Music -
Welcome back! I thought we lost you to vacation forever, LOL. Congratulations on your continued success with your dietary changes. I'm extremely impressed that you've been able to keep up with your goals so diligently. And I'm glad that you're seeing a real difference in how your body is reacting to the changes.
I'm glad to hear you're still working on your exercise. I really believe it such a valuable tool to use in our recovery. It's certainly helped me tremendously both in times of crisis and over the long haul.
BTW, have you been able to follow up with WW? I know that was a goal of yours and I was curious how it was going. If it hasn't happened yet, there's always tomorrow.
Jamie
One More Step
I've had two experiences this weekend I'd like to share. On the surface they feel like bad experiences but I'm really trying to train my brain to see them as positive.
In both cases, I went out shopping to stores that are a bit outside my driving comfort zone. I had some anticipatory anxiety while driving to both destinations but didn't start really panicking until I got there and knew I still had to drive all the way home. I suppose I should be learning by now that I don't have to be home to be safe, but that's another topic.
Both times, even though I went through a tremendous amount of anxiety, I still was able to keep myself together enough to drive home. As always, I made it home safely without anything "terrible" happening. As I mentioned earlier, I normally would have seen these as bad experiences that would reinforce my fears and resistance to travel any significant distance from home. But instead, I'm really trying to focus on the fact that I was able to deal with my fears and I survived. I always survive. I need to keep doing these types of things instead of avoiding them. Eventually my stubborn mind will realize that I'm OK and panic is not the end of the world.
On a more humorous note, that is it's humorous to me now, the first shopping trip was to pick up a video game for my partner at an electronics store. Once we were in the store I was going into full blown panic. After what seemed like an eternity we were able to find the game and went to pay.
When we got to the register, the price came up ten dollars more than what the price showed on-line. Of course I'm getting more and more unraveled by the second. My partner was haggling with the clerk who finally agreed to honor the on-line price. This of course required a manager price override, which by this time I grabbed my partner by the shoulders and was nearly screaming "just pay the #$%#$% extra ten dollars!" Fortunately the manager got there quickly and we were out the door shortly and one the way home. I'll tell you, I would have paid a lot more than ten dollars to get out of there faster but in retrospect it was good for me to go through the experience. Oh the things we do for the sake of our anxiety!
Jamie
In both cases, I went out shopping to stores that are a bit outside my driving comfort zone. I had some anticipatory anxiety while driving to both destinations but didn't start really panicking until I got there and knew I still had to drive all the way home. I suppose I should be learning by now that I don't have to be home to be safe, but that's another topic.
Both times, even though I went through a tremendous amount of anxiety, I still was able to keep myself together enough to drive home. As always, I made it home safely without anything "terrible" happening. As I mentioned earlier, I normally would have seen these as bad experiences that would reinforce my fears and resistance to travel any significant distance from home. But instead, I'm really trying to focus on the fact that I was able to deal with my fears and I survived. I always survive. I need to keep doing these types of things instead of avoiding them. Eventually my stubborn mind will realize that I'm OK and panic is not the end of the world.
On a more humorous note, that is it's humorous to me now, the first shopping trip was to pick up a video game for my partner at an electronics store. Once we were in the store I was going into full blown panic. After what seemed like an eternity we were able to find the game and went to pay.
When we got to the register, the price came up ten dollars more than what the price showed on-line. Of course I'm getting more and more unraveled by the second. My partner was haggling with the clerk who finally agreed to honor the on-line price. This of course required a manager price override, which by this time I grabbed my partner by the shoulders and was nearly screaming "just pay the #$%#$% extra ten dollars!" Fortunately the manager got there quickly and we were out the door shortly and one the way home. I'll tell you, I would have paid a lot more than ten dollars to get out of there faster but in retrospect it was good for me to go through the experience. Oh the things we do for the sake of our anxiety!
Jamie
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
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forever young 06
- Posts: 284
- Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 5:19 pm
searunner,
can I relate to your experience. I am so glad you can see humor in it we need to learn to laugh at our self. the good thing you road it out. So funny how you want out right now can't wait but you know we are suppose to let time pass but when I let the panic flash and second fear kicks in the next thought get me out of hear.
I need to get back on the inerstate didn't do it last night it and I am always glad for distractins so I don't have to do it but that doesnot equal recovery when you do nothing guess what you get the same results nothing I want recovery I guess the best thing to do is go back to the same spot at least where I started feeling the most panic and start there and work my way thru it then try to go farther see the thing is what if I can't find another place to turn around. stop it wrong thought isn't it easy to do nothing but shouldn't be an options I am rambling so hope don't bore you to death.
vacations over now back to work wow did this week pass fast hope I can stay positive don't lose my cool stay in the present no future or pass I can do this have done it for 10 yrs
manofmusic how did your work week go
can I relate to your experience. I am so glad you can see humor in it we need to learn to laugh at our self. the good thing you road it out. So funny how you want out right now can't wait but you know we are suppose to let time pass but when I let the panic flash and second fear kicks in the next thought get me out of hear.
