Depressed in the morning; FINE at night.

[POC]

I've been dealing with anxiety and depression for 15 years, I've had it nearly my whole life.
My major point of anxiety deals with traveling, I don't travel well at all. I almost always have to take an extra 1mg Xanax when I go on a trip of an hour or more.
Recently my wife had to spend a week in the hospital due to an ongoing chronic health problem. This was a surprise, she's had this disease for 4 years and this was the first hospital stay. We were an hour from home (-1), staying in a hospital (-1), my wife was having medical problems (-1). So that's a big -3 for me as far as this "trip" is concerned!
I took 1/2 to 1 Xanax every day while she was in the hospital. I did pretty good while there. I had some "symptoms" of anxiety, but never had the "I have to leave and get out of here" feeling that usually goes along with a full blown attack for me.

Fast-forward to after we are home from the hospital. The last 2 weeks I've been an absolute mess. Not so much anxious as much as depressed. So bad that I don't want to eat, I don't want to get out of bed and I'm actually 'ill' feeling. Not just my normal "I don't really want to get up and do something" feeling, but actually like I *can't* get up.
After I take my Effexor in the evening, it doesn't take long before I feel much better. Right now, I'm fine. 10 foot tall and bullet-proof, as they say.
But in the morning, I'm afraid I'll be back to feeling like crap, like a little kid that wants to curl up and cry in the corner.
I'm on the 3rd step of the Program.
I've taken Effexor XR 300mg for 5? 7 years maybe...also take Xanax XR 2mg for about the same amount of time. I also have 1mg regular Xanax for "break through" anxiety.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to what to do next? Add a different med?
I'm to the point now that I'm off work on FMLA, and I can't afford to do that for very long.
I know this isn't a problem that can be solved with a pill, and I'm willing to do the work, but is there something that could help me now?

[tina martin]

First, I am very sorry for what you go through. With effort and determination it can get better. The program here has had good results, as stated by a number of people. The key is to stick with it. You may want to read some threads here, they are encouraging (posts by Cancun007, 4-18 and earlier and The Passing of a StressCenter.com...by Mimi, 4-15, for example).

The medications ought to be dealt with by a doctor because people can react differently to them. What you might want is a psychologist or psychiatrist who will also engage in some talk therapy with you to help you find root issues of your depression. And then you can look at some self-help books that appeal to you. This can be highly individual too. You can view it all as an adventure to learn about yourself. Wish you the best in your work to get better.

Happy Easter to you and your family.

[POC]

Thanks for your comments.
I've been working with my family doctor, who is trying to get me in to see a psychiatrist. In the mean time, he increased my Effexor to 450mg. I don't feel depressed any more, but the anxiety is still very much there.
I have also seen a counselor at our local counseling center, she wanted me to try to not change my meds, but just come back and see her. I tried to not change my meds for a few days, but I was so miserable I had to call the doctor and get SOMETHING done.

I'm sorry but this "adventure" is about like going to the dentist.

I had a good long talk with my dad tonight, we are very much alike, except I'm taller. I think this was the best talk we've ever had. We cried and hugged and he said he'd do anything in the world that he could to help me feel better. It is much easier to talk to someone who has BEEN where you are. He used to take my mom and my sister, in the middle of the night, to his parents house when he was feeling bad like I am now. He told me tonight to come over whenever I needed to, if that would make me feel better.
I feel better now. I hope, hope, hope that I still feel this good in the morning.

[tina martin]

Problem is we have not much choice about going to the dentist, do we? So we can decide to like the dentist (I like mine), like the music they pipe in, close my eyes, and be thankful that I'm likely to keep my teeth to the end of my days. Actually, learning about ourself, taking control of ourself is,in fact, much more pleasant.

I hope others would join in so it isn't just me. But for now, apparently it is just me. Your contact with your father is invaluable. You are taking all the right steps medically. Hope you feel confident and positive about charting a new course for yourself. You will be in charge and not anxiety.

[POC]

Went and saw the counselor yesterday, went over ways to change my thinking from negative to positive.

Today went to see a psychiatrist, he took me back down to 300mg of Effexor XR and added Seroquel XR. I don't really want to take it. I'm afraid of how it is going to make me feel, side effects and such.

I've felt better in the last 2-3 days than the week before.

Patrick

[tina martin]

Why are others hiding so you don't just have to put up with me? But I feel so good about what you posted.

I'm no fan of meds, but have read where it has helped. From what I can tell it depends on how bad the symptoms are. The meds can also be used short term to help you get back on track. Hope you can continue to feel better.