Rose:
That was beautiful! And I know it is true!!
I think that PleaseHelp will be so glad to read that because she'll know now that others have made it through!
Bless you!!!
Mary Jane
Extreme Anxiety (11 weeks postpartum)
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Guest
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Guest
Dear Pleasehelp:
I'm going to take a big risk here and first offer my sincere support to you. You have 4 children (all are babies). You just had an infant 11 weeks ago and are raising all your children by yourself. That alone is anxiety provoking. You are post partum right now, experiencing lots of hormonal changes. The kids are out of school and are home all day with you. That is a big deal for any mom let alone someone doing it by herself. I give you so much credit and you need to give yourself credit for making it through each and every day with this responsibility. Are you exhausted? How is the baby sleeping at night?
Secondly, I was a postpartum nurse for years and the push was on to breastfeed. Breastfeeding is very good for babies no doubt...but it has to be good for the mom as well. If pumping is causing you any discomfort emotionally and physically, it is OK to feed your baby formula. I know this might not sit well with others out there, but your mental health is so important to the outcome of your baby and your children. I read your note and it you mentioned something about not being able to breastfeed directly...I don't know what your anxiety is all about, but reading your post tells me that there is an issue with all this pumping. I think you should talk to your OB about this, I agree with all the support you have received on line here....post partum depression is temporary but needs attention.
I too hope you don't take offense to this reply, but I just want you to know that I have witnessed many women who for whatever reason, was not able to breastfeed and their guilt was overwhelming. If you choose to continue to pump, that is great...but if you do not want to continue for your own personal reasons....know that lots and lots of kids were fed formula and have grown up healthy and happy. Whatever you choose to do is fine,,,but please make your decision based on what is good for you as well. Your emotional and physical wellbeing is just as important. Please talk to someone like your OB and take really good care of yourself.
Perhaps family members can help you out with your other children? That would allow you to rest and restore and enjoy your new baby.
I'll keep you in my prayers. What you are going through is temporary...you'll be OK.
Sincerely,
Lynn
I'm going to take a big risk here and first offer my sincere support to you. You have 4 children (all are babies). You just had an infant 11 weeks ago and are raising all your children by yourself. That alone is anxiety provoking. You are post partum right now, experiencing lots of hormonal changes. The kids are out of school and are home all day with you. That is a big deal for any mom let alone someone doing it by herself. I give you so much credit and you need to give yourself credit for making it through each and every day with this responsibility. Are you exhausted? How is the baby sleeping at night?
Secondly, I was a postpartum nurse for years and the push was on to breastfeed. Breastfeeding is very good for babies no doubt...but it has to be good for the mom as well. If pumping is causing you any discomfort emotionally and physically, it is OK to feed your baby formula. I know this might not sit well with others out there, but your mental health is so important to the outcome of your baby and your children. I read your note and it you mentioned something about not being able to breastfeed directly...I don't know what your anxiety is all about, but reading your post tells me that there is an issue with all this pumping. I think you should talk to your OB about this, I agree with all the support you have received on line here....post partum depression is temporary but needs attention.
I too hope you don't take offense to this reply, but I just want you to know that I have witnessed many women who for whatever reason, was not able to breastfeed and their guilt was overwhelming. If you choose to continue to pump, that is great...but if you do not want to continue for your own personal reasons....know that lots and lots of kids were fed formula and have grown up healthy and happy. Whatever you choose to do is fine,,,but please make your decision based on what is good for you as well. Your emotional and physical wellbeing is just as important. Please talk to someone like your OB and take really good care of yourself.
Perhaps family members can help you out with your other children? That would allow you to rest and restore and enjoy your new baby.
I'll keep you in my prayers. What you are going through is temporary...you'll be OK.
Sincerely,
Lynn
I'm so sorry you're going through all this. I had a ton of trouble after my daughter was born too. Not as much with my 2nd.
However, since then I've gone through periods where I just felt like ANYTHING would set me off. I had trouble with eating and drinking and sleeping as well.
