Guilt

labourg · Post by **labourg** » Sat Sep 26, 2009 8:31 am

I just moved 1500 miles away from MA to Florida 2 weeks ago. Here is my problem--my brother is turning 40 in October. I asked his wife (my sister-in-law) a thousand times if she was doing anything for his birthday and she either blew me off or said she was taking him on a trip. My brother is very traditional and I feel bad about not being there for his birthday. My husband said absolutely not we are not going back and my dad agrees. ANy suggestions?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Sep 26, 2009 10:08 am

I think a fun memory gift idea would be awesome. Like a walk down memory lane. But in a box. With pictures and memories and some funny
"over the hill" gag gifts and them some cool stuff from your new home that you can do with him when he comes down to your neck of the woods.
I am sure he will be fine without you being there. Tou just moved and are still getting settled and that takes time. It will be okay.

Jill~

lovemoose · Post by **lovemoose** » Sat Sep 26, 2009 11:16 pm

I like Jillz idea about taking a walk down memory lane...but do it with a twist. Since he's turning 40, send him 40 memories you share with him including pictures if you have them. Maybe a small scrapbook to commemorate his 40th.

Just an idea. Hope it helps!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Sep 27, 2009 7:31 am

I agree with all of those great suggestions.

Guilt is a wasteful emotion. It takes so much from us.

Most of the time, when we are feeling guilty for not doing something for someone else, that person does not feel that the situation, or the act is as important as we feel it is.

Ask your brother how he feels, and what he wants.
Maybe he just wants quiet time with his wife.

If you ask him, it would take a lot of pressure and guilt off you.

His birthday may not be that serious to him.