I'm coping much better now. It's mom I'm worried about. She's taken so much time cleaning and getting rid of the oxygen stuff and doing this and doing that and getting rid of dad's clothes (donating them) that she hasn't made time to start grieving. I think that she's had her moments though. She said today that she didn't want to open up Sympathy cards today that she got in the mail. I don't know what to think about it really. Maybe once the house is back to the way it was before dad got sick, she'll have that meltdown like the rest of us had. I called her after work today (like I do every day) to make sure that she's ok and to find out what she's up to. I'm really concerned. I told dad that I would take care of her. I don't want to feel like I'm letting him down.
Back to happier stuff.......I don't seem to have a problem speaking up at work anymore. I like that about me now LOL My co-workers seem to get a kick out of me too ! Also, I went for my walk today after work and I will go for my river walk tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it. My motivation is simple. One of the last talks I had with dad was him poking me in the stomach and saying "Get rid of this so you can take care of your mother". Motivation blunt and straight to the point ! LOL I think that's what I needed.
Another thing I started was a "Friends and family wall". I started to frame pictures that were sitting and collecting dust of friends and family. I'm going to fill a big space on my wall of that stuff. Dad's pics will be right in the middle and I'll work my way out from there.
I learned what's important..............
