This is one of my sources of anxiety as well. While I am only 26, not 30+, I am well into the "everyone's getting married" phase. Seeing "Heather plus guest" on envelopes makes me feel so alone. I have been single so long that I can't even remember what love felt like.
I feel like I'm not included in a lot of events because there's no guy in my life (for example, a couples' trip for Memorial Weekend).
I recognize that I am an attractive girl with a lot going for me. I have a job, own a home, have lots of friends, am flippin' hilarious most of the time... I know that I am a worthwhile person regardless of whether a guy thinks so, but I am so sick of waiting around for "him." I know being in a relationship just creates different issues, but I'm getting so sick of being pitied and often pitying myself.
I read a poem called "Believe It And Be Satisfied" when I was in high school, and it has completely tainted my outlook on love. The poem essentially would suggest that I'm not Christian enough to have had love in my life for the past five years. But my "Christmas-and-Easter-only" friends are blissfully happy in their fresh marriages and long-term relationship. The jealousy is palpable. It leaves me thinking "why not me?"
I have thrown myself 100% into my friends' weddings (I swear the lead character in 27 Dresses is modeled after me!) for reasons I don't fully understand.
If I hear "it will happen eventually" or "so, any boy news?" one more effing time, I may start punching my friends and family.
Have any singles been through this program and found that it helped with this relationship anxiety?
Anyone 30+ (and still single)?
-
Guest
Jani,
I am 45 and still single and I have learned to LOVE IT! For so many years, I was married to my work and that always came first. In my 20-30's - it was one wedding after another. Now in my 40's, it is still weddings! All those people that got married are now divorced and getting remarried!?! I guess what I am getting at is that there is a difference between being alone and being lonely - one is a state of mind and the other is a state of being! Give it time...you are still very young and people wait longer to start families. For me, a am a quasi-Howard Hughes, so it suits me fine! Best wishes!
I am 45 and still single and I have learned to LOVE IT! For so many years, I was married to my work and that always came first. In my 20-30's - it was one wedding after another. Now in my 40's, it is still weddings! All those people that got married are now divorced and getting remarried!?! I guess what I am getting at is that there is a difference between being alone and being lonely - one is a state of mind and the other is a state of being! Give it time...you are still very young and people wait longer to start families. For me, a am a quasi-Howard Hughes, so it suits me fine! Best wishes!