J Thank you for letting us know you are safe. You are weathering very rough waters and the storm is not over yet. Have you ever gone to Al-Anon meetings? I am thinking they could be very helpfull for you at this time of turmoil. They can help you see that your on the correct path to breaking the cycle of terror your in. Mostly you can just listen and learn and you will learn the similarities of the beast your battleing.
Here is a link that will show meetings and where they are with times.
http://www.new-life-in-recovery.com/alanon_meeting.html
They can and may very well be able to help bring some sunshine into the darkess your feeling.
Do not fret the folks at work, most if they are honest have seen things before. Carry on as you would normally and they will begin to support your battle, You are not as alone in these struggles as we may feel.
You are feeling lonely but be assured your not alone. Wishing you a restfull and productive Sunday J.
Changes, How do we make them?
-
tina martin
- Posts: 792
- Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 9:24 pm
Re: Changes, How do we make them?
Matters will repair themself, they generally do and, surprisingly, we can emerge stronger. Your new, strong Self will let him know where to go with his blame game. When he sees there is no taker of the blame, he'll quit. His M.O. no longer works. Maybe daughter learned a truth and that will cause her to be a stronger person in her own right. Don't you be needy. She'll come around and the relationship will be on more solid ground.
What do you care what they know at the hospital? When I put Freedom in there as a Wonder it has several meanings one of which is to be free of anxieties concerning others. I know this hypersensitivity to others. It's a misery. We need to get rid of it. The reality is that others are much too preoccupied with themself to give a _ _ _ _ about you. Give your attention and energy to the work. Praise yourself for sticking with the job and the work. Here's a toast to you. Cheers.
What do you care what they know at the hospital? When I put Freedom in there as a Wonder it has several meanings one of which is to be free of anxieties concerning others. I know this hypersensitivity to others. It's a misery. We need to get rid of it. The reality is that others are much too preoccupied with themself to give a _ _ _ _ about you. Give your attention and energy to the work. Praise yourself for sticking with the job and the work. Here's a toast to you. Cheers.
Re: Changes, How do we make them?
A tip about building self esteem.
I know it's hard sometimes to think positively. I have a tip for
you today, I hope it helps you change the way you think.
I often find that when I have a real challenge in my life or a
major decision that I have to be careful to not let fear in and
stay positive. many ask me "how can I think positively?"
To answer this - start asking yourself the how and stop the why
not inside you.
Let me explain..When you want something or need to do something
challenging start asking yourself "How can I do that? How can I
change that?" rather than focusing on the why nots.
Why nots are the reasons why something is difficult or what you
see as obstacles. Change your focus to possibilities rather than
difficulties. Your whole outlook will change.
Remember in any situation and whatever you face in your life you
are not without hope, you do not start from zero. Before you tell
yourself that it is too difficult, go through the advantages you
have. The truth is that you have a lot, even though you may tell
yourself otherwise.
So my message to you this week is this - to start thinking
positively, start with the positives and then ask yourself how
you can build on them.
I know it's hard sometimes to think positively. I have a tip for
you today, I hope it helps you change the way you think.
I often find that when I have a real challenge in my life or a
major decision that I have to be careful to not let fear in and
stay positive. many ask me "how can I think positively?"
To answer this - start asking yourself the how and stop the why
not inside you.
Let me explain..When you want something or need to do something
challenging start asking yourself "How can I do that? How can I
change that?" rather than focusing on the why nots.
Why nots are the reasons why something is difficult or what you
see as obstacles. Change your focus to possibilities rather than
difficulties. Your whole outlook will change.
Remember in any situation and whatever you face in your life you
are not without hope, you do not start from zero. Before you tell
yourself that it is too difficult, go through the advantages you
have. The truth is that you have a lot, even though you may tell
yourself otherwise.
So my message to you this week is this - to start thinking
positively, start with the positives and then ask yourself how
you can build on them.
Re: Changes, How do we make them?
