We all have our "gut instincts" or as I often say, "our God voice" in us all. Sure, many times we doubt that voice - that is just the nonsense of anxiety disorder & depress talking. If we hone in on that "God voice" we all have - we learn to truly trust it & consequently, trust ourselves. Then, we will(little by little) do the things ANYWAY - even while both those terrible ailments try to simultaneously convince us <span class="ev_code_RED">not to.</span> The ACT of doing, even if initially there is not desire - fuels the MOTIVATION - it creates it & it is THAT ACT that is the cryptonite TO ANXIETY DISORDER & DEPRESSION.
Some basic recommendations:
1) Work Lucinda's program everyday - follow it as instructed - STRICTLY. Make recovery your #1 priority - make YOU your #1 priority.
2) LET GO & LET GOD - TURN IT ALL OVER TO HIM. By this I mean, talk to him - pray to him - let him know exactly what you're feeling - your concerns - fears - the emotional pain. Ask him to guide you, to show you the way. Let him know you are willingto do the work - you just need his guidance during the way & his strength when you experience moments of weakness. When we open ourselves up to him - & I mean the most raw/vulnerable/deepest part of our soul/spirit - the PANDORA'S BOX to the deepest part of US - we make ourselves truly receptive to him. Again, by this I mean: often, we all ask for God's help - there are times, that we don't truly MEAN IT - God will always help us & NEVER FORSAKE US. We just need to realize - It isn't about "what we want, when we want it", lol - no. Rather, it's what "God knows is best for us & when".When we open the deepest part of our souls & spirit to him - we make ourselves(I think) <span class="ev_code_RED">emotionally receptive</span> TO CHANGE/ADVICE - even when its not always what we want/as we want/when we want it - cause we know GOD WILL ALWAYS KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR US. God ans's us - we just need to make sure we're listening & watching.
3) EMPOWER YOURSELF about anxiety disorder & depression. Whether it be your local library + a book store + the internet, etc - read books on these disorders - knowledge is power & it is the CRYPTONITE to these disorders. When you accumulate the vast information that is out there - you accumulate knowledge about them & empower yourself - because you put yourself in a position to TRULY UNDERSTAND what these disorders are - fr that, you can take action/s to heal/recover/grow - you break away fr the false existence/negative state of being they are trying to create for you.
4) JOURNAL. Journaling helps us get to a place where we're comfortable admitting/acknowledging what we're <span class="ev_code_RED">THINKING & FEELING</span> - then, to feel them = admitt + acknowledge + address + feel + deal + resolve= LET GO & move on.So that, we unburden ourselves w/ these surpressed & negative emotions & MAKE ROOM FOR THE GOOD STUFF. When we do that, we don't fester in the wallowing & dwelling of all things that are anxiety disorder & depression. We then, gradually, feel lighter.
5) POSITIVE SELF TALK. Boy oh boy, this is big - key - huggggggggge, VERY IMPORTANT. What we're feeling originates(lgely, although not singularly) fr our thoughts. We are so caught up in the whole cycle of neg self talk/thoughts - so much so, it is common for us, a way of life if you will. We don't realize how much. Thats ok - cause WE HAVE THE POWER to change that. As Lucinda recommends in the program - note DAILY & CONSISTANTLY, your thoughts. Sure, we are creating a NEW WAY OF THINKING=WAY OF LIFE. That's no big deal - think of it as POS THINKING COLLEGE, lol - honest.
<span class="ev_code_RED">DR'S + DENTIST'S + PHARMACIST'S + ACCOUNTANTS + ENGINEERS + MECHANICS, ETC</span> - didn't just wake up & became these things - instantaneously filled w/ the KNOWLEDGE that afforded them the ability to BE THESE THINGS. No, they had to learn them. I say, so can we - those prone to anxiety disorder & depress. We too can LEARN a better & healthier & positive & empowering way of THINKING. Get some books on it - read, make notes, PRACTICE - trust me - POS SELF TALK SO WORKS.6) LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF. This is also something we may not do - or know how, but it is so something WE CAN LEARN & the rewards are 100% - BENEFICIAL. May sound quirky, but try an exercise: when you are alone - look in a lge mirror you have @ home. Look @ the person staring back @ you. Every day, tell him "you love him" OR "hey man - how's it going - I'm proud of you" OR "I know you are working real hard to recover & I think you're doing a great job" - whatever, use your imagination. I know, sounds funny - it works, I've done it. I didn't know HOW to learn to love myself. I did this exercise, lol - starting w/ "what am I supposed to say to you" hahahha
What it did was get me intuned w/ me - to love me + appreciate me & the woman I am + to express that love everyday, no matter what I did/didn't do or no matter what is going on in the world. 1 day, doing that exercise in the morning, I cried. OK, I'm a sentimental woman who crys if the wind blows the wrong way - thats ok, I love that part of me. I'd rather have a loving & sentimental heart - than to live this life cold/indifferent. I cried because I DID IT that particular day. I cried @ the wonderful woman staring b/4 me - I knew she was fighting like hell to recover for us both - I knew & grew to a point where I told her(me) "I wouldn't trade you for anyone else in the world". You see, b/4 we expect others to love us - we need to love ourselves. Loving yourself is the greatest gift you will give yourself - it also empowers you in that, you become less emotionally dependant on others.7)GRATITUDE. Every morning & every nite, b/4 you go to sleep, say "thank you" to God for all that you do have - not what you don't. Every day - during the coarse of the day, name some things you're greatful for: your home/shelter/place to live + your life + health + family + friends + this PROGRAM + the great man you ARE + the sun outside + the birds singing + the breeze on your face + the food you have to eat + your character - THIS LIST OF GRATITUDE IS INFINITE. It's purpose is to simply foster an attitude of GREATFULNESS - of possitively - so that you focus on what you do have, not what you don't. We are so all much more well off than we realize. Anxiety disorder & depress just makes us focus on the negative stuff. You don't believe them.
