Hi Lindalee,
Yes, you did simply overwhelm yourself! I do it all the time, even after I think I am 'cured'. What I mean by this is that after I get through a very rough patch of anxiety and learn to relax and take things slow, I tend to get over-confident and push myself TOO far. Sometimes we all need baby steps, and when we step too far outside our comfort zone we experience a major setback.
Then, emotions tend to spiral out of control. You start to question everything, and your self-confidence plumets. We all go through this. You should be proud of yourself for pushing yourself to do something you were not comfortable with, and be compassionate with yourself... your avoidance behaviors after feeling such strong anxiety are typical. I am not saying you should avoid driving now, but take smaller steps. I am the EXACT same way with driving by the way... if I am calm I can handle two-lanes, but if I am experiencing a difficult time with anxiety, I take long routes to avoid congested roads and highways.
Use the tools from the program (yes, go back and review everything). Wait until you are feeling calm and relaxed and begin with small steps. Pretend Lucinda is in the car talking to you, and leave on one of your favorite sessions as you test the waters (or should I say, roads!).
You are just experiencing a setback. This healing process takes time and if you turn to your program skills each time, you will see that the setbacks last less and less time.
The people on this forum have helped me feel connected in my journey so I encourage you to continue to contribute! We are all experiencing the same feelings here, and we are all strong enough to talk ourselves through difficult times.
One More Step
Manofmusic... it's funny how similar the personality traits of anxiety sufferers are! We are all 'gotta get there now' people!
I find I am so much more relaxed when I'm not rushing to get to where I am going. In reality, how much time do you save by rushing? MAYBE one or two minutes? If it's a 2-hour trip, maybe 10 minutes? Was that one to ten minutes worth the stress? I am trying hard to take my own advice, and so far it's working
I find I am so much more relaxed when I'm not rushing to get to where I am going. In reality, how much time do you save by rushing? MAYBE one or two minutes? If it's a 2-hour trip, maybe 10 minutes? Was that one to ten minutes worth the stress? I am trying hard to take my own advice, and so far it's working
Good stuff gang. I like the driving slower goal. I need to get the Speed Racer outta my system when I get driving. I catch myself racing people without realizing it at first and then when I see I can't pass them or a lights about to change I am like " Oh Crap, what am I doing?" Maybe I was an Indy driver in another life hahaha
Anyway It was about half way thru the day when I finally got showered and then got inspired to get out to Wallyworld. I went and bouught some needed items for the food bank I work at and it was nice to get out. I 99% of the time like interacting with people and being kind to strangers. I wished the cashier and the door greeter both a "nice day" as I left and they really got a kick out of it and wish one right back at me. Paying it forward with little random acts of kindness can really make a persons day better. And it helps us get our mind off of ourself.
Oh yeah and TGIF!! Tomorrow!!
J~
Anyway It was about half way thru the day when I finally got showered and then got inspired to get out to Wallyworld. I went and bouught some needed items for the food bank I work at and it was nice to get out. I 99% of the time like interacting with people and being kind to strangers. I wished the cashier and the door greeter both a "nice day" as I left and they really got a kick out of it and wish one right back at me. Paying it forward with little random acts of kindness can really make a persons day better. And it helps us get our mind off of ourself.
Oh yeah and TGIF!! Tomorrow!!
J~
Thanks Berengar for the encouragement.
I have been tempted to just give up. It's difficult for me to practice a little at a time, the highway is a half hour away from my home and only has 2 lanes. If I drive an hour or more I can get into 3 lanes and mountain passes which are stressful, so I sometimes think I don't need to get over this. Then an opportunity comes up and I want to go but feel I can't, like now when a girlfriend invited me to go camping with her but the camp is 2 hours away by highway. And after what happened in Ohio I know I'm not ready. So I made excuses why I can't go.
I have another stressful situation I am faciing. I own a 25 year old horse, she's been my and my daughters pet for 10 years. She has suffered pain in her front feet for most of 3 years now. We sometimes get her comfortable with special shoeing and then something happens and she has a setback, each time we think the pain is just going to be for a little while and then she will be well. But now she is again suffering and with the pain meds and special boots she can barely walk, and now I see that her back legs are sore now too, arthritis? Add to this my husband being laid off last April with no job in site, our ranch is up for sale but no one is even coming to look at it yet alone buy it. I can't afford to spend lots of money for arthritis injections as well as special shoeing. My head says its time to put her down, but my heart just cries when I think of it. But I cry when I watch her walk with the pain too.