I need to get back on the inerstate didn't do it last night it and I am always glad for distractins so I don't have to do it but that doesnot equal recovery when you do nothing guess what you get the same results nothing I want recovery I guess the best thing to do is go back to the same spot at least where I started feeling the most panic and start there and work my way thru it then try to go farther see the thing is what if I can't find another place to turn around. stop it wrong thought isn't it easy to do nothing but shouldn't be an options I am rambling so hope don't bore you to death.
vacations over now back to work wow did this week pass fast hope I can stay positive don't lose my cool stay in the present no future or pass I can do this have done it for 10 yrs
manofmusic how did your work week go
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NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
I can understand the overwhelm. What I do is I just highlight the phrases with diffrent colors and then it doesn't even look overwhelming at all. Its really just a simple mind trick. I also take breaks in between scripts.
I've done the 24 hour thing a few times but with no luck. I was using the affirmations for sleep this whole time and calmed myself before bed but didn't take as much action and I was actually feeling guilt. In one of my scripts it says i write down all my goals and the steps i need to take them. Well i decided to write down my sleep goals with steps. I'm still working on breaking the steps down into smaller and more defined steps but I have put steps like set alarm for 9am every day...get to bed at 1am, relax during the day...and then get to bed at 12:30, 12, 11:30, 11. I did not put how long a step needs to last or anything like that. I'll let you know how that goes and I hope your sleep plan works out too.
Mike
I've done the 24 hour thing a few times but with no luck. I was using the affirmations for sleep this whole time and calmed myself before bed but didn't take as much action and I was actually feeling guilt. In one of my scripts it says i write down all my goals and the steps i need to take them. Well i decided to write down my sleep goals with steps. I'm still working on breaking the steps down into smaller and more defined steps but I have put steps like set alarm for 9am every day...get to bed at 1am, relax during the day...and then get to bed at 12:30, 12, 11:30, 11. I did not put how long a step needs to last or anything like that. I'll let you know how that goes and I hope your sleep plan works out too.
Mike
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
FY06 -
I think you really summed up the crux of the issue of recovery quite nicely with your statement that nothing begets nothing. That is, if we don't try, if we don't take risks, we shouldn't expect to get very far. Medication can help somewhat, but to truly recover, we have to be willing to face our fears and get through them. It's the only way we can really teach ourselves that we have the ability to survive anxiety and panic and that we are already in control. It's a very hard lesson to learn, but without it we stay stagnant with little room for growth. Keep in mind that I'm saying this while in the same position as most people on this site; afraid an unsure.
Best of luck to you with your interstate driving. That's a tough one and as you know one that I struggle with too. Have faith that you can get through it. You always have in the past and you always will in the future.
Jamie
I think you really summed up the crux of the issue of recovery quite nicely with your statement that nothing begets nothing. That is, if we don't try, if we don't take risks, we shouldn't expect to get very far. Medication can help somewhat, but to truly recover, we have to be willing to face our fears and get through them. It's the only way we can really teach ourselves that we have the ability to survive anxiety and panic and that we are already in control. It's a very hard lesson to learn, but without it we stay stagnant with little room for growth. Keep in mind that I'm saying this while in the same position as most people on this site; afraid an unsure.
Best of luck to you with your interstate driving. That's a tough one and as you know one that I struggle with too. Have faith that you can get through it. You always have in the past and you always will in the future.
Jamie
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
Ninja -
My limited sleep plan didn't pan out so well last night. Even with keeping my sleep to a minimum and a short nap, I still had trouble going to sleep last night and woke up after only a few hours. I may end up trying to stay up 24 hours.
I'm a a bit discouraged that it didn't work for you. I fear that even if I stay up, when it comes time to go to sleep I won't be able. I tend to get very anxious when I'm extremely tired. So I can envision being panicky by the time I need to go to sleep, which would make sleep all but impossible.
Perhaps a more gradual change like you've laid out is more appropriate. I bought a book called "I Can Make you Sleep" by Paul McKenna and he recommends such an approach. I have yet to make a go of it though. Although his suggestion is to get up earlier by 30 minutes each day or week rather than go to bed earlier. I get so little quality sleep as it is that I'm tentative to let go of any of it at this point. But I suppose that a sacrifice in the short run for major gains in the long is worth the pain.
Jamie
My limited sleep plan didn't pan out so well last night. Even with keeping my sleep to a minimum and a short nap, I still had trouble going to sleep last night and woke up after only a few hours. I may end up trying to stay up 24 hours.
I'm a a bit discouraged that it didn't work for you. I fear that even if I stay up, when it comes time to go to sleep I won't be able. I tend to get very anxious when I'm extremely tired. So I can envision being panicky by the time I need to go to sleep, which would make sleep all but impossible.
Perhaps a more gradual change like you've laid out is more appropriate. I bought a book called "I Can Make you Sleep" by Paul McKenna and he recommends such an approach. I have yet to make a go of it though. Although his suggestion is to get up earlier by 30 minutes each day or week rather than go to bed earlier. I get so little quality sleep as it is that I'm tentative to let go of any of it at this point. But I suppose that a sacrifice in the short run for major gains in the long is worth the pain.
