For this last two weeks I've been under a large amount of stress...but know what? I'm still here! I've been in the er twice, to urgent care once. I've been told I was having a heart attack or a blood clot, and I kept myself pretty calm. I've been poked prodded and have worn the dreaded backless gown. But I made it. After all the visits, I FINALLY got a doctor who agreed to go ahead with the pulmonary function tests, and I'm getting them this afternoon. I DID NOT QUIT UNTIL I GOT WHAT I WANTED FROM THEM. I don't care if it costs me money out of pocket and I have to skimp for the next 6 months to catch up. I'm worth it. I don't care if I have to go through 20 doctors that I don't like to find one I do. I don't care if someone tells me to see a psychiatrist...I've finally, FINALLY come to the point in my life that I know myself well enough not to believe everything a doctor tells me. I've been up since one am, and yes I'm anxious...I wanted to say to the doc, wouldn't you be if you were told you were having a heart attack? I don't believe the doctors appeals to go see a psychiatrist and get 'multiple meds' and therapy. I've been down that road...and while it might be a needed thing, I'll assess that myself. I'll get a good nights sleep, cut the caffeine (which I've almost completely stopped) and work on the real problems which are my lifestyle choices. And once I get the pulmonary function tests, my fears will be put to rest...finally.
You know, I'm exhausted, but I'm ok. And I think that says a lot. Show me anyone else who wouldn't be stressed and I'd say they're full of it. And if people at work know I have anxiety....SO WHAT?! Who doesn't?
Win one for anyone who's ended up in the ER with anxiety. We are just normal people. Don't ever let anyone treat you like your requests don't matter. Get as much information as you can. Ask about your tests. I think I've finally found a primary physician I can live with. And now that I've reached my deductible, I'm going to get all the preventive care I haven't in the last 2 years because my insurance will pay for it.
I made it!
Hi again,
I just got back from my pulmonary function test. I have mild restrictive lung disease, which means my large bronchial passages are a little bit inflamed, probably from coughing, and clearing my throat...he noticed I did that a lot, and its because I have post nasal drip.
He said it would be a good idea to get a steroid inhaler to reduce the inflamation and recheck the test in a month or so. I am so relieved! This guy (not a doctor) made sure he explained things to me so I didn't go away feeling scared, and he treated me like my problem was important. See that's what I'm looking for. Not for some idiot to tell me I'm having anxiety and to forget doing further testing, but go see a psychiatrist and a therapist. They can kiss my lilly white a@@. I felt like running back to those two doctors that poo-pooed my symptoms and say see! There IS a reason! And even if there weren't, why is it so difficult to do the test anyway?
This respiratory service guy went on to tell me that in this particular town there is a lot more respiratory problems/asthma/allergies he's seeing and he suspects our air quality might be worse because of some industrial companies in the area.
I feel soooooo much better. Now if I can just get a steroid inhaler. I know now that my problem is mild, and isn't life threatening, just uncomfortable, and I need to try not to cough too much.
Thanks all for being here for me, in this thread and others. I hope now that I can put this to rest.
I just got back from my pulmonary function test. I have mild restrictive lung disease, which means my large bronchial passages are a little bit inflamed, probably from coughing, and clearing my throat...he noticed I did that a lot, and its because I have post nasal drip.
He said it would be a good idea to get a steroid inhaler to reduce the inflamation and recheck the test in a month or so. I am so relieved! This guy (not a doctor) made sure he explained things to me so I didn't go away feeling scared, and he treated me like my problem was important. See that's what I'm looking for. Not for some idiot to tell me I'm having anxiety and to forget doing further testing, but go see a psychiatrist and a therapist. They can kiss my lilly white a@@. I felt like running back to those two doctors that poo-pooed my symptoms and say see! There IS a reason! And even if there weren't, why is it so difficult to do the test anyway?
This respiratory service guy went on to tell me that in this particular town there is a lot more respiratory problems/asthma/allergies he's seeing and he suspects our air quality might be worse because of some industrial companies in the area.