Here are some quotes I dug up, ways we can change and why's of why we should change.
Identity is who you are. Image is how you are viewed by others. Both influence the choices that you make but identity offers much greater longer term rewards. Whenever possible, base your key life decisions on the person that you are.
"You can’t just flip a switch and become someone else.”
“That’s what you do, that isn’t who you are.”
“The problem with living in a small town is everyone thinks they know who you are.”
“A weed is a plant out of place.”
“Only something fake could work 100% of the time.
“What I do is all that concerns me, not what the people think.”
“You can’t stop being who you are because you’re afraid.”
“If you stay in one place long enough, you become that place.
"It doesn't matter how this looks to other people. If this is something that you got to do, then you do it."
Identity is who you are. Image is how you are viewed by others. Both influence the choices that you make but identity offers much greater longer term rewards. Whenever possible, base your key life decisions on the person that you are.
"You can’t just flip a switch and become someone else.”
“That’s what you do, that isn’t who you are.”
“The problem with living in a small town is everyone thinks they know who you are.”
“A weed is a plant out of place.”
“Only something fake could work 100% of the time.
“What I do is all that concerns me, not what the people think.”
“You can’t stop being who you are because you’re afraid.”
“If you stay in one place long enough, you become that place.
"It doesn't matter how this looks to other people. If this is something that you got to do, then you do it."
Re: Changes, How do we make them?
Conflict
“It’s funny how virtuous a man can be when he’s helpless.”
“It’s funny how virtuous a man can be when he’s helpless.”
Re: Changes, How do we make them?
Thank you Tina and W. for your replies. They were actually extremely helpful.
The tools/information that I am going to take away and utilize just for me today are:
I am not going to accept blame. That is being hurdled my way by many, and I am simply not going to even acknowledge that word. Period. Period again.
I will wait for my daughter to talk to me, and when she does, I will tell her that this matter is between her parents, and does not concern her. She needs to only worry about herself and her life, and I can worry about my own life.
In the mean time I will be working with the mother/daughter team that I hired all day today, to clean out my storage facility.
Work is good. Work feels good.
Love,
Me.
PS
I have already used the quote: "a helpless man is a virtuous man" today. He didn't get it, but I did. It's a wonderful quote and can be applied to women too. I am not helpless. I will help myself.
Have a good one, and I can't wait to see the moon tonight.
The tools/information that I am going to take away and utilize just for me today are:
I am not going to accept blame. That is being hurdled my way by many, and I am simply not going to even acknowledge that word. Period. Period again.
I will wait for my daughter to talk to me, and when she does, I will tell her that this matter is between her parents, and does not concern her. She needs to only worry about herself and her life, and I can worry about my own life.
In the mean time I will be working with the mother/daughter team that I hired all day today, to clean out my storage facility.
Work is good. Work feels good.
Love,
Me.
PS
I have already used the quote: "a helpless man is a virtuous man" today. He didn't get it, but I did. It's a wonderful quote and can be applied to women too. I am not helpless. I will help myself.
Have a good one, and I can't wait to see the moon tonight.
Re: Changes, How do we make them?
J, I had a great clear night to see the supermoon. As I researched what is a supermoon I found that it was the closest distance to the Earth, moon of the year. Last time it was this close was in 2008. Approx 260,000 miles
So is the storage unit all inventoried and on it's way out the door? I must say I don't envy a task like that at all. I have been thinking about having a Auction at the house, to get rid of most everything. It is amazeing the crap we can accumulate or at least I can. I am running out of space to move around.
Going to spend the day around the yard cleaning up winter.
So is the storage unit all inventoried and on it's way out the door? I must say I don't envy a task like that at all. I have been thinking about having a Auction at the house, to get rid of most everything. It is amazeing the crap we can accumulate or at least I can. I am running out of space to move around.
Going to spend the day around the yard cleaning up winter.
Re: Changes, How do we make them?
Yes, the Supermoon was so amazing. I photographed it, and it was so bright!!!! I loved it.