I had trouble with worrying about what was in the food I was eating, etc etc.
I had trouble with being afraid of meds as well. I'm like you. . .it's not the social thing it's just my fear of the side effects.
I'm doing so much better. You can get better.
Between doing a program (I have done this one as well as another one by Liebgold with a coach) and trying to exercise more and eat more healthy, it is very manageable.
I still have my bad days but I'm not FREAKING OUT every single day.
The biggest thing for me was finally absolutely deciding that I'm NOT crazy and that I WON'T feel like this forever. When I start feeling that "boo voice" now, I do relaxing breathing and redirect to something soothing. At first I felt like I had to do it every 5 minutes all day long, but after awhile the thoughts came less often.
I'm still having times especially around my period when I get more emotional, but I'm so much better than I was.
Keep coming here for support and maybe find an older wiser person to speak to when you're having a bad day. That helped me a lot.
However, since then I've gone through periods where I just felt like ANYTHING would set me off. I had trouble with eating and drinking and sleeping as well.
I had trouble with worrying about what was in the food I was eating, etc etc.
I had trouble with being afraid of meds as well. I'm like you. . .it's not the social thing it's just my fear of the side effects.
I'm doing so much better. You can get better.
Between doing a program (I have done this one as well as another one by Liebgold with a coach) and trying to exercise more and eat more healthy, it is very manageable.
I still have my bad days but I'm not FREAKING OUT every single day.
The biggest thing for me was finally absolutely deciding that I'm NOT crazy and that I WON'T feel like this forever. When I start feeling that "boo voice" now, I do relaxing breathing and redirect to something soothing. At first I felt like I had to do it every 5 minutes all day long, but after awhile the thoughts came less often.
I'm still having times especially around my period when I get more emotional, but I'm so much better than I was.
Keep coming here for support and maybe find an older wiser person to speak to when you're having a bad day. That helped me a lot.
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Guest
P.S. I also found that trying to keep my blood sugar stable helps. Eat more protein and fresh fruits and veggies and whole grains and snacks in between on nuts and cheese helps. Cut out as much processed sugar, caffeine, and refined carbs as you can.
It does help except I got OCD on the eating for awhile so now I have finally found a balance. But I do notice if I'm eating junk I'm more susceptible to anxiety so I try to eat healthy and drink my water.
And of course, eating healthy is good for everyone no matter who you are.
It does help except I got OCD on the eating for awhile so now I have finally found a balance. But I do notice if I'm eating junk I'm more susceptible to anxiety so I try to eat healthy and drink my water.
And of course, eating healthy is good for everyone no matter who you are.
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Guest
I remember when I was pregnant with my first child, toward the end of the pregnancy I developed preecalmpsia. I was able to carry my baby to term, but the following Monday I had to go in for a check up and low and behold, my blood pressure was so high the doctor admitted me to the hospital right then and there overnight. I was in tears and so frightened. I just had my precious baby and I was certain I was going to die from a stroke. I was glad they put me back in the maternity ward where my husband brought our baby to me so I could nurse her. But, for MONTHS I worried about something bad happening to me and leaving my baby. I was so attached to her and I couldn't bear the thought of being without her.
Things went better during my second pregnancy, but this one turned out breach, so I had to get a C-section. Things seemed better after, but of course I was just exhausted and a little depressed out of guilt for needing the C-section. I felt my baby was gyped from the birth process. My doctor didn't think I had post partum depression so my feelings were dismissed. I think I did ok.