Typing this out has in itself been helpful, I have tried to make her well. Maybe this is a time to" accept what I cannot change"
I have been tempted to just give up. It's difficult for me to practice a little at a time, the highway is a half hour away from my home and only has 2 lanes. If I drive an hour or more I can get into 3 lanes and mountain passes which are stressful, so I sometimes think I don't need to get over this. Then an opportunity comes up and I want to go but feel I can't, like now when a girlfriend invited me to go camping with her but the camp is 2 hours away by highway. And after what happened in Ohio I know I'm not ready. So I made excuses why I can't go.
I have another stressful situation I am faciing. I own a 25 year old horse, she's been my and my daughters pet for 10 years. She has suffered pain in her front feet for most of 3 years now. We sometimes get her comfortable with special shoeing and then something happens and she has a setback, each time we think the pain is just going to be for a little while and then she will be well. But now she is again suffering and with the pain meds and special boots she can barely walk, and now I see that her back legs are sore now too, arthritis? Add to this my husband being laid off last April with no job in site, our ranch is up for sale but no one is even coming to look at it yet alone buy it. I can't afford to spend lots of money for arthritis injections as well as special shoeing. My head says its time to put her down, but my heart just cries when I think of it. But I cry when I watch her walk with the pain too.
Typing this out has in itself been helpful, I have tried to make her well. Maybe this is a time to" accept what I cannot change"
Lindalee,
well no wonder you are stressed out! This is all a lot for one person to be faced with, especially all at once. Your avoidance behavior is understandable, and as another overstressed female who sometimes has trouble driving, I completely understand what you are going through.
Even when I am at my best there are certain roads I need to avoid because there are two lanes in the city that merge from the right side, so I need to stay in the middle or left lane, of which there is no shoulder for miles. I just can't handle this, so I avoid this stretch with side roads. I have gone beyond all of my other avoidance behaviors and I feel comfortable living with this one. I think it is just too much for me to handle, and that is ok. It's good to test yourself and know your limits, and you should not get down on yourself about this.
Try to think about what is really so bad about the drive. Is it not having a way out once you are on the road? Remember, there is typically a shoulder on each side... who CARES if you pull over? Knowing that you can is usually enough to get you through! Or, do you just not want to be alone for the drive? Is there a friend who can join you? Your daughter? Either way, try to pinpoint exactly why you don't want to make the drive. I think you are just using it as a way to distract yourself from the tremendous stress you are feeling... and, since you feel trapped by your current situation with the ranch, job and much loved horse, maybe you feel equally as trapped on a road with many other drivers.
Keep sharing your feelings. Releasing them can be very helpful. Searunner and others have given me a lot more hope than when I started and I usually feel better when I share my feelings with others who can sympathize.
well no wonder you are stressed out! This is all a lot for one person to be faced with, especially all at once. Your avoidance behavior is understandable, and as another overstressed female who sometimes has trouble driving, I completely understand what you are going through.
Even when I am at my best there are certain roads I need to avoid because there are two lanes in the city that merge from the right side, so I need to stay in the middle or left lane, of which there is no shoulder for miles. I just can't handle this, so I avoid this stretch with side roads. I have gone beyond all of my other avoidance behaviors and I feel comfortable living with this one. I think it is just too much for me to handle, and that is ok. It's good to test yourself and know your limits, and you should not get down on yourself about this.
Try to think about what is really so bad about the drive. Is it not having a way out once you are on the road? Remember, there is typically a shoulder on each side... who CARES if you pull over? Knowing that you can is usually enough to get you through! Or, do you just not want to be alone for the drive? Is there a friend who can join you? Your daughter? Either way, try to pinpoint exactly why you don't want to make the drive. I think you are just using it as a way to distract yourself from the tremendous stress you are feeling... and, since you feel trapped by your current situation with the ranch, job and much loved horse, maybe you feel equally as trapped on a road with many other drivers.
Keep sharing your feelings. Releasing them can be very helpful. Searunner and others have given me a lot more hope than when I started and I usually feel better when I share my feelings with others who can sympathize.
Lindalee, I felt the need to talk to you as a fellow horse lover/ owner. We have a Farrier business, 30 years.