I feel soooooo much better. Now if I can just get a steroid inhaler. I know now that my problem is mild, and isn't life threatening, just uncomfortable, and I need to try not to cough too much.
Thanks all for being here for me, in this thread and others. I hope now that I can put this to rest.
Hey Deb.
Your post was excellent and so true in that you should learn to listen to your inner voice and follow those God given instincts!!! I am so glad you fought to get the proper testing done. SO many people don't do that!! I did not listen to my inner voice 15 years ago when I was in the ER and the Dr. passed and something said do not let him treat you but we were there for hours and I felt for my mom. To make a long story short I did not follow my insticts and wound up on a medicine that gave me a life threatening arrythmia and the drug was later taken off the market but if I had asked for another Dr. I would not have a cardiac arrest or PTSD. Major life lesson!!!!!!
I hope things work out for you healthwise. I did not see your other post, do you have severe allergy or bronchial issues that led you to this?
Be well.
Your post was excellent and so true in that you should learn to listen to your inner voice and follow those God given instincts!!! I am so glad you fought to get the proper testing done. SO many people don't do that!! I did not listen to my inner voice 15 years ago when I was in the ER and the Dr. passed and something said do not let him treat you but we were there for hours and I felt for my mom. To make a long story short I did not follow my insticts and wound up on a medicine that gave me a life threatening arrythmia and the drug was later taken off the market but if I had asked for another Dr. I would not have a cardiac arrest or PTSD. Major life lesson!!!!!!
I hope things work out for you healthwise. I did not see your other post, do you have severe allergy or bronchial issues that led you to this?
Be well.
Thanks Kumiko,
No history of asthma or lung disease in my family. However two past episodes of anxiety with panic attacks related to respiratory failure.
I don't know exactly why I have inflammation...its not quite asthma from what he told me. Its more the large airways, not the smaller ones. He says I'm going to live to be a 100 so don't worry...this is not life threatening, but it is real, and he didn't blame me for wanting to get the 'elephant' off my chest and feeling anxious. He has asthma, so he knows what it feels like. I think he was a little surprised no one thought to even give me an inhaler to comfort me.
So now,...I must find a way to remember "this is real, but its not life threatening. When you feel tight in the chest, it is not because you started a panic attack. No, the panic is SECONDARY. Don't blame yourself for the feeling. Just breathe, go take a benadryl, try to relax, talk to a friend if you can...and just remember, the hospital is only a block away, and you're ok. Nobody can tell you you're crazy ever again." No one will ever make me believe that again. For so long, I've felt 'in the wrong' when I argue about my mental health. The standard for doctors is to recommend a psychiatrist and a psychologist. They have no time or apparent desire to discuss lifestyle changes, or at times chase down the symptoms to make sure you're not really having a medical problem. I will not EVER AGAIN, sit in a doctors office, feeling like I have no right to breathe the air, or have an opinion that is different from the doctors. They don't own that space. And I pay THEM.
Sorry, but I'm just really angry. I feel almost like I've been violated. I've spent tons of money, which could have easily been avoided if one doctor had just listened to me at the first visit. And I'm also angry that they misdiagnosed me with a heart attack, and gave me drugs that I had no business receiving. I was at thier mercy. Know how scary it is to go through that? I'm contesting those charges on my bill, because why should I pay for medicine that they gave me in error?
Plus I tried to get in to see a doctor they recommended, and the receptionist was outright RUDE. She said he wasn't in til October..did I want to wait? (Knowing I'd just been to e clinic...) So I called her supervisor and complained. She had no business doing that to me. She was angry because the er doc didn't know that the doctor he recommended wasn't working that day. A huge stress for me, because now I was afraid I couldn't get the pulmonary tests. But it worked out. That second ER doc was really good, and he contacted the respiratory specialist directly, so that even if I didn't get to talk to a 'primary' doctor that agreed to the tests, I could still get them. If it werent for that, I'd still be scared out of my wits, and probably back in the er.