Jamie
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
Thank you Sea Runner. I made some huge strides this weekend (continued with a vacation with my boyfried... I am a 28 yr old female by the way) even though I was completely consumed with the breathing obsession. After a few days I actually began to forget about it (which has of course always happened in the past, eventually). This time it began to pass faster than it ever has.
I feel a little anxious now, thinking it will keep coming back. My fear is that I will force myself to do it wrong, and I don't want to pass out, that is too scary. I don't want to say 'what if', but sometimes I think that way. I am afraid I will subconciously hate myself so much or try to punish myself for WHATEVER reason by doing it wrong! Why am I fearing this?
It is getting better and I continue to use the tools Lucinda taught me. I ate a lot over vacation for 3 days and since I am in wonderful physical shape, I feel so guilty about indulging! I think this kind of thinking is also giving me some anxiety because I really have OCD about working out and clean healthy eating.
But why do I fear I will hurt myself with my breathing?
I feel a little anxious now, thinking it will keep coming back. My fear is that I will force myself to do it wrong, and I don't want to pass out, that is too scary. I don't want to say 'what if', but sometimes I think that way. I am afraid I will subconciously hate myself so much or try to punish myself for WHATEVER reason by doing it wrong! Why am I fearing this?
It is getting better and I continue to use the tools Lucinda taught me. I ate a lot over vacation for 3 days and since I am in wonderful physical shape, I feel so guilty about indulging! I think this kind of thinking is also giving me some anxiety because I really have OCD about working out and clean healthy eating.
But why do I fear I will hurt myself with my breathing?
Thank you, I am feeling mush better esp. with good sleep, for the most part. You too will find one day its not a problem. Don't pressure your self, your body clock will reset it self in time, with out pressure. Nature will take its coarse. 
Yes it is a process, but as Lucinda says "how bad do you want it?" I do want it. I have struggled for years and I have to help myself. It does take one more weapon away from the anxeiety!
I pictured myself walking around with a ball bat, beating myself up, wondering why I feel bad! That one struck home with me.
You did very well with your driving, give yourself a pat on the back. I lived in Portland for 11 years I know how crazy traffic it in your area. Good for you!
I can't practice that kind of driving around here. Its nothing like it. Even when I think of where I used to drive, over the Freemont Bridge ect... I wonder how I ever did that. My enviroment is much more relaxed, where I now live, but I still have some driving issues that I have been working on, esp. when I have to drive into Cleveland, where I dr. & dentist. I'm doing much better as I do drive in the construction zones, and all the orange barrel stuff we have all summer long.
You did GOOD!!!!
Yes it is a process, but as Lucinda says "how bad do you want it?" I do want it. I have struggled for years and I have to help myself. It does take one more weapon away from the anxeiety!
I pictured myself walking around with a ball bat, beating myself up, wondering why I feel bad! That one struck home with me.
You did very well with your driving, give yourself a pat on the back. I lived in Portland for 11 years I know how crazy traffic it in your area. Good for you!
I can't practice that kind of driving around here. Its nothing like it. Even when I think of where I used to drive, over the Freemont Bridge ect... I wonder how I ever did that. My enviroment is much more relaxed, where I now live, but I still have some driving issues that I have been working on, esp. when I have to drive into Cleveland, where I dr. & dentist. I'm doing much better as I do drive in the construction zones, and all the orange barrel stuff we have all summer long.
You did GOOD!!!!
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NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
Sorry it didn't work out well for you. I also get extremely anxious when i'm extremely tired. I was able to go to sleep when i wanted to but to keep the sleep pattern did not work for me.
I agree that waking up earlier is going to help you out more than trying to force yourself to get to bed earlier. Also keep telling yourself every night that it will be alright whatever outcome you get weather you move forward or follow through with your old habit. You can handle it you may just feel uncomfortable the same way you have been all the other times you got to bed late. You also have coping skills to handle the anxiety that comes with that tiredness (even if it doesn't take it completely away).
Perhaps the guilt script i wrote out will come in handy for you...I will post it tomorrow in my affirmation script thread.
By the way from what I hear Paul McKenna is really good when it comes to self-hypnosis.
Mike
I agree that waking up earlier is going to help you out more than trying to force yourself to get to bed earlier. Also keep telling yourself every night that it will be alright whatever outcome you get weather you move forward or follow through with your old habit. You can handle it you may just feel uncomfortable the same way you have been all the other times you got to bed late. You also have coping skills to handle the anxiety that comes with that tiredness (even if it doesn't take it completely away).
Perhaps the guilt script i wrote out will come in handy for you...I will post it tomorrow in my affirmation script thread.
By the way from what I hear Paul McKenna is really good when it comes to self-hypnosis.
Mike
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
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NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
Oi...i forgot a really important affirmation for sleep that you might wanna add to the ones you got.
I get very good quality sleep every night, I wake up refreshed and excited about the day ahead of me.
Mike
I get very good quality sleep every night, I wake up refreshed and excited about the day ahead of me.
Mike
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/