I had my first Panic Attack 7 years ago at the age of 40 due to a ligitimate heart problem. The heart issue cleared up but I was left with the Anxiety issue. I went on Meds and for 2 or 3 years was symptom free. I went off the Meds but never had any therapy or anything else and the Anxiety came back.
The funny thing is my wife is very committed to our marriage and has never said anything about leaving. She has always been the very emotional person and I have always had to be there for her. It's all in my head about her leaving and I don't know if I actually think she'll leave but that I think this will get so bad that I'll end up on the street and loose everything. I have 2 children ages 14 and 9 and sometimes I'll catastrophise and see them in my head without a father.
Where does this come from???
Tough day!!!
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cravenhappy
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Wed Feb 27, 2008 9:58 am
John
I know what your saying when you talk about constent thinking as most of us here do it, that's why we allow the Anxiety and or depression win. You need to listen to the relaxation CD/tape and just start over from the beginning. If your thinking about the negative all the time with all the thinking your doing then don't you think you'll brain wash yourself in someway?I know I do and usually it isn't that bad or terrible in the end. I have been that guy and I am determined to not let that guy "WIN" at anything. Sure he may score a few times here and there but as momentum takes over your going to see in the long run how well you will get. It absolutely is about being positive and being able to set aside the "CRAP" that is brought on by whatever. We cannot allow this to beat us cause if it does it will win in th end and then we are back to square one. Try visualizing the positive outcome whether it be having the time of your life with your family or just your wife or better yet yourself. Men tend to be visual thinkers and it can lead them to anywhere they want it to. Your focus isn't directed on the path for which you would want to be living day to day. Remember when you were on the meds to make you feel good and how you felt? Visualize those days and then put yourself back into those types of days. Don't let anyone else bring you down as that will make you feel the way you do. It's not usually a Life or death situation that is making you feel this way it the fact that you preceive it to be. I am fighting to do the program consistently also as I'm sure a few others are but in the end the result will be what you want it to be if you do the work and not think so much. Try watching a funny movie or TV show to make yourself laugh or play with your kids to get your laughter back. The excercise thing is probably the best thing for you and the food you eat. I was a terrible eater and decided to change after a family member had an unfortunate sickness all of a sudden. It made me realize that I need to make some changes or I may potentially have problems down the road so I did. Then about 2 weeks later I saw they info for the program and and called in. It's not a fluke you bought this program it's a sign that you got it because you want to change but you need to do something it can't do it without your help. It's like a well oiled machine and your the oil. The past is the past and your going to leave it there and from now on the future is the new John and he has the power to make it better for him and everyone around him. I was told once that when you get dealt a lemon you need to make lemonade and I think it's time you get started on squeezing that lemon John, it's all about getting better and I know you can do it if you focus your thoughts in that direction. When times are tough at work go for a men's room breal and breathe deeply and think when I get home I'm doing my work for the day and it will be better. Things like that. Good luck and Live your best Life everyday.
I know what your saying when you talk about constent thinking as most of us here do it, that's why we allow the Anxiety and or depression win. You need to listen to the relaxation CD/tape and just start over from the beginning. If your thinking about the negative all the time with all the thinking your doing then don't you think you'll brain wash yourself in someway?I know I do and usually it isn't that bad or terrible in the end. I have been that guy and I am determined to not let that guy "WIN" at anything. Sure he may score a few times here and there but as momentum takes over your going to see in the long run how well you will get. It absolutely is about being positive and being able to set aside the "CRAP" that is brought on by whatever. We cannot allow this to beat us cause if it does it will win in th end and then we are back to square one. Try visualizing the positive outcome whether it be having the time of your life with your family or just your wife or better yet yourself. Men tend to be visual thinkers and it can lead them to anywhere they want it to. Your focus isn't directed on the path for which you would want to be living day to day. Remember when you were on the meds to make you feel good and how you felt? Visualize those days and then put yourself back into those types of days. Don't let anyone else bring you down as that will make you feel the way you do. It's not usually a Life or death situation that is making you feel this way it the fact that you preceive it to be. I am fighting to do the program consistently also as I'm sure a few others are but in the end the result will be what you want it to be if you do the work and not think so much. Try watching a funny movie or TV show to make yourself laugh or play with your kids to get your laughter back. The excercise thing is probably the best thing for you and the food you eat. I was a terrible eater and decided to change after a family member had an unfortunate sickness all of a sudden. It made me realize that I need to make some changes or I may potentially have problems down the road so I did. Then about 2 weeks later I saw they info for the program and and called in. It's not a fluke you bought this program it's a sign that you got it because you want to change but you need to do something it can't do it without your help. It's like a well oiled machine and your the oil. The past is the past and your going to leave it there and from now on the future is the new John and he has the power to make it better for him and everyone around him. I was told once that when you get dealt a lemon you need to make lemonade and I think it's time you get started on squeezing that lemon John, it's all about getting better and I know you can do it if you focus your thoughts in that direction. When times are tough at work go for a men's room breal and breathe deeply and think when I get home I'm doing my work for the day and it will be better. Things like that. Good luck and Live your best Life everyday.
