Wow! JudeKitty, what you wrote was exactly what I needed to hear! Just so you know, I was feeling the same way! I began a new job, one that demands me to be well, in my mind, perfect. Or at least, at the top of my game. So I had one of my lowest points on Friday (feeling like I really failed) but needed to get my home and dinner ready for Christmas Eve with my family-something I live for! But I got stressed about how I barely pulled it together and was really tense before and somewhat during (even though it was awesome-it went well). I was happy last night.
Then today, it was my Mom's turn. I went there and was so tense and irritable, I felt all the things you said. I tried not to think about it, and to not talk about issues, but I felt funky too. Told myself it is not the last one, but I didn't believe it until you said it!
I need Christmas-I used to go to church-our pastor who is retired made the holiday so holy for me-I need that. So, I decided that I will continue to celebrate-after all the 12 days of Christmas is just beginning! Maybe you can try that too-throw a party (I am thinking about it) and be with friends-go to church even ( I think I will too). Thank you for your post-even if it seems I am rambling, you really did make a difference to me!
Depressed On Christmas Day?
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Guest
Hi Nirelandguy
I can relate to what you are saying. This was not a very good christmas for me, but....I have to thank the expection tape for getting me through it. Everything took a lot of effort and struggle this christmas...when i felt it coming on I immediately listened to my expection tape..... my partner and I called off our christmas night get together with family and friends at our home. I did not have a gift under the tree from my partner, even though I took the time out from a busy schedule to buy him gifts. I own a flower shop and christmas is a very stressful holiday for me. Don't get me wrong I do not give to receive. I realized that my partner was having a bad time, he was depressed and I understood. I am able to organize and plan..he is not....but I did not react like I normally would have. I pulled out my tools from the expection tape, though I was a bit sad and quiet...I realized that nothing is perfect, and I started to think of all the things I am grateful for. I was grateful that we were together...we spent christmas eve with my parents, my 2 sons, cousins, we visited family the next day and spend the rest of christmas day with my parents. My parents are in their 80's and that alone is a big thing to be grateful for, not receiving gifts. I have 2 healthy sons, thank god, and everything was OK. I am also grateful for having the tools to have made it a better christmas then it would have been had I not had the tools. I spoke to one of my designers on christmas day, she was sobbing as she left the cemetery where her 19 year old daughter was buried 8 months ago... that is something to be sad about. I know how it feels to just cry at the drop of a hat. I guess what I am trying to say is that we have the tools to help ourselves, thank god for this program...we have to be strong and positive to conquer our anxiety and depression. Sometimes I fall off the track as you did on Christmas, and I do feel your pain, but we have to pick ourselves back up and use the tools that we have been given, change the way we are thinking, and try to think of all the things we have to be grateful for. I hope you are feeling better Hang in there
Sincerly
Gene
I can relate to what you are saying. This was not a very good christmas for me, but....I have to thank the expection tape for getting me through it. Everything took a lot of effort and struggle this christmas...when i felt it coming on I immediately listened to my expection tape..... my partner and I called off our christmas night get together with family and friends at our home. I did not have a gift under the tree from my partner, even though I took the time out from a busy schedule to buy him gifts. I own a flower shop and christmas is a very stressful holiday for me. Don't get me wrong I do not give to receive. I realized that my partner was having a bad time, he was depressed and I understood. I am able to organize and plan..he is not....but I did not react like I normally would have. I pulled out my tools from the expection tape, though I was a bit sad and quiet...I realized that nothing is perfect, and I started to think of all the things I am grateful for. I was grateful that we were together...we spent christmas eve with my parents, my 2 sons, cousins, we visited family the next day and spend the rest of christmas day with my parents. My parents are in their 80's and that alone is a big thing to be grateful for, not receiving gifts. I have 2 healthy sons, thank god, and everything was OK. I am also grateful for having the tools to have made it a better christmas then it would have been had I not had the tools. I spoke to one of my designers on christmas day, she was sobbing as she left the cemetery where her 19 year old daughter was buried 8 months ago... that is something to be sad about. I know how it feels to just cry at the drop of a hat. I guess what I am trying to say is that we have the tools to help ourselves, thank god for this program...we have to be strong and positive to conquer our anxiety and depression. Sometimes I fall off the track as you did on Christmas, and I do feel your pain, but we have to pick ourselves back up and use the tools that we have been given, change the way we are thinking, and try to think of all the things we have to be grateful for. I hope you are feeling better Hang in there
Sincerly
Gene
Originally posted by NIRELANDGUY:
Had to happen really didn't it, The happiest day of the year and I wake up depressed. I don't mean to bring any of you's down today I am just hoping someone can relate or offer some advice.
When I opened my eyes this morning I just felt like crying, I remembered its Christmas day and I just didn't care, I have heard of people being depressed around christmas because they are lonly or what ever, I am far from it, I have a wife and 2 kids.
I got up and watched the kids opening there presents and was smiling away but it near killed me to smile, behind that smile all I wanted to do was burst into tears for no apparant reason, I haven't been depressed in quite a while and i'm baffled as to why it has happened today.
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Guest
I'm feeling much better now, But that was the worst Christmas day I have ever had, I often have growth spurts, it just happen that this one landed on Christmas day. But yesterday I decided to go shopping and bought Lucinda's book "Life without limits" amongest other things and I feel so much better now, Sad to say but I'm just glad its over
yes me too I slept until 6pm., surprized that you wrote that!!
"O God, you are my God. Earnestly I seek you;my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is BETTER than life,my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name, I will lift up my hands." Psalms 63
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Guest
Good for you, Gene! You sound like you have such a sweet heart! Thanks for the inspiration this morning!Originally posted by GeneJr:
I pulled out my tools from the expection tape, though I was a bit sad and quiet...I realized that nothing is perfect, and I started to think of all the things I am grateful for.
Best,
Dawn