2nd time in life

[BLR]

Back almost 20 years ago I had agoraphobia. Was in the house 7 years. Got this program and with help from friends and support overcame without any meds. Now I have a f/t job, home etc and ent through some health scares etc that brought it on again. But this time I am not agoraphobic. My panic/anxiety attacks are everywhere. I was always scared of meds but trying to save my job and marriage, home etc. i am now on xanax, Luxox and Cllonazapam as cant sleep good and lost appetite. I am mtrying soo hard and seeing therapist. But it is so hard. I know the safe person is me but this hit me like a mack truck and I need to practive my skills. Felt so out of control almost committed myself. I also hate taking meds but have no choice and the doc says he can ween me off when ready. Anyone relate and overcome this more than once?

Thanks and God Bless

[panicfree]

Hi BLR, I have never been agoraphobic myself, but I know what you feel about about anxiety and your "safe person"! I went through a time where I could not be away from my safe person, but when I finally got away from them, I was so happy and confident in myself. But even though it may not seem like it, you are your safe person! You are strong and you can handle anything life throws at you! Use your skills and believe in yourself!
~PF

[tina martin]

As often as the program brings good results, there can be recidivism. It is, after all, mind reconditioning which may require repeat efforts.

If you can bring yourself to do the program again it may help you to get off the meds gradually. Wishing you the best.

[BLR]

This time seems so much harder. It is like facing the anxiety, depression
Obsessive thoughts, fear of meds but taking them
anyway. I feel like my own worst enemy sometimes. Trying so
Hard to believe I will recover again and come
Out stronger but it's so hard and not too many
Support people in my life. Some but they have
Lives too. I cry do much lately and pray to God
For strength and to help me heal. Staying in the
Present moment is sooooo hard too. I worry and
Obsess until my head feels like it will blow off.
The Luvox is supposed to help with what dr says is OCD worry.
Been on it 4 weeks and haven't noticed much difference yet.
Also seeing counselor and trying to do attacking
An anxiety program but not enough hours in the day.
Why can't I believe I can recover again? I feel so pressured
As scared to lose my home, job, husband etc. Wish my brain had an
On and off switch to stop my insane worries and let me concentrate, sleep
And stop crying. One day is all I can try to do at a time. But again the brain wants to go off
I am trying to say the truth back as 95% of fear
Is false. My whole body and mind hurt from this stress.

[Iwillbebetter]

BLR - I know how you feel. I felt that way before trying the program again. I only made it 1/2 way the first time. After about a year I was right back where I was. One day I was sitting in a corner of my kitchen, crying felt like I was going to have a nervous break down or something. Then I remembered the program and how it had helped me the first time, even though I had not finished and decided at that point I am not going to allow myself to do this anymore!!! I still sometimes think I can't do it. I think I'll go right back to where/who I was. But those are just thoughts, and will only become reality if I allow them. I would first work on your thoughts of being able to help yourself!! If you don't beleive you can change, you won't be able to. a quote I recently saw makes me think of that - "beleive you can, beleive you can't - either way you'll be right"

I know how hard it can seem to not have support in your life. I don't have much for support, although I can't say I'm agoraphobic, but I have over time managed to rid myself of most of my friends. I really only have 1-2 friends right now, whom live over an hour from me. I decided support or not, this is something I have to do, I can't live this way anymore!! I also have children and don't want to teach them to live this way either!! I have found this site helpful for support, which I think is almost better, as many here can relate, not just listen and wish they understood, they really do understand!!

If you recovered once, you can do it again!! No matter if you feel it's different this time, or if you feel you are worse than before, you can still pull yourself out of it.

[tina martin]

Beautiful post IWBB, right on target. BLR, you are on target too when you realize we are our own worst enemy. We are so complex and demands can be so great and difficult. They can come from all directions. As I see it the only way to deal with it is to insist on becoming our own masters.

Please try a refresher with the program. Give it a chance with maybe only 5-10 minutes a day. Every moment counts.

[LyndaLu]

BLR:

"Set your sights on exciting goals that are possible to achieve with
what you have and who you are. You'll be amazed at how far
you can go and how much joy you can experience in your life".

From the book FROM PANIC TO POWER

L

[LyndaLu]

BLR:

Don't worry about being on the meds again, you may need them for now.
I know that when I was at my lowest point in life, the meds really did help me out.
I have been to the hospital too....at first I was embarrassed about it, but 5 years
later I look back and realize that being there saved my life. Get all the help that
you can from your therapist, your medications and start back on the program
as soon as you can. Join us on the website, we are here for you. We understand.

L

[pearpickinporky]

I'm going through this crap again for a second time after my job loss, I can relate to how your feeling, I feel I'd also need meds but I've never taken them before and to be honest I am scared of them, I've tried to go through the program again but my attention span just isn't having any of it.

[LyndaLu]

Dear IWBB:
Thanks for the advice about recovery.