Then, my third. I almost lost him in the first trimester. I had a subchorionic hematoma with him and everyday I said my prayers that we would get through it. My prayers were answered and I delivered him by C-section, this time by choice out of fear that the hematoma weakened my uterus and something dreadful might happen. At first things were fine, but then after awhile I just kept feeling as if my body was falling a part. I was just so tired, I had heart palpitations out the ying/yang, which prompted my doctor to send me for an echo. Everything checked out fine. Somehow I got on top of it, but then this year back in March, my grandmother, who raised me, died. She died of congestive heart failure (we all think it was a clot because it happened so suddenly) and her death was rather a surprise. I felt my world being pulled out from under my feet and I just kept falling. Because she died of heart problems, I just knew my recent pounding heart, palpitations, tachycardia and so forth meant I was following suit. I had to call 911 once because it was so bad, but everything checked out fine. Later, I developed chest pains (which I think was due to lifting my son -- I have a small frame and it was a lot on me, but no, it had to be heart related). I went to the hospital and through the EKGs, blood work, X-ray, everything was fine. I continued to have such intense anxiety and panic, but somehow I got through the heart thing (BTW, I DO have MVP), and now I am worried about my brain and MS (my mother and father both have/had it). Just recently I started having burning sensations in my head and thought I was about to have a stroke or seizure. I went to the ER where they did a CAT scan and all was fine. Yet, like you, I am not totally convinced. And, all the doctors I have seen have put me on meds. I actually started off with 50 mg of Zoloft and it wasn't for me. I was then put on Paxil by a psychiatrist and it wasn't for me. I then decided to go at this alone. I can't afford the program, which I hate because I read Lucinda's book FROM PANIC TO POWER and it was great! I started following my shrink's advice about trying to think health and wellness instead of gloom and doom, and I think overall I was starting to get on top of things. Then, this past weekend I had to visit my ailing grandfather and more symptoms came up. I had a pain on the right side of my neck, jaw pain (I do have TMJ), headache, shortness of breath (when going through his stuff in storage) . .. I mean I was sure this was it this time! But, after a few burps, and once I left and headed back home, I felt a little better. That night I just cried myself to sleep and I felt so much better. Now, I am burdoned with more discomfort in my head -- tightness, tingles, numbness -- all on my right side, and I have some discomfort between my lower neck and shoulder bone. Last night I had a burning sensation in my neck (on the right side) and later heaviness in my chest on the right side. Both seemed to be alleviated by burping and changing position, but I am worried. I am a hypochondriac, too, and I just feel again, something is horribly wrong. I believe it is stress coming from the fact my MIL is coming to visit this weekend and we aren't on the best of terms right now (in parial thanks to my husband opening his mouth when he shouldn't have) and I am worried about confrontation and so forth. I am out of my comfort zone and I am anxious. Plus, I am horribly exhausted and I just got my monthly visitor (which I have found my anxiety is worse around "that time" so I think there is something to this hormonal stuff!). Again, I feel like I am falling a part. I have 3 kids that I stay home with -- constantly. I don't get any help and no doubt I need a change of pace.
I feel I am just right there with you on so many levels. I read your post and it touched me so much. I felt in many regards you sounded just like me! I was reassured but felt bad for you at the same time -- why can't anyone identify wth my positive qualities?? ha! Anyway, I just wanted to share my story with you. Please feel free to contact me anytime. Hugs!
Things went better during my second pregnancy, but this one turned out breach, so I had to get a C-section. Things seemed better after, but of course I was just exhausted and a little depressed out of guilt for needing the C-section. I felt my baby was gyped from the birth process. My doctor didn't think I had post partum depression so my feelings were dismissed. I think I did ok.
