can't break out of this hole!!!

[dlep1234]

i've had anxiety since i was little and im now 19 and going to college and working part time. my anxiety started to get bad at home sometimes when i was 17 and i just got the program 5 months ago. i've never done meds. anyways, the program has helped educate me but i feel like my anxiety continues to get worse since i'm thinking about it more and facing it head on. i usually go through 2-3 week periods where it bothers me then itll go away for a while then itll come back. (when it's away i still have to avoid certain things like going to the mall at night and what not)
BUT, back in late july (almost a month and a half ago) i had a bad night where I felt strange and surreal. The dreamlike feeling was nothing new but even when I got home from where I came from I felt unable to relax and quite sick. It was definetly scary. ever since then i've been obsessing over my thought processes and I feel like I can feel that unreal/dreamlike feeling whenever I think about it. When I go out and drive it gets wayyyy worse especially at night and it takes me a while to feel normal again when I come home. Even when I do feel normal again though I still don't feel like I'm safe from the thought. Like I can still think of it and feel discomfort. I've had like 3 or 4 high points during this month and a half span where I was feeling good and thought i was gonna break out of the hole which is what usually happens..once i feel good i stop obsessing over whatever has me down...but i only felt good for a while. once it was an entire day but I always return. It has me wondering if I will ever be able to change my thought processes and feel like the the thought(s) can't effect me badly.

[missgsr]

Hi there,
You mentioned you got the program 5 months ago. Have you broken it open yet?

I personally ABSOLUTELY believe that you can change your thoughts...you just have to be willing to work at it and never stop believing.

[tina martin]

Sure agree, missgsr. There have been plenty of fine testimonies for the effectiveness of the program.

From all I've read, including Lucinda Bassett's book, we must recognize the reality of anxiety or depression, endure it, yet work at restructuring our thinking, our attitudes, our outlook. Here is a quote from her book: "In order to free yourself from pain, you must endure it, not run from it."

As you work on the program, you will gradually feel the freeing effects of changes in your thinking. Don't give up. Try to eat well, exercise (just walking can be very good) and fit in some meditation. There is hope.

[dlep1234]

thanks guys. ill work harder at the program.

[missgsr]

I also wanted to mention that like you, I have had bouts of anxiety that lasted weeks (sometimes months). I was always so envious of people who could have an attack, get through it, and be fine the next day. It always stuck with me for so long. I'm happy to report that the other day I had an attack that would have surely spiraled into weeks or months of 24/7 anxiety but I was able to fight it off and felt okay again later that day!! It IS possible and you CAN do it! Just hang in there and don't ever stop believing!

[dlep1234]

thanks a lot for the encouragement it means a lot!

[Esme1979]

dlep1234-

I was just talking with my mom literally just now... about how my thoughts circle and i have such an overthinker brain and blah blah blah, you can imagine the sound of me racing my speech trying to keep up with the running thoughts in my head... i was telling her about the program and i was also telling her how sometimes when people tell us- relax and calm down- well like they say its easier said than done... i can say that yes we all need the support and that is why i log into this site everyday and am actually looking for a Stress buddy to check in with while doing the program becuz i believe that the program is amazing but maybe you are like me... i have a habit of not sticking to things, or doing things and then once i feel a lil better i get off what ever regimen i am on at that time... i have had the program for a year and i can say i have listened to most to all the cds but never did the workbook and i didn't use all of the tools i just thought i could listen to the cds and that would be it... i have had anxiety for 8 years and i have done counceling and medication and do meditation and prayer... i realized that sadly it seems to always come back and maybe it was becuz i never really stuck it out and maybe i wanted some miracle pill but it doesn't exsist.... so i am now on session 2 this week and i am soo happy and excited about my hopes of finally gettting better and staying better!!!!! feel free to email me personally and or post on here i check this close to almost ever day... it reminds me to make sure i keep doing the work becuz i want and need to feel better.... just so you know my anxiety stems from driving and scary thoughts and driving in bad weather..sometimes its hard for me to function becuz my mind races sooo much ; its so horrible so please know that i know you are in this hole but like the others say there is a way out it simply seems so far away if anything find comfort in knowing your not alone... sometimes that makes me feel better.. hugss and support- Esmeralda

[dlep1234]

thanks so much. I've been wanting someone to talk with lately too. I'll email you.

[TL7]

Oh boy, I've been there! Even when starting the program I felt worse for what I thought was forever. My thoughts circled a lot and I felt like a dog chasing his tail. I'd have a good day or two, then spiral for a week then back. If I got a new symptom or one of my usual ones got scarier, I'd obsess about it all.the.time. I promise you can and will overcome this type of thinking but it takes time and patience. Make sure you are kind to yourself. It's okay to feel these feelings and as long as you recognize what they are and are working the program, they will eventually diminish. Don't be surprise if it happens and you don't even realize it at first. I remember having a lot of "hey! I haven't feel like xyz in a while" moments.

[tina martin]

Your posts, TL7, are so welcome and encouraging. You have experienced the benefits of the program and yet realize it does not necessarily "fix" us for all time.

We can try and try again and regain hope. Thank you for sharing.