I'm afraid to even start!

Runningchick93 · Post by **Runningchick93** » Fri Mar 20, 2009 4:12 am

Lenore - You're story is very inspirational to me right now. I've got severe panic and depression (due to the panic). I have agoraphobia and it's a struggle to step out of the house to even go into my back yard. I've been to doctors and had EEGs done to see if I have seizures and EKGs to see if it was an issue with my heart. All tests are normal. Yet I feel so bad and scared all of the time. The panic attacks come in different forms each time. Some times I get adrenaline rushes. Other times I just get the overwhelming feeling that I'm going to die. Other times I just sit and cry. I don't leave home without my husband. I'm 38 yrs old and used to be independent with a strong career. I also used to run everyday and look forward to 5K races. Now I feel like I can't do anything and even leaving the bed is scary most days. Being alone is also scary. I got this program thinking that it could help along with the therapy I'm going through with my psychologist. Though right now I'm a bit like you were in 'trying to prove the program wrong'

. HaHa. I want it to work but am afraid that it can't help someone as bad off as I am...someone who is afraid to leave home or the bed most of the time. Someone who gets overstimulated by watching tv at certain moments even.

I had these same spells in 1997/1998 and again in 2002. It's hard for me to remember if they were that bad back then. My husband says that my behavior is the exact same now that it was then. This time, however, it seems must worse to me. Maybe because I'm older now.

Like you also I am seeing a psychiatrist who said that if things didn't get better we may look at inpatient care...that scared me.

S.B. · Post by **S.B.** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 5:32 am

I, too, have been suffering with anxiety since I was 36 (four years ago). It's interesting that others on the forum mentioned beginning their battle around the same age as myself. In my case, my anxiety was triggered by a traumatic life experience. At the time, I was at a place in my life where responsibility, raising two young children, managing finances, etc., was at a high point. I have always found that my symptoms subside when I am away from home and family. For me, my anxiety is directly tied to the overwhelming responsibility I feel I have in my life. Before my anxiety problems began, I willingly took on challenges and responsibilities, and always felt strong and confident. Since the anxiety, my responsibilities overwhelm me, and I often decline new opportunities for fear that I will be further overwhelmed. The notion "afraid to even start" has come to define many of the choices I have made over the past four years.
It is comforting to learn of other peoples' struggles and eventual recovery. I will tune in regularly.

newrunner · Post by **newrunner** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 6:09 am

I'm sorry that you all are having a hard time. I read your stuff and I can remember feeling some of the same things as you guys. But- I don't feel it now. Because of the program, and exercise and a good diet. And because of a book called "Freedom from Fear" by Dr. Howard Leibgold. It is complementary to the StressCenter.com, and says much of the same stuff but in different words.

I pray that you all keep on going, keeping track of all your victories along the way.
The adrenaline is a normal body substance and won't hurt you. Just let it be.

melissaandnoodle · Post by **melissaandnoodle** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 2:50 pm

Wow...I read this and I am so in the same place. I received the kit in the mail over a month ago now, but I'm afraid to start. Its almost like I'm afraid for anything to change. As weird as that is I think on some level we all get 'used to' out anxiety/stress/panic/etc and find some delusional comfort in it. When I have good days so to speak, I panic because I don't think I should ever feel good. This is so strange for me even to type. I don't know how many times I called to get the kit and hung up. Everytime I saw info on tv about it, I almost cried, because I relate to all these people. I finally knew I wasn't going through my own problems all alone. I really want to start, but I am also so reluctant. Hopefully we can both make that first step. I hope you feel better that you are not the only one feeling this way. We have both made one step- joining the online forum and getting the program. I think with these disorders, every single small step counts!

Mrs A · Post by **Mrs A** » Thu Mar 26, 2009 1:05 am

I bought this program over a year ago, I listened to the first 2 CD's & then never continued I wanted to use it in conjunction with my counseling I was in at the time, but my counseling was going so well I didn't think to use it. So, here I am, not in counseling & finding myself having trouble with some of the same issues I started off with. I believe this program can help me get back on track, I just don't seem to have the oomf to get started. I used to be afraid to start anything because I had no idea what positive change felt like. I just stayed in my little circle of continuous chaos because that is all I knew. I hope to find what I am looking for with this program along with the guidance of my faith. That is what helped me learn to empower myself along with my counseling. But as I realize, I am not always in complete control & I allow myself, again, to become distracted, depressed & anxious over life's matters & not pull in on the reigns & get in control of what I can be in control of. I tend to give up very easily. I am a person who needs guidance & structure until I can completely take over by myself with that full confidence I need & want. I only got half way & then turned around & ran back to the beginning!

alta · Post by **alta** » Thu Mar 26, 2009 4:15 am

Hi I have been suffering with anxitey and depression since I was about 10 or younger I had a bad spell back in 1998 and I seen Attacking Anxitey and Depression and ordered it but really haven't worked the program, just can't seem to get myself motivated to start.
I've got it out when I am down and out what what I do read seems to help but just have hard time sticking with it.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Mar 26, 2009 4:27 am

Alta...I pray that you do the program...It has so many life changing skills...You have no idea how blessed you are to have the program..There are many out there who cannot afford it...God blessed it to help get my life back, after 21 years of agoraphobia, and living in a panic attack..
You are worth the effort...God Bless

alta · Post by **alta** » Fri Mar 27, 2009 10:25 am

Ms.T Bones,
Thank you for your input I really appreceate it.
I started working on the program today.I know it's not going to be easy to start with and I pray I can stick with it this time.

God Bless
And thank you

Jennifier · Post by **Jennifier** » Fri Mar 27, 2009 10:36 am

Alta...You can do anything in this life, if you set your mind to do it...Nothing is too hard...I know that you can..God Bless

TerriW · Post by **TerriW** » Fri Apr 10, 2009 9:20 am

I think the hardest part about starting is knowing that you have to go through the symptoms in order to get better. I have had the tapes since 1992 (in fact, they helped get me through Hurricane Andrew back then) and I'm considering re-starting them, because I have been having increased anxiety again since the death of my dad in 2002 (and the family feuding that resulted during that time, which left me estranged from my sister and her family) and the onset of perimenopause. My husband recently retired and it kind of sent me into a tailspin as if there's no excitement in the future for me anymore. I'm 50 and it feels like it's "over". I just want to get my life back on track so I can look forward to something. Can anyone relate to that or is it just me being selfish and immature?