Post
by seadog » Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:50 am
Hi,
I'm sorry you are having a hard time right now, and I feel like I could say more but don't have the time so I wanted to say one thing that could help:).
YOU ARE NOT YOUR ANXIETY:). Anxiety is just a feeling that passes through you. I know you don't feel like you are functioning the same way you used to, but that doesn't mean that you are not you:). Just like if you got the flu or cancer or something and couldn't go to work, etc., you would still be you. You may have to undergo some changes to deal with your illness, but you would still be you.
That seems to really help me deal with anxiety. It's not who I am, but it is something that I have to deal with at time and that passes through me. You probably are experiencing the dominant emotion of anxiety right now, but I bet that you really don't stay completely stuck there even right now. It's just impossible to stay in that state forever. You're not going to get stuck.
I can't take medicine either because of the side effects, and I have had to exercise, do this program, go to therapy, and read tons of Christian self-help books:). I know that about two years ago, I just started to accept that this was what it was going to be like. Low and behold, when I just started to accept and love myself and know that I still had value no matter what in God's eyes, it seems that I experienced a surge of healing. You will get better:). It will take time and work, but you will get better:). It takes some of us longer than others to heal, but that's O.K. too. You're just starting your journey:). There's a saying, "Reach up to God as far as you can and He will reach down the rest." That may be more or less depending on the circumstances, but God has compassion and He will meet you on your journey.
You're not crazy. You are just having the symptoms of anxiety. Yes, there are people who don't understand, especially in the medical field. I feel like I just got a lesson about this lately. In the past I have been mistreated by the medical profession for my anxiety symptoms. It's inexcusable in a sense because you really do need support and love. Acceptance and love are really the keys to counteracting a lot of anxiety. We do need psychological help because we are in pain with our anxiety. We do need to rule out medical possibilities, and we are right to seek help from the medical field until we rule out those possibilities. At the same time, I was watching the movie "Atonement" this past weekend. It graphically showed the war wounds of soldiers from World War II. All of the sudden, I just got it. I could see how a nurse in an ER who deals with people with their sculls bashed in or organs rearranged, may not have the patience to deal with me and my anxiety. They must of looked at me like whatever. I really did have a hard time with xanax that wasn't diagnosed at first. I was basically having withdrawal symptoms that were horrendous, and the ER physicians could only see that I had anxiety. They didn't know my premorbid functioning, etc. When they compared my symptoms to those who have ripped skin, etc., they just weren't the ones to see it. Eventually, it was diagnosed, but it was horrible to go through that without validation. I really was in an awful situation and in pain, but the ER doctors just couldn't see it in comparison to those who were actually going to die, etc. That's good though, because we aren't going to die:). If we were, they would be the first to notice:). Anyway, they are trained to deal with obvious life threatening physical problems. It doesn't mean that we don't need help for our anxiety, and that it's never O.K. to go to the ER, but anxiety is our messenger that something psychological is going on and it just comes out physically for the most part. Nurses and Doctors who work in the ER do so because they want to work with severe trauma patients, and not people with anxiety. So, when I feel mistreated by these people, I just think that it's not because I'm this horrible crazy anxiety patient. It's because they aren't really the best people for me to get help from because that's not really what they are trained for.
Your behavior has changed, but it's just a part of who you are, it's not WHO you are:).
Hope something in here helps. I did write for a while didn't I?
Take Care,
luvpiggy