Has your horse foundered? most 25 year old horses have that as a issue. Many times its from a varity of reasons. Keep in mind, 25 years is a good life for a horse. I'm sure he had a great home and great care to live that many years. Many times thier hind limbs are effected as thier fronts are so sore. It sounds like you have been handling it with shoeing and meds. They do have flare ups, and to keep them comfortable is the best you can try for. When it does not stabilize and get to the comfort stage, putting them down is the kindest thing to do. When the cost of shoeing is a factor, sometimes horses do OK in a laminitic/ founder situation if you pull the shoes, have them trimmed (with leaving a little foot/ not trimmed too short, bed them down with deep sawdust or deep sand as it helps them find a comfortable angle and gives them extra padding.)
Spending more money many times does not change anything. Lots is in the "heart" of the horse. Does the horse seam like he has more bad day than good days? We have had to let several of ours go. Its such a sad thing, and breakes your heart. But I do feel that letting them go is a real act of kindness.
One step at a time. Slow your thinking down, and focus on one issue at a time. Life has a way of sending multiples, and we do get though them. Take it slowly! Keep with your program, it will help you deal with things better.
Has your horse foundered? most 25 year old horses have that as a issue. Many times its from a varity of reasons. Keep in mind, 25 years is a good life for a horse. I'm sure he had a great home and great care to live that many years. Many times thier hind limbs are effected as thier fronts are so sore. It sounds like you have been handling it with shoeing and meds. They do have flare ups, and to keep them comfortable is the best you can try for. When it does not stabilize and get to the comfort stage, putting them down is the kindest thing to do. When the cost of shoeing is a factor, sometimes horses do OK in a laminitic/ founder situation if you pull the shoes, have them trimmed (with leaving a little foot/ not trimmed too short, bed them down with deep sawdust or deep sand as it helps them find a comfortable angle and gives them extra padding.)
Spending more money many times does not change anything. Lots is in the "heart" of the horse. Does the horse seam like he has more bad day than good days? We have had to let several of ours go. Its such a sad thing, and breakes your heart. But I do feel that letting them go is a real act of kindness.
One step at a time. Slow your thinking down, and focus on one issue at a time. Life has a way of sending multiples, and we do get though them. Take it slowly! Keep with your program, it will help you deal with things better.
Hi all -
I guess I've been MIA. I didn't realize that it's been over a week since I last posted! Reading through all the posts since I last checked in I can see that a lot has been going on.
My week went pretty good. I got in my full twenty hours of work from home plus got in an additional four hours at the office. My goal for last week and this coming week is 25 hours, but I'm pleased that I made it to 24. On one of the days I got three hours straight at the office, something I wasn't expecting at all. Especially since I put the hours in during the late afternoon when traffic is getting really congested, which always makes me more uncomfortable.
On a side note, I noticed that started the last paragraph with " pretty good." After reading what I wrote, I was about to change the sentence to read "very good". But I thought it was a good lesson to remind myself how often I sell myself short. I see a lot of other folks on the site do that as well. We accomplish so much and give ourselves so little credit. When will we learn that it's okay to praise ourselves? We work so hard just trying to survive, let alone live, and yet it's often so difficult for us to recognize all our success. I suppose it goes back to our initial expectations and irrational all or nothing thinking where if we think if we aren't "completely cured" then somehow we've failed. I'll get off my soapbox now and continue on, LOL.
I've made a number of good drives both in the car and on my motorcycle and continue to push my limits. While I often had high anxiety or even began panicking, I handled myself well and was able to calm myself. I also have been pushing the distance I am riding on my bicycle and am enjoying more freedom with that as well.
Last night I went to my parents with my partner for dinner. It's about a thirty minute drive and I had a lot of anticipatory anxiety. In fact I nearly canceled. But like always, my fears were way out of proportion to reality. Yes, I felt anxious at times, but I did just fine, just like I always do. I got really uncomfortable for portions of the drive but I survived and managed my anxiety the best I could. Sooner or later my brain is going to have to learn that I am fully capable of dealing with a panic attack. I suppose this is where the rise, exposure, and repetition come in. I have to keep showing myself that my fears are not based in reality and I am safe wherever I go and whoever I'm with, including being alone.
I'm glad to see all the new posts and hope everyone else is finding some joy in your lives. It's so frustrating that while there are usually outside circumstances, most of our anxiety is self induced. We have so much potential and it's such a waste of time an energy to spend it afraid, worried, and fearing tomorrow.
All my best,
Jamie
I guess I've been MIA. I didn't realize that it's been over a week since I last posted! Reading through all the posts since I last checked in I can see that a lot has been going on.
