Completely irrational fear.....

Rob99 · Post by **Rob99** » Fri Jan 04, 2008 12:52 pm

Hi Completely irrational fear -- no more! One technique that you might want to try is to use positive talk when you meet someone. Say to yourself that they are thinking, "what a nice person you are" and wow, "I bet they are thinking also that they really miss seeing you and how happy they are to meet you again". Just think about how much you enjoyed their company when you did used to see them in the past. This way, you might actually replace some of the negative thoughts with some positive affirmations! Remember, you are special!

ROCKROCK · Post by **ROCKROCK** » Fri Jan 04, 2008 2:25 pm

Hey everyone,
I like this topic, the stories and the advice from Rob99. I've suffered from this practically all of my adult life, I'm 47 yrs. old now. I sometimes avoid family, friends and ex-coworkers in public, all because I don't know what to say and am afraid they'll think that I'm weird also. I've even got to the point, that sometimes, if I'm invited somewhere to a party or social function, I get myself all worked up just anticipating the social aspect of the event, and I haven't even gone yet. I get so caught up with the "what if" thinking that I convince myself that I'm either going to be insulted or humiliated before it's over, and I'm usually wrong, but I can't help it. I'm in week 3 of the program and I'm really trying to shake the negative thinking. Thank all of you for sharing and being here, I feel alot better just knowing that I'm not alone in all of this. Thanks Rob99 for the advice and thank you P&P for bringing this to the forum, and to the rest of you for sharing. God Bless all of you.

Peace be with You,
Rocky

bevhembree · Post by **bevhembree** » Fri Jan 04, 2008 2:49 pm

I recently ran into (literally) a guy from high school that I hadn't seen in 19 years. I apologized and pretended not to recognize him and went on my way. I regret that so much b/c I know he's a good guy. My dad occasionally comes into contact with him and keeps me up to date. I would have loved to have heard about his job and family, but I was terrified of looking like an idiot, saying something stupid, being asked a question and accidently stuttering or saying something stupid. I was worried about what he thought of me- would he be stuck up and judgemental? I don't think so now. I missed a great opportunity, but socially, I need some help. I avoid people like that often, like I didn't see them enough though I made eye contact. They probably think I'M the stuck up one!! UUHHHH!! Beverly

P&P · Post by **P&P** » Fri Jan 04, 2008 5:46 pm

Rob, I have a problem with blushing. I noticed it started when I was about 18 and working at a shoe store for a very young, jerkish boss. I felt intimidated by him and that's when it seemed to start. And I even now, I've realized I have that problem around people I've just met and I don't know if they accept me or not.

But the anxiety from running into people started around the time I was friends with this girl, (no longer friends for good reason) She was more popular than myself and I think I constantly wanted her acceptance. She kept on telling me about her fiancee. Finally he came in one day and just the anticipation of meeting him and worrying about what she thought of me, I had a panick attack. And sometimes I think from that experience, I've continued to "what-if?" So now, it doesn't even matter who it is that I run into, its my what if thinking. It feels SO sub-conscience though.

LizMomof4 · Post by **LizMomof4** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 4:30 am

I didn't realize I'm not the only one this happens to. When ever I see someone I know in public I'm tempted to turn around and go the opposite way. I have even avoided people by going down another aisle. I just feel so akward and shy. I never know what to say. I avoid going to things like parties and family reunions because I feel so out of place and self concious at these types of things.

Sammy105 · Post by **Sammy105** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 8:58 am

Hi there,
I understand what you're saying, what I don't understand is why you interpret this is a problem all on its own, something you need to work on. There are girls I knew in high school, used to like even, whom I'd butterflies in my stomach if I saw again, I don't think there's a thing wrong with that. I've ran into guy friends from high school, and girls I had no affection for, and I was barely nervous.
You should look into hte feelings you apt-ly have for this girl, not... your problems with anxiety, cause that's what happens when you're caught off guard. You can probably relate this feeling to one you get when you meet a girl you don't know, but find attractive. It's more an issue of physical attraction than anxiety here, I'm pretty sure

. If you can reach this person and meet them again, you should. It sounds like you've never gotten over your affection for her.