Obsessing

[Andy219]

So, last month I was worried that I might me pregnant. Told to never take celexa during pregnancy by my old dr. I started to worry. I have always wanted a third child, and not wanting to harm a potential pregnancy I lowered my dose from 10 to 5 mg on December 27. I had no withdraw symptoms the first day. Then day 2 I woke up in. The middle of the night and had the worst panic attack I had in years. Worried I went to the hospital where they treated me for bronchitis and possibly early pneumonia. Not sure if it was a combo of both I began taking 10mg of celexa again. So, I only took 2 days of 5 mg.

Anyway, I took the antibiotic and was on my regular dose of celexa and all was fine. Then, just about 2 weeks later I had this horrible nightmare about my dad. If you read my earlier post he has been fighting stage I've lung cancer for the last year....just typing this brings tears to my eyes.....been feeling guilty about not spending more time with him. In my dream he passed away and ended up in my house. Very bizarre dream. Woke up anxious and been battling the anxiety ever since. Two days were horrendous. Anxious spacy.....ugh! I immediately started my relaxation tape again and the sessions. When I talked to the dr we spoke about raising my dosage of celexa for a bit. What I am obsessing about is whether or not what I am feeling is everything catching up with me or if it is my body adjusting after messing with the meds. Really irritated with myself for messing with them since I was feeling fine and all was working well. Thought I was doing the right thing since I had talked to the dr in October about weaning off to get pregnant.

Feeling less anxious the last few days, although I still have that low aggravating anxious/nervousness that I am trying not to focus on, but find myself overanalyzing and stressing about. Do I take the higher dose of meds and make it worse admit always does for me in the beginning or do I wait it out and hope that my body just needs to regulate?

[mosaic1989]

If pregnancy isn't an issue there shouldn't be a problem with going back to your original dose. You can always go back to tapering off when your feeling better. Sometimes that is a real struggle to know what to do. Probably the anxiety about the dream got things going, and maybe some thinking about your Dad and what your feeling about that. It is extremely difficult to deal with a parent who is that sick, mostly what you have is hurt and loss and other emotions your going through. It is not a time that is easy to get through. Give yourself a break, because your going through something very difficult. Dreams like that are not unusual but can come when were going through something like this which is so uncertain, seems like there always werid and scare us. I have weird dreams often and it leaves me spacey for a while. Let your body calm down from all the stress responses, you will come back down. Probably dealing with a lot of fear right now and perhaps some unresolved things. It takes a while to work through. Try to eliminate some of the stressors where you can, relaxation tape is good, Work on Positive self talk. The "Feel better Fast" CD has some good things on it some good affirmations. Ch 8 also has some good positive affirmations in it, look in the workbook, there might be a list there. But I know it is part of the CD. Remember to tell yourself you are doing the best you can given the circumstances of your life at this time. Take care of yourself, and then you will have more strength to do other things you need to. Sometimes it is good to step back a couple paces so we can move forward. Your doing ok. Take Care

[Andy219]

Thank you so much for responding to my post mosaic. Your words ring true. After reading your post the tears have not stopped. I know now that my fear of losing my dad is something that I have been trying to suppress and that dream just made it that much more vivid and real.

Thanks for the comforting advice. I look forward to the opportunity to keep in touch with you.

[mosaic1989]

Oh my I am deeply touched. Just want you to know that I'm here for you for support. Hope you will be feeling better soon! You can always send me a PM (personal message too), I stay at home so I have more time than some do here. I'm still learning to navigate these boards, just discovered that I can view all my posts, that sure saves time and guessing. Sorry it took so long to respond to you. We are all struggling. We will make it. Take care of yourself.