Hi,
John I wouldn't think like that, talk to your wife I bet she is very understanding. I was 19 years old when my husband and I got married and 3 months later my son was born, we weren't actually starting off very well and 9 months after we were married my 1st panic attack. To make a long story short, I had many years of panic, negative thinking and one of those thoughts was my husband is going to leave me because he probably thinks I am losing it, we were so young and I didn't have a clue what was going on and this was in the late 70's and there wasn't too much out there for anxiety. I guess what I am trying to say is 30 years later me and my husband are still together even after all them thoughts I was having, my son is 30 and we are making it, with struggles of course but with good times too.
I'm on session 4 and this morning I woke up feeling a little anxious, I am doing the self talk and the breathing, for some reason that breathing technique doesn't seem to work with me, I tend to hyperventilate with it sometimes, what am I doing wrong? I have to tell myself to relax and slow down and don't fight it.
Good luck to everyone I am going to take on another day, hopefully with minimal anxiety:)
John I wouldn't think like that, talk to your wife I bet she is very understanding. I was 19 years old when my husband and I got married and 3 months later my son was born, we weren't actually starting off very well and 9 months after we were married my 1st panic attack. To make a long story short, I had many years of panic, negative thinking and one of those thoughts was my husband is going to leave me because he probably thinks I am losing it, we were so young and I didn't have a clue what was going on and this was in the late 70's and there wasn't too much out there for anxiety. I guess what I am trying to say is 30 years later me and my husband are still together even after all them thoughts I was having, my son is 30 and we are making it, with struggles of course but with good times too.
I'm on session 4 and this morning I woke up feeling a little anxious, I am doing the self talk and the breathing, for some reason that breathing technique doesn't seem to work with me, I tend to hyperventilate with it sometimes, what am I doing wrong? I have to tell myself to relax and slow down and don't fight it.
Good luck to everyone I am going to take on another day, hopefully with minimal anxiety:)
John, talk to your wife. I was in the same boat, feeling like if I really opened up to my hubby, he would want to leave me, not wanting a "psycho" for a wife. The exact opposite happened. He has been extremely supportive in ways I could never have imagined. YOu never know until you try and isn't it worth it to try?
I intend that I live my life in tranquility and peacefullness, free of unneccesary worries and beliefs.
Hang in there, John! We've all had the "obsessive, scary thoughts", and they are usually not true. I think the fact that you said your wife is committed to the marriage shows that you know deep down she is not going to leave, but your anxiety is playing a wicked game with you. I know that it is hard to stop these thoughts because we may recognize the fact that they are irrational, but it is hard to stop the anxiety and emotions that go along with them. Talk to your wife and tell her your fears. Then, make a committment to yourself and to her to really work at this program. It is only 15 weeks of your life. Maybe she can motivate you to stay on track, too. Just keep in mind that you can do this and the feelings that you are having right now will go away! Sometimes, if I am having anxiety I try to resign myself to it... I'm feeling anxious, it is a horrible feeling, and I just need to wait it out. That's when it usually goes away... Best of luck!
Thanks everyone for the kind replies!
I started today off feeling badly again but I tried the second lesson's suggestion and wrote down my negative thoughts and it did bring some relief. I'm starting on lesson 2 and going from there.
I was driving home from work today and started to have that hollow feeling in my stomach. That is usually how it starts for me and I was able to stop it by switching my thoughts and using self talk.
It's a step in the right direction I think.
We'll see how tomorrow goes, mornings are tough.
I started today off feeling badly again but I tried the second lesson's suggestion and wrote down my negative thoughts and it did bring some relief. I'm starting on lesson 2 and going from there.
I was driving home from work today and started to have that hollow feeling in my stomach. That is usually how it starts for me and I was able to stop it by switching my thoughts and using self talk.
It's a step in the right direction I think.
We'll see how tomorrow goes, mornings are tough.
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Danielle's New Life
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Tue Mar 04, 2008 1:26 pm
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Tiger Lady
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Wed Mar 05, 2008 10:07 am
Hi john61, I am new to this online thing. I am now trying Kickboxing, Yoga, bowling, everything fun and new to take the edge off.
I had to get off certain foods, chocolate, sugars, coffee, tea and soda's that ADD to adrenaline rises in the body. Hopefully you have some nice music to listen to and hurray YOU made it today!!!
I had to get off certain foods, chocolate, sugars, coffee, tea and soda's that ADD to adrenaline rises in the body. Hopefully you have some nice music to listen to and hurray YOU made it today!!!
hey john. i only eat when i get a headache that no ibuprofen will kill, don't know why. you mentioned the altoids. I have a case of the choc.covered cinnamon ones on hand at all times.
In fact i think i like them more than holiday dinners...yeah right like I participate in those anymore...lol
You also spoke of the self talk. i got there & realized how aweful i am to my self in self talk. Now I refuse to speak to myself unless I have something nice to say. i listen to music instead. i think my ears ring because I turn it up loud to drown the neg.thoughts. help line told me that chap. 4 & 12 are so good. did 4 & yes it was good.need to go to 12 & then back to 5....just wanted to reply because of the altoid comment but ramble i do
In fact i think i like them more than holiday dinners...yeah right like I participate in those anymore...lol
You also spoke of the self talk. i got there & realized how aweful i am to my self in self talk. Now I refuse to speak to myself unless I have something nice to say. i listen to music instead. i think my ears ring because I turn it up loud to drown the neg.thoughts. help line told me that chap. 4 & 12 are so good. did 4 & yes it was good.need to go to 12 & then back to 5....just wanted to reply because of the altoid comment but ramble i do
"What lies before us and what lies behind us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." Emmerson