Now I really think I'll be ok. I've told a few folks. People at work, my brother, my pastor, and you guys. I'm not alone, and I'm not ashamed.
Thanks for listening to me rant. Its just been a really long hard couple of weeks.
I appreciate you guys.
Deb
No history of asthma or lung disease in my family. However two past episodes of anxiety with panic attacks related to respiratory failure.
I don't know exactly why I have inflammation...its not quite asthma from what he told me. Its more the large airways, not the smaller ones. He says I'm going to live to be a 100 so don't worry...this is not life threatening, but it is real, and he didn't blame me for wanting to get the 'elephant' off my chest and feeling anxious. He has asthma, so he knows what it feels like. I think he was a little surprised no one thought to even give me an inhaler to comfort me.
So now,...I must find a way to remember "this is real, but its not life threatening. When you feel tight in the chest, it is not because you started a panic attack. No, the panic is SECONDARY. Don't blame yourself for the feeling. Just breathe, go take a benadryl, try to relax, talk to a friend if you can...and just remember, the hospital is only a block away, and you're ok. Nobody can tell you you're crazy ever again." No one will ever make me believe that again. For so long, I've felt 'in the wrong' when I argue about my mental health. The standard for doctors is to recommend a psychiatrist and a psychologist. They have no time or apparent desire to discuss lifestyle changes, or at times chase down the symptoms to make sure you're not really having a medical problem. I will not EVER AGAIN, sit in a doctors office, feeling like I have no right to breathe the air, or have an opinion that is different from the doctors. They don't own that space. And I pay THEM.
Sorry, but I'm just really angry. I feel almost like I've been violated. I've spent tons of money, which could have easily been avoided if one doctor had just listened to me at the first visit. And I'm also angry that they misdiagnosed me with a heart attack, and gave me drugs that I had no business receiving. I was at thier mercy. Know how scary it is to go through that? I'm contesting those charges on my bill, because why should I pay for medicine that they gave me in error?
Plus I tried to get in to see a doctor they recommended, and the receptionist was outright RUDE. She said he wasn't in til October..did I want to wait? (Knowing I'd just been to e clinic...) So I called her supervisor and complained. She had no business doing that to me. She was angry because the er doc didn't know that the doctor he recommended wasn't working that day. A huge stress for me, because now I was afraid I couldn't get the pulmonary tests. But it worked out. That second ER doc was really good, and he contacted the respiratory specialist directly, so that even if I didn't get to talk to a 'primary' doctor that agreed to the tests, I could still get them. If it werent for that, I'd still be scared out of my wits, and probably back in the er.
Now I really think I'll be ok. I've told a few folks. People at work, my brother, my pastor, and you guys. I'm not alone, and I'm not ashamed.
Thanks for listening to me rant. Its just been a really long hard couple of weeks.
I appreciate you guys.
Deb
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Tendertouch
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~*schnauzermom*~
- Posts: 183
- Joined: Sun Nov 13, 2005 9:24 pm
Deb! GOOD for YOU!!!!
I am glad that you even with the stress of it all stood up and got what you wanted! That is what it takes somtimes, roaring to be heard in the masses. I am glad that your test came back and it is not life threatening. Now you know what the deal is, feel comfortable with your medical team and can go forward with treatment and follow up care you are comfortable with. Kudos to you for standing up for yourself even with being exhausted and stressed. You are right ANYONE would be! I can tell you I was with my stuff. And kudos to you for wanting to get preventative care! YOU are worth that investment too! I know you are going to be all right! I too have post nasal drip issues and found a netti pot helps wash away much of that stuff as I use it before I go to sleep. Glad you are doing well adn know that you will be able to put it to rest. Take care!