My week went pretty good. I got in my full twenty hours of work from home plus got in an additional four hours at the office. My goal for last week and this coming week is 25 hours, but I'm pleased that I made it to 24. On one of the days I got three hours straight at the office, something I wasn't expecting at all. Especially since I put the hours in during the late afternoon when traffic is getting really congested, which always makes me more uncomfortable.
On a side note, I noticed that started the last paragraph with " pretty good." After reading what I wrote, I was about to change the sentence to read "very good". But I thought it was a good lesson to remind myself how often I sell myself short. I see a lot of other folks on the site do that as well. We accomplish so much and give ourselves so little credit. When will we learn that it's okay to praise ourselves? We work so hard just trying to survive, let alone live, and yet it's often so difficult for us to recognize all our success. I suppose it goes back to our initial expectations and irrational all or nothing thinking where if we think if we aren't "completely cured" then somehow we've failed. I'll get off my soapbox now and continue on, LOL.
I've made a number of good drives both in the car and on my motorcycle and continue to push my limits. While I often had high anxiety or even began panicking, I handled myself well and was able to calm myself. I also have been pushing the distance I am riding on my bicycle and am enjoying more freedom with that as well.
Last night I went to my parents with my partner for dinner. It's about a thirty minute drive and I had a lot of anticipatory anxiety. In fact I nearly canceled. But like always, my fears were way out of proportion to reality. Yes, I felt anxious at times, but I did just fine, just like I always do. I got really uncomfortable for portions of the drive but I survived and managed my anxiety the best I could. Sooner or later my brain is going to have to learn that I am fully capable of dealing with a panic attack. I suppose this is where the rise, exposure, and repetition come in. I have to keep showing myself that my fears are not based in reality and I am safe wherever I go and whoever I'm with, including being alone.
I'm glad to see all the new posts and hope everyone else is finding some joy in your lives. It's so frustrating that while there are usually outside circumstances, most of our anxiety is self induced. We have so much potential and it's such a waste of time an energy to spend it afraid, worried, and fearing tomorrow.
All my best,
Jamie
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
SeaRunner, You posted some great post. I stumbled over the humor post, LOL... 
It was great!
I liked the side note on the "pretty good". Good catch and your right that I too, give myself such little credit, much of the time. Nice reminder.
Sounds like you are doing a great job with getting out there and doing your driving, dinner, bike, your pushing through it all!
Keep posting!
It was great!I liked the side note on the "pretty good". Good catch and your right that I too, give myself such little credit, much of the time. Nice reminder.
Sounds like you are doing a great job with getting out there and doing your driving, dinner, bike, your pushing through it all!
Excellent!. I have to keep showing myself that my fears are not based in reality and I am safe wherever I go and whoever I'm with, including being alone.
Keep posting!
I am proud of all you guys! You inspire me. Now I must celebrate!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilTdMxWJVxU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilTdMxWJVxU
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forever young 06
- Posts: 284
- Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 5:19 pm
jillzmind the joy dance was so cute.It feels good to laugh .I am so tired of feeling stuck.my anxiety has gotten worse as of lately and it started with learning a cousin had a serious and wham it has gone to everything anxiety all day long.
I have got out my tapes out and starting to replay just to listen and refresh myself and to hear jackie say when you said it was just a panic attack what a relief, well for me I am on automatic pilot now I don't have to do anything to bring one on.I am on a soap box to searunner but let me say I am proud of you.You are doing so good keep at it you will get there are minds have to finally unlearn this crap I am having a hard time believing I am doing this to myself I guess I think it is automatic and I can't help it so I want to hear lucinda say I can learn to talk positive to myself and I can talk my self out of a panic attack that I do need to learn when the anxiety is building not to add second fear oh well enough I just need to start working on what I have learned
I have got out my tapes out and starting to replay just to listen and refresh myself and to hear jackie say when you said it was just a panic attack what a relief, well for me I am on automatic pilot now I don't have to do anything to bring one on.I am on a soap box to searunner but let me say I am proud of you.You are doing so good keep at it you will get there are minds have to finally unlearn this crap I am having a hard time believing I am doing this to myself I guess I think it is automatic and I can't help it so I want to hear lucinda say I can learn to talk positive to myself and I can talk my self out of a panic attack that I do need to learn when the anxiety is building not to add second fear oh well enough I just need to start working on what I have learned