8) Anxiety disorder & depress can very subtley create a state of <span class="ev_code_RED">ISOLATION</span>w/o your even realizing it. You withdraw fr life/people/the world/your hobbies/interests - then wonder why no one is around or the phone doesn't ring. Reach out there: call a positive friend - enjoy the conversation + invite a friend for lunch/supper - heck, invite the guys over for a game on tv(golf, baseball, bowling)- go out w/ that special someone if applicable + go to a movie or the bookstore - REACH OUT THERE to the POSITIVE PEOPLE in your life. Allow yourself to have a fun conversation that doesn't always need to be about something revelant - heck, just to laugh fr your belly - HARD(like run to the men's room hard) - laughter is food for the soul & its free. If there are particulars, say hobbies of yours, that these 2 disorders are attempting to make you LOSE INTEREST - do them anyway - pls trust me on this. Say you like GOLFING @ the local golf course. Call some buddies - can them clubs & go hit a few. Fr your doing it anyway, will come YOUR TRUE DESIRE FOR THESE THINGS - trust me.
9) Watch a funny movie or whatever your fave type of movies are - something that is specific to YOUR INTERESTS = you doing for you.
10) What is your fave type of music? Here in the NYC/NJ area, there is this 1 particular radio station - where every FRIDAY - they have this "kiss the week goodbye" thingy. They play a lge variety of FUN COOL - MAKE YA MOVE EVEN IF YA DON'T WANT TO MUSIC, lol - if I make sense. Put on some of that music you may have at home or put your fave radio station on - & jam - don't worry about no one else or nothing else. When I recovered fr anxiety disorder - I subsequently was diagnosed w/ depress for the 1st time in my life(I'm going to be 40 in Aug). I never had depression ever - so what it was making me feel was so sad & foreign. If I was a crier b/4 - lord have mercy, lol - I was like a 2hr chick flick sappy movie - just 24/7, hahahah
. Fortunately, I got intuned w/ my gut instincts or my GOD VOICE as I referred to earlier.I knew this wasn't "typical/normal/healthy" for me. It happened to be a friday - I was in my kitchen(I hadn't ret'd to working just yet). It was a bit after 8am. I put that radio station on. I said, "oh, I'll just listen to it - but it prob won't do any good - I'll just listen @ least". Well, as I said, they play a variety of cool pump you up FUN MUSIC. The 1st song I distinctly remember hearing is BROWN EYED GIRL -I felt my hips moving & my tushy. Then, they played THE DEVIL WENT DWN TO GA. I started singing(really badly, lol). Then they played "do wa diddy diddy dum diddy do"(you know that dong). Well guess what? I was dancing right there in my kitchen - singing off key & moving it. Depress tried to tell me other wise - depress TRIED, unsuccessly I might add, to make me think & feel - I wouldn't want to. I trusted myself & did it anyway. IT FELT GOOD. 11) RELAXATION. In the midst of recovery & all that life can & will entail, nourishing our souls & spirits w/ the ability to sit still & do nothing - is the most refreshing & nourishing thing there is. Yes, it may seem foreign - uncomfortable even. Practicing daily will so change that. Sit w/ you - in your back yard or @ the local park or on your couch: no worries/responsibilities/recovery/family nonsense - NOTHING BUT YOU & YOUR DWN TIME.
12) EXERCISING & EATING, MAKING HEALTHIER CHOICES. When we exercise a little something every day + combine that w/ eating, making healthier choices, we make ourselves STRONG - inside & out. As a result, we EQUIP ourselves w/ the ability to act/react/live/think/be better & healthier. We put ourselves in a better position to handle life & all it will entail. Lucinda is right, life isn't easy & it ain't fair. If we exercise & eat healthier, making better choices more consistantly, we put ourselves in a better position to be able to HANDLE life itself.
Pls don't feel embarrassed about anything cause you're a man & men don't feel this or do that. What makes you a darn good man + a courageous man + a strong man - is that you can reach out - that you recognize & want to change - that you want more & better than the nonsense anxiety disorder & or depress is creating for you. THAT IS A MAN. Be proud of yourself - pat yourself on the back - you are a man - a good man.
Your friend,
LENORE
