How to forget the past?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Mar 12, 2008 6:31 am

Ocean,
I apologize,, i didnt realize i was posting nationally ALL heat related deaths, including adults..
by the way, i also found only 12 states have laws against leaving your kids in the car... And Ohio isnt one of them ocean, so i think i would appeal this case. these are the 12 states that do.

A22: Twelve states have laws protecting children left unattended in cars. The states with this legislation are: California , Connecticut , Florida , Illinois , Louisiana , Maryland , Nebraska , Nevada, Pennsylvania , Tennessee (Effective July 1, 2007), Texas , and Washington.
Maybe just to get this off your record! thank you for explaining the rest of your story, i was assuming the children you left in the car were very young children also... Take care Nelly:)

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Mar 12, 2008 6:55 am

Mello Nello,
Thanks for replying! That was one thing that surprised me too, that there is no law. In fact, if Ohio HAD a law, the charge would not be as severe as child endangering, it would be some type of lower misdemeanor. Actually in one state that has a law, it's just a $25 fine. That's it! If the cop had given me a warning, then I obviously would never have done it again. I was told that he was a new cop and another cop is the one that told him to charge me via pager. I'm wondering if maybe this was one of his first real "busts" so it was like practice for him and that's why the other cop told him to charge me. Who knows!

Thanks, I'll keep you updated if I decide to try and get this thing reversed and thrown out.

J.O. · Post by **J.O.** » Wed Mar 12, 2008 6:57 am

Ocean.. sorry to hear about your ordeal... did you have an attorney?

I looks like it would be best to consult a good one at least for the advise of what can be over-turned or appealed or another other process that the law can offer. This particularly would be a good place to start right now while it only has been a short time since the entry of your plea bargain.... There is a statute of limitations ... a time limit on asserting claims. You may be able to sue the City or State...

I am an attorney... something does not add up here...

It would be best to take care of yourself by hiring an attorney that is willing to fight for you.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Mar 12, 2008 7:18 am

Enlightened,
Thank you for responding! I called a lawyer last fall originally and he just sounded very slimy. And he wouldn't tell me ballpark figure of cost, just said that it would be $300 up front. Then another one that I called wouldn't talk to me unless I first paid him $40.
Is this typical? Maybe it is, I don't know.

I'll see about calling around. I wondered about the time limit too. I think I'm afraid that instead of reversing it, they will decide instead to go with the original charge and convict me of Child endangering and throw me into jail for 6 months. My mom told me that she would get everyone that she knows to picket the jail then =)

Thanks again!
Take care

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Wed Mar 12, 2008 7:24 am

My first reaction to this was that you were at fault. We were always taught here that never, under any circumstances, should you leave any child in the car for any amount of time. Of course looking at what Mellow wrote, I'm one of the states where it is against the law...so maybe it is just over enforced here. However, no matter where you are from that gives no right for those people to treat you like you were publically beating your kids or something. If it were me, I would appeal. I think the biggest issue (if it were me) was the fact that I knew I wasn't wrong, yet I had to plea that way. THAT above anything else would eat me up. Since you don't want to do that, I think you should focus on the forgiveness aspect then. Try to put yourself in the ladies shoes who called or even the cops shoes. Maybe both had bad experiences themselves with something similar that made them react the way they did. I also think you should take your time with this...trying to force yourself to get over it and to get over it quickly will only prolong the issue. It is like when you can't sleep...the more you try to do it, the less likely you are to actually fall asleep. Fact is you were hurt...and it hurt your kids. 5 months may seem long, but not enough time to heal. Be kind to yourself...and NEVER give up on your dreams. They are still attainable! *hugs*

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Mar 12, 2008 7:33 am

"Marvel not, my brethren if the world hate you." 1 John 3:13
Growing up in a small town I could never understand why the police would constantly hassle me. I was always kind and respectfull to them until I did a little time. I learned that if you show kindness or evan the smallest amount of respect they have been trained to see that as guilt. I stopped being nice and havent had so much as a speeding tickit in 12 years. You have to remember these guys get lied to all day long, why would they think you were telling telling the truth. If you get in thier face (verbally of course) they'll stop thinking about what they think you did, and start worrieng about what you might do. Not all cops are bad people, unfortunatly the ones we notice are. Show no fear to the wolves, dont let them bring you down. Its a lot easier to pay a fine or sit a little time when your in the right, much easier then it is to rebuild your self-respect after letting them walk all over you. Be strong and stand up for yourself becous that is the kind of person you are.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Mar 12, 2008 7:37 am

