Sticky, Icky Anxiety Producing Situation -- Support?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Mar 29, 2008 12:51 pm

PS I will never forget the look on my 3 little brothers faces as I came in from work one evening and they stood there like stair-steps and big eyes looking a me-"Where is Mamaw." "She has her suitcase on her bed and it is packed." I ask-where's Dad? they don't know. Then Mom comes in-she had gone out for things she needed to take with her so she wouldn't have to take his toothpaste-etc. and it was then she told us-and it makes me bawl to this day. She tells me I need to stay with the boys and that Dad would be home soon. Those 3 little boys are grown now-they hate that woman just like I do to this day.But they aren't as suttle as I am.
After I tell you all this and you still want that man-more power to you-you deserve him and he you- but I see through you my friend and I guess you are in for a life lesson.I can think of loads of other stuff to put on this post but I am tired now.
Man I wish I hadn't even read your post!
Turn the page...........
DEB

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Mar 29, 2008 2:53 pm

I have NO respect for her at all-but she doesn't know that-that way I bide my time until the day I get to tell her what a stinking excuse for a human being she really is!

I have a hard time figuring you for an adult. You say your hididng your feelings until when?for what? & you buy her x-mas gifts then make fun of her. Extreamly CHILDISH!
Listen holding a grudge & stuffing stuff is why most of us are here to learn not to do that. You are bitter and no one will be the better for it in the end. No One!

I wish you hadn't read the post either.
Poetic justice has nothing to do with your troubled mind. I wish you would read your reply and ponder did I just try & help someone or did I just show my true colors?????????

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Mar 29, 2008 4:59 pm

May be but who are you to judge me-you didn't live it-or aren't living it yet-I just tried to show you what you might have to look F too-and by the way-I hate Emerson. UGH- I haven't done anything to you-You on the other hand should have kept your sick post private/tell a friend/don't tell the world-you could have PMd somebody-if I am sick-your sick. I will ignore your posts from now on-glad you read mine tho-
Peachy isn't it?
Deb

had enough · Post by **had enough** » Sun Mar 30, 2008 3:23 am

Yes, I lived it and so much more but my step mother was already fat when my dad married her for compainionship only (mutual arrangement..as my father died at 57 from cancer still deeply in love with my mother but respecting his companion who died 3 years after him). It was my beautiful mother who left my dad when I was 9 for a man that could make her happy because due to a war injury my father couldn't take her dancing anymore & so on. She, now 72 & her marriage of 30 + years brought her happiness for a few years but her husband is now a desperately sad drunk...see what goes around... Emmerson has nothing to do with it peaches, especially this quote which replies so perfectly here. If I were not ill I wouldn't be here your right. So go on & ignore posts from those that are not afraid to speak their mind as you felt so completely free to do.
Always interesting to talk to someone who dances to a different drummer.
Have a good day Deb.

rapidrabbit11 · Post by **rapidrabbit11** » Sun Mar 30, 2008 2:08 pm

Has anyone gotten to the session where we are supposed to be LESS AFFECTED and more EFFECTIVE?

Good grief!

Lilsismj posted on here because she KNEW she was in a tough situation...she has anxiety/depression/both/whatever and she wanted perspective from people who suffer with the same issues. No one on these boards needs condemnation...we ALL make or have made poor choices at one time or another!

That being said, lilsismj, been there, done that (not an affair so much as those feelings). What I relate to is when you said "AFTER" he told you. My anxiety and associated issues make me jump towards attachment and fantasy because of my needs to (1) not be alone, (2) have someone pay attention to me, and (3) fill in my "gaps" so to speak. None of that is real or full-time. It always looks better when we are friends...our limited time together matches up so perfectly. I bet if you looked a little deeper you would see that the alignment is more superficial than you imagine.

Also the other thing you said that caught my attention is that your friend has many of the characteristics that you desire in a man...I am guessing, if we are being honest, that leaving YOU and your kids for another woman would not be one of those characteristics...right?

I understand that you are friends, but Pandora's box has been opened and you can't put those feelings back. It's not an easy road if you decide to continue working together.

I wish you the best...you deserve better than this though.

Blessings,
Dawn

RMSProwler · Post by **RMSProwler** » Sun Mar 30, 2008 2:58 pm

Dawn,

Thanks you very much. I think you may have hit the nail on the head with your 1-2-3! You're right, and it's exactly what my therapist was trying to get at.

I am lonely. I am scared to death of dating! And, this was something that could feel the gaps in my head and imagination. I think what I do from here, is to deal with that. I know what I am going to do and will continue to do the right thing.

I said in an earlier post, I think that I am anticipating way too much. Ok...now I know i have a serious wall to walk through with my evasion of getting into the dating market. This is a fear that I am going to have to overcome and I believe I can do it.

I have also come to the conclusion, after listening to the "what-if" lesson, taht I just do not want chaos in my life. I don't want it and I am not about to choose it. I know that I might be alittle bit more prone to drama and overreacting than those "normal" folks...but this life is my choice. It's as simple as that.

I am not going to worry about this. I DO want my own partner, my own best friend, my own companion. And if the fear of that has amplified my fantastical imaginings...then I need to and want to deal with it. HOwever, I have not...will not...and am pretty sure could not have an affair.

CarolynEd.Dir. · Post by **CarolynEd.Dir.** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 2:10 am

lilsismj -

GOOD FOR YOU!

You are right, I think, that this situation would cause you a TON of anxiety, stress, and chaos...and you don't need or deserve any of that!

My sister-in-law said something once that made a lot of sense...and I'm changing her context a bit...she said that when we were born we were not ready to walk, but when our minds and our bodies were prepared for it - WE WALKED. And when we were 5 we couldn't drive a car or do advance algrbra (well - bad example there - I STILL can't do advanced algebra - ha ha

), but when our minds and our bodies were prepared for it and ready...we could. The same thing goes for dating...recovery from anxiety...having children (either naturally or by adoption), etc. There is a process to go through on a time table that we can't have total control of like we want to...but when our minds and our bodies are prepared and ready...things will happen.

Good things will happen for you - you sound like such a positive goal-oriented person! (Maybe you don't feel it all the time - but I can read it in your words.) You deserve the best that God has in store for you...don't settle for anything less!!!

Blessings,
Dawn