Hi All- I haven't been on in awhile because I haven't found the motivational shove to do so. With Halloween, Elections and my husband's tests for back surgery, it has been more overwhelming than I think it should (I know, bad word).
Anyway- I have so much on my mind and am finding myself going back to drinking coffee, eating sugar and watching tv all day. I did a mental smack on my head today and told myself to get off the couch and exercise while I watched the tv (that helped a bit).
The thing is, I'm married to the military - something that was not the case when I did get married, but happened after much financial distress and marrital problems. My husband was previous Army before we married and was released after we married. However, he was unable to find happiness in a regular job and decided he missed the comraderie (sp?). I encouraged the National Guard and quickly realized that the "one weekend a month, 2 weeks a year" was a total myth (but he likes it). I've lived through 2 deployments (one in So. Cal. & one overseas to Iraq). I'm a mom of 2 and hated those deployments for my kids' sakes and being left alone.
So...to get to the point (in a roundabout way) - I've always had an issue with money - I get scared of not having enough (which happens a lot). I haven't worked since my pregnancy with my 2nd child (going on my 7th year now) and I have cooped myself up in the house in a town I hate to live in. We were supposed to move next month (the 4th time I've heard this) and now won't be until Summer due to my husband's job.
I'm really frustrated, upset, scared and feeling really claustrophobic. I live in a town where there is a huge commute to wherever you want to go (seriously, about 45 minutes to a "normal" town with actual stores and offices). I want to work to get out of the house, make some extra money and start using my brain again. However, I can't find work and not having luck online. I can't commute because of the issues with terraine up here and my husband will be doing the commuting until we leave (over 2 hours one direction).
UGH!!! I know I'm being negative, but I'm feeling so afraid. We have just barely enough to live on and I will be getting seperated from my husband after we move back to our old "area" where we're from (and he will be working). We've decided to work everything out for the kids (stay friends and share custody), but I have to provide for myself. I can't get a job up here to start saving and I can't commute due to the kids needing me around. The online jobs I'm finding are either a joke, don't pay enough, or I'm bidding against 50 people for it.
I'm not expecting a solution, but I would appreciate just a little "hug" to push me in the right direction. I know I've had my good and bad days, but I needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for listening. -J
Trying to get things straight again
Here is the "hug" you need to get you through this. I understand your anxiety about money. I am on a day-to-day basis with my job right now. I keep thinking to myself that the economy is so bad right now, I just know that I am not the only one going through this. Just remember you are not alone. Posting on this site is just as healing as writing it in your journal, only you get to share with others to know they are going through the same stuff. Hang in there.
LisaLisa
LisaLisa
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Guest
Yup, we're a "journal" that hugs back!
Hug, hug.
It really sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now. There seem to be obstacles and conflicts in every direction. Perhaps just pull out one small piece to work on? For example, if you need to be away from the kids to work then they will need to be with someone for that time. Could you try to solve that one issue? Who would the kids stay with while you are working. Once you have that figured out, then perhaps you'll have success with the next piece as in where you will work.
Another thing to consider is contacting a agency that hires out temporary workers. This way you can take a job for a day or a week or a month and get your experience back and get used to working again. If you have sudden kid issues while on a temporary job it won't ruin your job for a longer time if as it might if the job were full-time & permanent. So it gives everyone time to adjust.
Hug, hug.
It really sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now. There seem to be obstacles and conflicts in every direction. Perhaps just pull out one small piece to work on? For example, if you need to be away from the kids to work then they will need to be with someone for that time. Could you try to solve that one issue? Who would the kids stay with while you are working. Once you have that figured out, then perhaps you'll have success with the next piece as in where you will work.
Another thing to consider is contacting a agency that hires out temporary workers. This way you can take a job for a day or a week or a month and get your experience back and get used to working again. If you have sudden kid issues while on a temporary job it won't ruin your job for a longer time if as it might if the job were full-time & permanent. So it gives everyone time to adjust.
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Guest
Hi nspyredj , I wish I could give you a great big hug. I think it would make us both feel better. Ive been lacking motivation also and not doing the things I need to do also and Ive been paying the price the last few days with extra anxiety and rapid heartbeat, etc..
I havent been online in almost a month and stalled out on the program at week 3. But I did just finish reading Lucinda's book from Panic To Power so I am trying not to beat myself up to badly , not doing so well though. I am so glad I logged on tonight. I have just been reading eveyone's posts and I dont feel as alone and hopeless as I did earlier. I am going to get back on the program. Please feel free to Pm me anytime. I will be coming back here daily. This place is so wonderful and it gives me hope and anything that I can do to help another feel better helps me to feel better also. May God bless each and everyone one of us.
I havent been online in almost a month and stalled out on the program at week 3. But I did just finish reading Lucinda's book from Panic To Power so I am trying not to beat myself up to badly , not doing so well though. I am so glad I logged on tonight. I have just been reading eveyone's posts and I dont feel as alone and hopeless as I did earlier. I am going to get back on the program. Please feel free to Pm me anytime. I will be coming back here daily. This place is so wonderful and it gives me hope and anything that I can do to help another feel better helps me to feel better also. May God bless each and everyone one of us.
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Guest
((((nspyredj))))),
((((pipermarie))),
I am sorry for all the obstacles and conflict in your life/lives. I wondered why I hadn't seen you on the forums for so long and wish I could say something to take away all your worries as I can relate to several of them very well. Life can eat us up and it's so easy to get into a deep dark hole with all the worries about lack of money, living somewhere we don't like, being away from friends and family, living so far from civilization, not having a job, etc. are some of the issues I live with and try to block those problems from my thoughts simply because I can't do anything about most of them right now. All we can do is to try our best to know that life does change for the good and maybe it will happen sooner than we think it will when we worry about all the tomorrows instead of the precious moments of this day only. It is not easy but we can do anything we really want to if we don't let our minds get bogged down with so much clutter and just live an hour and a day at a time. That's what I'm working on along with keeping busy writing any thoughts I have in my journal and posting really does help me. You are all such great people and I pray that you will feel inner peace and soon.
Take care,
Be Well
((((pipermarie))),
I am sorry for all the obstacles and conflict in your life/lives. I wondered why I hadn't seen you on the forums for so long and wish I could say something to take away all your worries as I can relate to several of them very well. Life can eat us up and it's so easy to get into a deep dark hole with all the worries about lack of money, living somewhere we don't like, being away from friends and family, living so far from civilization, not having a job, etc. are some of the issues I live with and try to block those problems from my thoughts simply because I can't do anything about most of them right now. All we can do is to try our best to know that life does change for the good and maybe it will happen sooner than we think it will when we worry about all the tomorrows instead of the precious moments of this day only. It is not easy but we can do anything we really want to if we don't let our minds get bogged down with so much clutter and just live an hour and a day at a time. That's what I'm working on along with keeping busy writing any thoughts I have in my journal and posting really does help me. You are all such great people and I pray that you will feel inner peace and soon.
Take care,
Be Well