Wow, this is exactly what I needed to read today. I wanted to post about this topic, but didn't know where without hijacking someone else's post.
Since all you guys are well versed in dealing with defensive people and having to stand up for yourself, maybe you guys can help me as well.
HELP ANYONE? Any Advice on how to work out our differences or expectations of each other? Paislee
Defensive people
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
Re: Defensive people
Last edited by Paisleegreen on Sat Apr 02, 2011 8:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Defensive people
Not to be cold or rude, just the facts.
1st thing, make sure you have CYA insurance on the place and you. One should not have too but this is 2011 and lawyers are hungry for anything that moves.
I would ask her what her intent is with a witness and lay out the facts. Give her a day or so then implement a action that will secure her wellbeing and moving towards moving on. Do not let her make you feel guilty. Do not put yourselves in being obligated. This is just my thoughts so pick and choose as wanted. There is a reason the guy checked out, was she part of it? Who knows? Be cautious and be shall I say, use a kind of tough love for her best interests while being careful to not add her issues to your familys best health.
Maybe this will relate and maybe not, P with the unclosed posistion your in due to your son taking his life as this Ladys DH taking his, You may want to share with your Dr. or counsler. Yes you can relate to her pain allthough neither of you are safely and secure out of the fog yet. I worry you could be enabled by her.
Give it to God and pray for the best avenue to follow. Good luck.
1st thing, make sure you have CYA insurance on the place and you. One should not have too but this is 2011 and lawyers are hungry for anything that moves.
I would ask her what her intent is with a witness and lay out the facts. Give her a day or so then implement a action that will secure her wellbeing and moving towards moving on. Do not let her make you feel guilty. Do not put yourselves in being obligated. This is just my thoughts so pick and choose as wanted. There is a reason the guy checked out, was she part of it? Who knows? Be cautious and be shall I say, use a kind of tough love for her best interests while being careful to not add her issues to your familys best health.
Maybe this will relate and maybe not, P with the unclosed posistion your in due to your son taking his life as this Ladys DH taking his, You may want to share with your Dr. or counsler. Yes you can relate to her pain allthough neither of you are safely and secure out of the fog yet. I worry you could be enabled by her.
Give it to God and pray for the best avenue to follow. Good luck.
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tina martin
- Posts: 792
- Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 9:24 pm
Re: Defensive people
This is why R will get the Self Help Award on the Web. His analysis is terrific. All I could think was, "What a Catch-22."
Did she ever work? Could she possibly find a job?
Did she ever work? Could she possibly find a job?
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
Re: Defensive people
OH, thank you guys so much for replying. I'm going to send this to let you know that I'm working on my answer.
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
Re: Defensive people
Well, just as R said, we need to do something legally and probably will in the future.
Thanks to all of you. R and T! Paislee
Thanks to all of you. R and T! Paislee
Last edited by Paisleegreen on Sat Apr 02, 2011 8:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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tina martin
- Posts: 792
- Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 9:24 pm
Re: Defensive people
To someone who craves simplicity, this situation would cause me stress.
Last edited by tina martin on Sat Apr 02, 2011 10:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.