I am glad that you even with the stress of it all stood up and got what you wanted! That is what it takes somtimes, roaring to be heard in the masses. I am glad that your test came back and it is not life threatening. Now you know what the deal is, feel comfortable with your medical team and can go forward with treatment and follow up care you are comfortable with. Kudos to you for standing up for yourself even with being exhausted and stressed. You are right ANYONE would be! I can tell you I was with my stuff. And kudos to you for wanting to get preventative care! YOU are worth that investment too! I know you are going to be all right! I too have post nasal drip issues and found a netti pot helps wash away much of that stuff as I use it before I go to sleep. Glad you are doing well adn know that you will be able to put it to rest. Take care!
"Afterall, everybody only hears what he understands." by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I have a small success story, too. It involves the dentist. I have a really horrible fear of the dentist. I've had one since I was a child, but I hadn't been in 7 years and I hadn't been there since I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. In fact, the thought of even going to the dentist would send me into a panic attack. I finally got dental insurance back in April and ever since then I've been putting off making the appointment. I made an appointment once at one dentist office and I never went because I was having horrible anxiety and the only thing making me feel better was the thought of not going. That was back in May. About a month ago my boyfriend moved in with me and ever since then I've been doing more and more than I've done in the past. He makes me feel better and he also knocks a lot of sense into me. He kept saying to me, "Kari, do you want your teeth to rot and fall out?"
I think I avoided going for so long because I was afraid of what they would tell me about my teeth. I imagined horrible things. I imagined 10 cavities, gum disease, dead teeth. I '"what if'd" myself into an oblivion. I also was afraid of having a panic attack at the dentist office. What would they think of me? What if this? What if that? etc.
Well, I finally went on Tuesday. My father and sister see a dentist that they really like, so I decided to call them to schedule an appointment on Tuesday. The receptionist said she could get me in at 4 o'clock that same day. I said "Okay" even though I wanted to tell her to get me something weeks later. But what would that do? I decided to just accept the appointment and get it over with. The entire day I was sick to my stomach. I was panicking. I was googling dental horror stories (why do we do that? why do we always kick ourselves when we're down?) So finally the time to leave rolled around and I drove to the office. I was TERRIFIED. I kept almost turning around. But I somehow managed to get out of my car and walk into the building. I checked in and filled out paperwork. My hand was shaking. But I did it. I was called back to the room. It was a tiny, windowless room and it was filled with scary dental equipment. I sat down in the chair and the dental hygienist was VERY nice. I told her how nervous I was and she was very understanding. Long story short, I made it through and I didn't die. I didn't have a panic attack. I only had 1 cavity that needed a filling. (which I got filled yesterday and I survived that, too)
But the point of all of this is that I made it. we always make it through. We are very strong people and we can do whatever we set our minds to. Sometimes it just takes a little courage to do it. I am patting myself on the back because I survived 2 dentist appointments. I survived Novocain. I survived feeling really weird with half of my mouth numb. I survived a teeth cleaning and my first cavity filling. And to be honest... I am not dreading going back. If I had to get my teeth cleaned tomorrow, I would go without being nervous or scared. I learned that the best way to kill your fear, is to actually do what you're afraid of. And it's so much easier living my life knowing that I don't have 10 cavities or gum disease. I know people with anxiety put things off because they're afraid, but sometimes putting things off just makes it worse. Just do it! And you will make it through.
You always make it through.
I think I avoided going for so long because I was afraid of what they would tell me about my teeth. I imagined horrible things. I imagined 10 cavities, gum disease, dead teeth. I '"what if'd" myself into an oblivion. I also was afraid of having a panic attack at the dentist office. What would they think of me? What if this? What if that? etc.