Tammy,
Thanks for replying! You're right, I had no idea that leaving a kid in a car was looked down upon if it was for a few minutes. My parents left us in the car all the time (and my mom said that her parents used to leave them for an hour at a time if they had to do alot of shopping).
The officer told me that I was about the 20 person in a month that had been arrested for the same thing (but the only one not taken to jail, so I'm wondering if the others were due to hot weather or for a long period of time). Which is why I asked the PD for help in distributing info about the consequences in that town. I'm planning to go to the PD and ask to talk with the Police Chief in person and tell him that if it's a widespread problem that requires attention.

In this town, woman an abuse cocaine while pregnant and even when the newborn tests positive, no charges are filed and the baby is sent HOME with the woman! If she couldn't stop during pregnancy, do you really think she'll stop now? Isn't that child endangering? To let a helpless newborn go home with a drug user? Apparently, the police aren't concerned.
take care!

crayzikat · Post by **crayzikat** » Wed Mar 12, 2008 7:41 am

Firebug,
Thanks for replying! I must admit that I bawled like a baby when he told me that he was charging me with child endangering. And he left me there crying and let me drive the 8 miles to my house without offering at least an escort. I very easily could have crashed my van in my state of shock!
That's interesting about by being kind to them, they think you are guilty! Absurd that they would do that, but I'm sure that you are right... I definitely have issues with cops now and I don't feel safe around them, actually very frightened and upset.
Take care!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Mar 12, 2008 8:00 am

Ocean...

If it's one thing I've learned in my short life thus far is that trying to understand the rules and laws and why they do or don't enforce them is next to impossible. They seem to let what I would think its a worse problem go, and then nit pick on the tiny ones. Social Services is an organization I will never understand. I have a friend who is desperately trying to make her situation better for her and her kids and they are holding her back...telling her she can't get a job, etc. Yep...she's not allowed to get a job..tell me how she is going to better herself w/o one? On the flip side, my fiance was in a house for a flood loss job where the kids weren't fed and dirty and the mom was always drunk...yes social services continually gives the kids back to her. I just don't understand it.

At any rate, I wish you the best in the world. Maybe this move in June will help things for you.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Mar 12, 2008 8:29 am

I feel for you. I cannot imagine the anxiety and guilt this has caused you. I leave my children in the car often to run into the dry cleaners of post office, for only a few minutes at a time. I am well aware of the dangers and my children are not infants, nor do I do it when it's hot or very cold outside. I too am not a big fan of cops. My mother, who is 78 years old was arrested by a cop about 3 years ago because she weaved when she pulled into a parking lot. She too suffers from anxiety and depression and is a very nervous person. He made her do a field test (imagine a 75 year old woman in broad daylight). He arrested her although she passed the breathalizer and (later the blood alcohol test) because she could not passt the field test. She is shaky and nervous, remember, this is a 78 year old woman we are talking about here! She was terrified and mortified. My dad had to go pick her up, he said the police officer was totaly out of line. He called her quote "a pill pusher". My mother takes anti-depressants and blood pressure meds. That's it! Needless to say, her drivers license was taken away for a time and she had to get a doctors note to re-apply for it. She was terrified to drive after that and hasn't driven since. Her depression got much worse after that and about a year later she suffered a major breakdown and was hospitalized for it. It was very traumatic. The good news is, she's on different meds now, sees a wonderful therapist that I helped her find and she is doing fantastic. She put it behind her. Had I have had more time and my own wits about me (I was going through post-partum anxiety and depression at the time) I would have hired an atty myself and pressed charges against the officer. I urged my Dad to do so, and he said when he looked into it he found out the officer was no longer on the force. Thank God! Please, at the very least, go to the station and file a formal complaint against the officer. I used to date a cop (I'm ashamed to say sometimes) and they actually do take formal complaints very seriously. This is inexcusable and I completely agree with everyone that the cops seem to pick on the WRONG people! I too am afraid of them and it should NOT be that way!!!!