Need some advice

[Lionsfan44]

Hello,
It has been along time since I visited the forum I want to start out by saying I went through the program in 2008 and my life has improved greatly I could always function but I was not really living until I found the program. I fit most of the profile of someone who could develop anxiety,depression etc. I lost one parent at 17 and the other at 27 my mom to a lenghty battle with cancer my father to a sudden blood clot. I don't want to ramble but after reading some other posts I forgot how helpful I found these forums in the past. After recovery I bought NFL season tickets and enjoyed going downtown to the games my problem was always driving so this was a big moment. I consider myself an active guy not really a party goer but I will play about any sport if given the chance. Last year in October I had a PA while at a game downtown I went back the very next week but I noticed some avoidance behaviors starting. To be fair I should tell you I'm in sales (which I love) but during this time I was fairly certain that my job was in jeopardy. So now to present day. I asked to be transferred to a new more lucrative sales postion ( perfectionism is a good trait in sales) in September I started my new job and a few weeks later I saw an increase in my anxeity and even now feel it. I should also note that during this time I also was the best man in a huge wedding that lncluded me giving a speech in front of 400 plus people whoa!! but I did it!!! It is true you can function in time of great anxiety So I feel like I'm starting to avoid things and my thoughts seem to be scaring me again and I have been the king of scary thoughts! My favorite (joke) right now seems to be " if you go somewhere you can't leave or is far away you will have a PA and everyone will now you weird" (weakness) Also "i'm having a heart attack or heart issue" My real question is I know I need to take a step back and reprogam myself but were should I start? Week 1 or jump around? Is there a place on the forum or program for a tune up? I now that it took me years to get these bad habits and recovery is a process but I kind of feel like I should be climbing mountains or jumping out of planes by now! (expectations) Not worrying about things that are not real! As always any insight would be helpful I love the fact I can come to the forum and vent or read that I'm not alone
Thanks

[mosaic1989]

So sorry to hear of all the issues you have had. I am a person who has started over just recently. Personally I decided to completely start over. I started with Session 1 like I was brand new to the program. I would get a Notebook or something like it so you can go through your workbook again. I think even calling the center and talk to someone about starting again they might have some helpful suggestions. I felt this time I would take my time, and not be so hard on myself for keeping up to a certain pace. I think a lot of us here are going through this a second time and sometimes a third. Good luck, and take care. Keep posting.

[tina martin]

From what I've read here over a period of some time, there is recidivism; which, in a way, almost makes sense. The program, after all, is not surgery that fixes the brain and psyche once and for all time, necessarily. Whatever any of us is prone to be saddled with (arriving here) is likely to need attention, at least now and then, or always. For example, positive self-talk, exercise, meditation are what I focus on every day.

You may want to start again and then know what you must carry with you even when you're done with the program. Wishing you the best. Keep us posted, if you can.

[Engine2]

I've never done the program, but I used the free e-mails in the beginning back in 2008 and then used the forums. I felt a great sense of comfort in knowing I was not alone.

Since Dec '10 while my anxiety was not where it was in 2008. I've been under a lot of self induced personal stress (not all self induced, but I don't let things go). It only got more intense in Sept. '11 and now I reached the point of panic attacks again and everything. I even brought myself to the ER one night to "make sure."

It is tough to feel this way again and my fear always centers around having a heart attack or some sort of issue like that. I do not know why that is my weakness or trigger, but it stinks.

I've been feeling better in the last week or so, despite having to take my mom in for a heart procedure (non-hereditary). One of the reasons I get panicked about the heart thing is I am one who suffers from Chest Pain regularly. Maybe not chest pain, but muscle pain in my shoulders, chest, neck, etc. I have been previously diagnosed with costochondritis and I believe it has flared up.

I came back here to remind myself it can get better and it will. I have a lot of reason to be happy and I have had at last in previous years a lot of tests to prove my heart is good.

I would say if the program worked for you, start it again, I highly doubt it would hurt you. Be strong and I hope you feel better soon!

[THH]

Lionsfan44,
2008 is a long time ago! Good for you on holding your good habits for so long! DO you still have the program? I have gone through several times in the last couple years. I get myself in a good positive place and hold for some time and then I too will hit a stresser that I don't manage well. For me health is a major anxiety. So when I get sick or have people in my life who are sick, I have to get my tapes out! I have a tape in my box called " jump start to feelilng better" This one is good for me. Then I usually go to self talk, and obsessive, scarey thoughts.

Its not a bad idea to go through the program again either, from session 1. I with a group of others have done that a couple times and it really does help. I would even be up for it again if others want to do it too.

Keep at it, Best of luck to you.

[tateman]

i am going thew the program again and i feel it will be very helpful. its kind of like a movie that you watch twice. you will see things that you didnt the first time.i have come a long way but i still have far to go to be where i want to be in life. i am enjoying the program more the second time around becouse i am more relaxed and i know what to expect.the forums are going to be very helpful to me i hope.its such a blessing to be able to finally connect with others that understand what i am goimg threw.