Well, I finally went on Tuesday. My father and sister see a dentist that they really like, so I decided to call them to schedule an appointment on Tuesday. The receptionist said she could get me in at 4 o'clock that same day. I said "Okay" even though I wanted to tell her to get me something weeks later. But what would that do? I decided to just accept the appointment and get it over with. The entire day I was sick to my stomach. I was panicking. I was googling dental horror stories (why do we do that? why do we always kick ourselves when we're down?) So finally the time to leave rolled around and I drove to the office. I was TERRIFIED. I kept almost turning around. But I somehow managed to get out of my car and walk into the building. I checked in and filled out paperwork. My hand was shaking. But I did it. I was called back to the room. It was a tiny, windowless room and it was filled with scary dental equipment. I sat down in the chair and the dental hygienist was VERY nice. I told her how nervous I was and she was very understanding. Long story short, I made it through and I didn't die. I didn't have a panic attack. I only had 1 cavity that needed a filling. (which I got filled yesterday and I survived that, too)
But the point of all of this is that I made it. we always make it through. We are very strong people and we can do whatever we set our minds to. Sometimes it just takes a little courage to do it. I am patting myself on the back because I survived 2 dentist appointments. I survived Novocain. I survived feeling really weird with half of my mouth numb. I survived a teeth cleaning and my first cavity filling. And to be honest... I am not dreading going back. If I had to get my teeth cleaned tomorrow, I would go without being nervous or scared. I learned that the best way to kill your fear, is to actually do what you're afraid of. And it's so much easier living my life knowing that I don't have 10 cavities or gum disease. I know people with anxiety put things off because they're afraid, but sometimes putting things off just makes it worse. Just do it! And you will make it through.
You always make it through.
hugs&kisses,
Karilynn
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
Frank Herbert
"How you climb up the mountain is just as important as how you get down the mountain. And, so it is with life, which for many of us becomes one big test followed by one big lesson. In the end, it all comes down to one word: grace. It's how you accept winning and losing, good luck and bad luck, darkness and the light."
Karilynn
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
Frank Herbert
"How you climb up the mountain is just as important as how you get down the mountain. And, so it is with life, which for many of us becomes one big test followed by one big lesson. In the end, it all comes down to one word: grace. It's how you accept winning and losing, good luck and bad luck, darkness and the light."
Kudos to you Karilynn! Don't ever be afraid to tell the dentist that you have dental anxiety, many many prople who have no other anxiety issues can't handle the dentist. If you get too nervous they will always prescribe you a vakium to take a couple of hours before so you don't have to deal with the anticipatory anxiety.
Deb please don't be so angry. I am dealing with two ailing parents so I have some emergency room experience. Treating you as though you have a heart attack and doing all the tests when you complain of chest pains is required in the emergency room. I know it is scary but they do it to avoid liability in case you really are having a heart episode. Don't blame the doctors, blame the lawyers and our sue happy society.
I also have the lung constriction and inflammation from post nasal drip. Although your anxiety doesn't cause the problem trust me it can make it so much worse. Don't forget to use proper breathing. I have also noticed that when I feel like I am struggling to breathe I will have every muscle in my body tensed. When I make myself let go of the tension it always helps my breathing.
Deb please don't be so angry. I am dealing with two ailing parents so I have some emergency room experience. Treating you as though you have a heart attack and doing all the tests when you complain of chest pains is required in the emergency room. I know it is scary but they do it to avoid liability in case you really are having a heart episode. Don't blame the doctors, blame the lawyers and our sue happy society.
I also have the lung constriction and inflammation from post nasal drip. Although your anxiety doesn't cause the problem trust me it can make it so much worse. Don't forget to use proper breathing. I have also noticed that when I feel like I am struggling to breathe I will have every muscle in my body tensed. When I make myself let go of the tension it always helps my breathing.
Love and Light
Rene'
Rene'
Good for you Deb!!! I'm so happy you finally got results! Those of us with anxiety really have to push for our healthcare these days because we're seen by medical professionals as the "healthy sick". They see us as taking up their time with this ache or that when they have more "important" symptoms to deal with. Well you know what? These same docs are at more risk for lawsuits because they shrug us off when they see Anxiety/Depression written on our medical history page!
Good for you Deb!
Good for you Deb!
"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
Jesus Christ
Matthew 6:27