The storage units are all inventoried because when the movers came to move me from my home 4 or 5 years ago, they packed everything and it is all in boxes. What I have in my condo now is from the house in Nantucket. I just came from the storage facility and we are moving along. It is quite a project. They open the boxes and unwrap everything and haul it off and sell it all on ebay. I just sort through the things to decide what I want to keep. (not much I want to keep, just old dolls that my daughter wants and pictures and family mementos)
I'm working tonight from midnight-8am. I am nervous about working that shift all alone, but I am grateful I have a job and I am grateful we all have a roof over our heads and are safe from the devastation surrounding our country on both sides. (Japan and Libya)
Marilyn is so very worried about the toxic gasses that might arrive in her state from Japan.
I am counting my blessings.
~Peace to you and enjoy the robins. They are out today. Snow is in the forecast for tomorrow.
The storage units are all inventoried because when the movers came to move me from my home 4 or 5 years ago, they packed everything and it is all in boxes. What I have in my condo now is from the house in Nantucket. I just came from the storage facility and we are moving along. It is quite a project. They open the boxes and unwrap everything and haul it off and sell it all on ebay. I just sort through the things to decide what I want to keep. (not much I want to keep, just old dolls that my daughter wants and pictures and family mementos)
I'm working tonight from midnight-8am. I am nervous about working that shift all alone, but I am grateful I have a job and I am grateful we all have a roof over our heads and are safe from the devastation surrounding our country on both sides. (Japan and Libya)
Marilyn is so very worried about the toxic gasses that might arrive in her state from Japan.
I am counting my blessings.
~Peace to you and enjoy the robins. They are out today. Snow is in the forecast for tomorrow.
-
Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
Re: Changes, How do we make them?
I was too sick to check out the Supermoon, although I heard from local news that clouds hid it somewhat, but they got good pics of it. I hope to be around when it shows up again.
That must be very hard to go through your things in the storage facility, but I'm proud of you for moving forward on that. I have to go through things too, and I'm frozen on that project right now.
What happened to Japan is totally surreal. I have to watch footage of what happened when it comes on 60 minutes or such shows, because it is so shocking. I heard that one guy from a local area was there working, but was able to leave and get back to the U.S.. He said he'll return later when it is safe. That is when I question, what is safe? Who would have thought that the earthquake would affect Brookings, Oregon's harbor or Delmar or Santa Cruz in California. Totally amazing the strength.
So what is really safe, as we never know what Mother Nature can bring when we least expect it. So I guess the plan is to be as prepared as possible, and then trust that all will work out for the best.
I hope you are able to get the rest you need while working your night shift work. Best Wishes, sent your way! Paislee
That must be very hard to go through your things in the storage facility, but I'm proud of you for moving forward on that. I have to go through things too, and I'm frozen on that project right now.
What happened to Japan is totally surreal. I have to watch footage of what happened when it comes on 60 minutes or such shows, because it is so shocking. I heard that one guy from a local area was there working, but was able to leave and get back to the U.S.. He said he'll return later when it is safe. That is when I question, what is safe? Who would have thought that the earthquake would affect Brookings, Oregon's harbor or Delmar or Santa Cruz in California. Totally amazing the strength.
So what is really safe, as we never know what Mother Nature can bring when we least expect it. So I guess the plan is to be as prepared as possible, and then trust that all will work out for the best.
I hope you are able to get the rest you need while working your night shift work. Best Wishes, sent your way! Paislee
Re: Changes, How do we make them?
Hi All,
Today I ran around changing the batteries in all of my smoke detectors, only to learn that it wasn't the smoke detectors making all of the noise, the chirping was from the ROBINS outside my window!!
Spring is here.
Love,
J.
Today I ran around changing the batteries in all of my smoke detectors, only to learn that it wasn't the smoke detectors making all of the noise, the chirping was from the ROBINS outside my window!!
Spring is here.
Love,
J.