Then, my third. I almost lost him in the first trimester. I had a subchorionic hematoma with him and everyday I said my prayers that we would get through it. My prayers were answered and I delivered him by C-section, this time by choice out of fear that the hematoma weakened my uterus and something dreadful might happen. At first things were fine, but then after awhile I just kept feeling as if my body was falling a part. I was just so tired, I had heart palpitations out the ying/yang, which prompted my doctor to send me for an echo. Everything checked out fine. Somehow I got on top of it, but then this year back in March, my grandmother, who raised me, died. She died of congestive heart failure (we all think it was a clot because it happened so suddenly) and her death was rather a surprise. I felt my world being pulled out from under my feet and I just kept falling. Because she died of heart problems, I just knew my recent pounding heart, palpitations, tachycardia and so forth meant I was following suit. I had to call 911 once because it was so bad, but everything checked out fine. Later, I developed chest pains (which I think was due to lifting my son -- I have a small frame and it was a lot on me, but no, it had to be heart related). I went to the hospital and through the EKGs, blood work, X-ray, everything was fine. I continued to have such intense anxiety and panic, but somehow I got through the heart thing (BTW, I DO have MVP), and now I am worried about my brain and MS (my mother and father both have/had it). Just recently I started having burning sensations in my head and thought I was about to have a stroke or seizure. I went to the ER where they did a CAT scan and all was fine. Yet, like you, I am not totally convinced. And, all the doctors I have seen have put me on meds. I actually started off with 50 mg of Zoloft and it wasn't for me. I was then put on Paxil by a psychiatrist and it wasn't for me. I then decided to go at this alone. I can't afford the program, which I hate because I read Lucinda's book FROM PANIC TO POWER and it was great! I started following my shrink's advice about trying to think health and wellness instead of gloom and doom, and I think overall I was starting to get on top of things. Then, this past weekend I had to visit my ailing grandfather and more symptoms came up. I had a pain on the right side of my neck, jaw pain (I do have TMJ), headache, shortness of breath (when going through his stuff in storage) . .. I mean I was sure this was it this time! But, after a few burps, and once I left and headed back home, I felt a little better. That night I just cried myself to sleep and I felt so much better. Now, I am burdoned with more discomfort in my head -- tightness, tingles, numbness -- all on my right side, and I have some discomfort between my lower neck and shoulder bone. Last night I had a burning sensation in my neck (on the right side) and later heaviness in my chest on the right side. Both seemed to be alleviated by burping and changing position, but I am worried. I am a hypochondriac, too, and I just feel again, something is horribly wrong. I believe it is stress coming from the fact my MIL is coming to visit this weekend and we aren't on the best of terms right now (in parial thanks to my husband opening his mouth when he shouldn't have) and I am worried about confrontation and so forth. I am out of my comfort zone and I am anxious. Plus, I am horribly exhausted and I just got my monthly visitor (which I have found my anxiety is worse around "that time" so I think there is something to this hormonal stuff!). Again, I feel like I am falling a part. I have 3 kids that I stay home with -- constantly. I don't get any help and no doubt I need a change of pace.
I feel I am just right there with you on so many levels. I read your post and it touched me so much. I felt in many regards you sounded just like me! I was reassured but felt bad for you at the same time -- why can't anyone identify wth my positive qualities?? ha! Anyway, I just wanted to share my story with you. Please feel free to contact me anytime. Hugs!
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Guest
In regards to the pregnancy issue, was wondering if anyone could give me some advice. I got off my meds 4 months ago becuse we are trying to have a baby. I have generalized anxiety and did well for several months without the meds., then the last few weeks have been bad. I continue to have obessive thoughts and anxiety about being pregnant, will I be a good parent and how will I work full time and have a child and get everything done that I need to around the house. Did any of you have anxiety pre pragency, or during and how did you deal with this?
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Guest
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Andreadreams
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Wed Nov 08, 2006 1:39 pm
dreaming good -- It sounds as if you have a lot on your plate right now. I am a mother of 3 -- 5 and under -- and personally, I would hold off a bit until you get these other things taken care of. I say that because having a baby is such a life altering event -- it is a positive one, but I think you would enjoy it more if things were running a bit smoothly, especially between you and your hubby. But, it is quite normal to have the concerns you have. It is good to look at everything because having a baby affects everything. Maybe take one situation at a time and see what you can come up with to resolve it or make you feel better about it instead of trying to tackle everything at once. Maybe something like this week work with your husband and see how things can be better there; next week or even next month, work on a plan for childcare when you have to go back to work; and so forth. Take "baby steps". Your anxiety about being a good mother -- that's a toughy. I am a mother and I am still very anxious about that. I have days where I just feel like a complete failure, but then there are days that I feel like I can pat myself on the back. That just never goes away -- I think any good mother worries about being a good mother, does that make sense? Thus, I think you will be a good Mommy. 