Mssgr,
You feel you will never be normal? Guess what?
We are normal. Only 4% of the population is healthy. The other 96% of us are dysfunctional in some way. So congratulations! You are normal! Now just keep working at accepting yourself and helping yourself be the best, most confident, lovable, loving normal that you can be with or without anyone else.
I have read that we cannot truly love anyone else until we learn to love ourselves. Because then we will have no expectations or limitations on us or them.
One more thing, if he bails, he was not the person you want anyway. So do not worry. If it happens, it happens. And it is not your fault and there is nothing you could do to stop it.
Positive self talk. Remind me, positive self talk.
How will I ever find someone to love me?
Lynnier this is the second post that i have read with you in it and your comments have been so insightful! I have even wrote a lot of them down in my journal so if you could PM me sometime that would be great!!
But Missgsr, I have felt the way you have time and time again and it takes work. My sincere friends have told me to focus on ME, it may seem selfish with us being the kind-hearted people that we are BUT its YOU time, you have to better yourself before you can be in a relationship with someone of your caliber. So try to focus on things that will make you a better person and a good man will come to you when God feels it the right time for you and in the meantime you will gain such insight on yourself. I am only 23 but when i would talk to guys i would think i was so "mature, and ready, and knew what I was talking about" but I was SO naive and I realized that now while I am single. The only thing I was truly ready for was being Ready to learn just HOW to be a good woman for the rightful man I deserve. So i consider this anxiety and this program as a plus, because it has opened up my eyes in so many ways and I hope it does the same for you. So it may be hard, and some days may get lonely, but in time that will pass too and something good will come to you JUST when you were not looking for it and LEAST expecting it. I beleive so....
But Missgsr, I have felt the way you have time and time again and it takes work. My sincere friends have told me to focus on ME, it may seem selfish with us being the kind-hearted people that we are BUT its YOU time, you have to better yourself before you can be in a relationship with someone of your caliber. So try to focus on things that will make you a better person and a good man will come to you when God feels it the right time for you and in the meantime you will gain such insight on yourself. I am only 23 but when i would talk to guys i would think i was so "mature, and ready, and knew what I was talking about" but I was SO naive and I realized that now while I am single. The only thing I was truly ready for was being Ready to learn just HOW to be a good woman for the rightful man I deserve. So i consider this anxiety and this program as a plus, because it has opened up my eyes in so many ways and I hope it does the same for you. So it may be hard, and some days may get lonely, but in time that will pass too and something good will come to you JUST when you were not looking for it and LEAST expecting it. I beleive so....
Perhaps you should tell your boyfriend about your condition. Do you think you have increased anxiety with him being afraid he may see you in an anxious situation? Let him know and talk about it, if he is a great guy worth continuing to see he will understand.
Note: Male perspective answering this quesiton that has a loving understanding supportive girlfriend that has been there everytime during my course with anxiety.
Note: Male perspective answering this quesiton that has a loving understanding supportive girlfriend that has been there everytime during my course with anxiety.
I did talk to him about it...he knows. He says he feels uncomfortable when we're together and I'm having anxiety. I feel like he just doesn't want to deal with it.Originally posted by doozyj:
Perhaps you should tell your boyfriend about your condition. Do you think you have increased anxiety with him being afraid he may see you in an anxious situation?
"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose." -Dr. Seuss
You can steer yourself any direction you choose." -Dr. Seuss
The recurrent statement is that it's time to work on you, Missgsr. That's so true. Like many others, I had come to the point that I gave up on meeting anyone worthwhile. Also, like many others, I had put up with some totally terrible men.
It was when I reached the point that I was mostly content with myself, and with the way my life is, that I met someone special.
It hasn't always been easy, but it has been worthwhile. I've heard repeatedly that the only true way to love another is by loving and accepting yourself first. That puts you in a position to be open to them and their needs.
Also, don't look for someone. When the time is right, you'll meet the person who is perfect for you, and it will probably happen when you least expect it.
~Lynnier
It was when I reached the point that I was mostly content with myself, and with the way my life is, that I met someone special.
It hasn't always been easy, but it has been worthwhile. I've heard repeatedly that the only true way to love another is by loving and accepting yourself first. That puts you in a position to be open to them and their needs.
Also, don't look for someone. When the time is right, you'll meet the person who is perfect for you, and it will probably happen when you least expect it.
~Lynnier