your guard must always be on.

hobbes · Post by **hobbes** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 1:28 pm

Hello, Just wanted to note that I was having a perfectly great day. Thinking that I was finally
beating my anxiety, Let my guard down for a few
minutes from being positve, and then the fog
slides right in. It's like you have to always
be very attentive to your thoughts. I enjoy the
feeling of being like my old self, and in one short moment you lose it . I wonder if after you
recover if you always, are afraid that you will
slide back into your old habits.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Mar 01, 2009 7:07 am

You get used to thinking differently after while so it isnt like you have to be "gaurding" your thoughts, but more like constant monitoring, when they start turning bad you should try and get them into check quickly to avoid spiraling quickly. It gets easier and easier and then becomes a habit, just like anything you do regularly!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Mar 01, 2009 7:28 am

Yes, it is true that we slide into old bad habits. Like iStar said, the self monitoring gets less noticeable and new habits get easier. It took a very long time to develop the bad habits. Like any other bad habit, it doesn't leave because we decide it is destructive. The repeated constructive behavior needs to be reinforced for a long enough period of time to take precedence over the destructive behavior. When I reached Session 5, I did not abandon all my bad eating habits in one week. I changed my regular coffee to half and half; then 3/4 to 1/4 regular with decaf. As for too many carbs and too much chocolate, that took awhile, too. Eventually, I did replace the cookies with berries; the caffeine with decaf; the carbs with fruits and vegetables. That is actually a negative into a positive, same as thoughts. As long as you work at this, it will get easier. Do you have a highly skilled talent? Like piano or guitar or sculpting or woodworking? You have to work at these skills for years to get good at them. Anything that we know will make our life better is worth the time, even if the time translates into years. I completed this program in mid October. I've refreshed a lot of stuff since then. And I have days when I actually wake up thinking stuff that wrecks my own day. But I know that if I step through that fog and go back to the positive constructive behavior, my day will turn around. Turn your life into something you enjoy. That scary old wrecking ball we use to ruin our present moments is not that hard to replace. But it does take repeated efforts. You will get out of this what you put into it. As for your last question, I can answer for myself. I did recover, using this program, from a serious depression. I have not slid back into depression. When the destructive thoughts sneak in, I notice them, I address them, and sometimes I actually argue with them. I always discover they do not pass the smell test. They are not true. They are just habitual lies I have told myself. These days all I need to do is recognize them. It's like spotting an infection before it turns into something serious. Beats the old days. Truly, it does. Easy? No. Worth the work? Yes.

R.T.E. · Post by **R.T.E.** » Mon Mar 02, 2009 4:02 am

I was reading through the postings and feel the same as hobbes, but you're posting pecos really inspired me. Thank you, you give me hope.

MichelleRN2004 · Post by **MichelleRN2004** » Mon Mar 02, 2009 6:12 am

Thank you for your responses. I do know it is a very long road to keeping yourself on the right
track. I keep a lists of positive memo's where
ever I go. I read them constantly when I feel
the start of a anxious episode. I am dealing very well with panic. I float like they say when
I do space out, however it seems to happen even
when I'm not anxious, and more often than before. I don't let it scare me, but is there a
better way to deal with derealization, and I'm
not doing it?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Mar 02, 2009 6:19 pm

can I ask just how long of road if I am diligently keeping my focus? cause I have the SAME problem

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 3:29 pm

Hobbes, you want to know if there is a better way to deal with derealization. Have you ever been evaluated by your doctor or therapist to determine if this is specifically what you are dealing with? Some evaluations which are used today include the Dissociative Experiences Scale and the Questionnaire of Dissociation. Based on your responses to those screens, your doctor or therapist is best suited to answer your question.
Abbette, you began this program in July last year. Did you complete it? Did you follow it according to the guidelines and instructions. If you did, and you are still struggling with your focus, here is a simple exercise. Get a piece of paper. Make two columns. In one column begin listing down everything you FOCUSED on today that made you uncomfortable, mad, sad, angry, frustrated, etc. In the second column list everything you FOCUSED on today that made you comfortable, happy, cheerful, grateful, contented, etc. I am going to guess that you are spending way too much time focusing on your negatives. Get a notebook. Make lists for the next twenty five pages. Now, put tomorrow's date at the top of the first page, and proceed to put each calendar date for the next twenty five days at the top of those pages. Every day make a list of what you focus on. Work on noticing if your primary problem is that you spend too much time focusing on what you don't like in your life. Here is a clue: What you focus on is what you think, and that becomes your attitude. Spend your time focusing more on what you like about your life, what you are truly grateful for, than what you don't like. I am going to bet if you do that, you will truly begin to enjoy the moments of your day with more ease. Focus was your word of choice here. I think that's the answer to your question. You are not focusing on what you love about life. You are still focusing on what you don't love.