.
Very scary and stressful.
Love,
Me
OMG. I just had a code pink. ( baby abduction). I handled it well, made all the necessary alerts, and thank God it was a false alarm..
I'm still shaking. The father got too close to the door with his infant, and my code pink alarm went off.
Very scary and stressful.
Love,
Me
Re: Dear Diary
J, what if instead of changing the natural in you, work the steps to refine the talents.
Would appear Florida (being free) was very healthy for you as well. It gave you a chance to be free from the man made fog you have been smothering in. Good job on the lockdown.
I am thrilled with your new excitement.
R
Would appear Florida (being free) was very healthy for you as well. It gave you a chance to be free from the man made fog you have been smothering in. Good job on the lockdown.
I am thrilled with your new excitement.
R
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tina martin
- Posts: 792
- Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 9:24 pm
Re: Dear Diary
Our issues don't change much, do they? Paislee and your home situation, J and your desire to be on your own and me and my brother.
His suffering has gotten so much worse. He does not want to get up or wash or dress or eat. He does not want to live and I do not blame him. If I had a way out for him I'd help him in an instant. If that creature in the news can make chloroform, why can't I? I want something for him and myself should I find myself in similar circumstances. It is what preoccupies me day and night.
His suffering has gotten so much worse. He does not want to get up or wash or dress or eat. He does not want to live and I do not blame him. If I had a way out for him I'd help him in an instant. If that creature in the news can make chloroform, why can't I? I want something for him and myself should I find myself in similar circumstances. It is what preoccupies me day and night.
Re: Dear Diary
Oh Tina, I'm so sorry. Claudia's father is falling more and more into himself with his Alzheimer's disease. It is incredibly
painful to witness.
I can only say that it is so, so, so, so, so much harder on the family and caregivers, as the patient is already gone, so to speak.
Your brother is depressed too. I'm sure of it. There was a point in my life where I refused to get up and shower or eat or do anything, mainly because I was told I HAD alzheimer's disease. I didn't, but I spiraled into a bad depression.
I'm sorry that you feel so helpless. There are no words. Only love.
Love,
J.
painful to witness.
I can only say that it is so, so, so, so, so much harder on the family and caregivers, as the patient is already gone, so to speak.
Your brother is depressed too. I'm sure of it. There was a point in my life where I refused to get up and shower or eat or do anything, mainly because I was told I HAD alzheimer's disease. I didn't, but I spiraled into a bad depression.
I'm sorry that you feel so helpless. There are no words. Only love.
Love,
J.
Re: Dear Diary
R.,
Thank you so much for your lovely response. I am busy building self esteem, I suppose. It feels great.
Love,
J.
Thank you so much for your lovely response. I am busy building self esteem, I suppose. It feels great.
Love,
J.