I reached out to an ex...

Pujols5 · Post by **Pujols5** » Thu Aug 28, 2008 7:13 am

Good point. I wouldn't like it but if he didn't cross any lines I wouldn't be too judgemental.

I had to forgive my father for having an affair when I was five. I grew up not knowing whether he was coming home or not. I think my grandfather had an affair. By not going through with it and learning a lesson in avoiding temptation hopefully I will have broke the cycle.

Where do you like to go in Hawaii? I have been to Diamond Head once, Kauii, Big Island, and Wailea in Maui. I liked Wailea best.

Pujols5 · Post by **Pujols5** » Thu Aug 28, 2008 8:47 am

Hawaiihereicome:

Thanks for your concern and compassion when just about everyone else wanted to run me out of here.

I will send you a PM next week on how it goes.

I have to wait awhile to talk b/c I don't want to ruin our holiday weekend with all of this. Tuesday is my b-day. Not that I deserve a very good one this year.

Thanks again.

P.S. Your husband is lucky to have such an understanding wife!

proudmomof2 · Post by **proudmomof2** » Tue Sep 02, 2008 6:54 am

Your welcome Pujols. I have learned to live by the biblical saying, "to err is human, but to forgive is divine." Not that it is always easy that's for sure. It took a good 4 years for me to get to the point I am at now where I can trust again. I still have days where doubts enter, but now, having gone through it all, I can push them aside and know I will be fine whatever may come. It was a learning experience that really showed me how strong I was.

I agree, don't pick the holiday as the time to talk to your wife. Enjoy that time as a family.

When you do decide to talk with her, make sure it is a time and place you can be alone and devote your full attention. I wouldn't make any snap decisions at this point, unless you have completed the program and you feel you are in the position to do so, which I don't think you are.

Be honest, but know what it is your being honest about. My best. I will look for your PM.

freedarnell · Post by **freedarnell** » Tue Sep 02, 2008 7:39 am

Admiring the outlook of Hawaiihereicome & Pujols5. I believe in generational curse. many things that u as well as many of your family members have been in a situation or 2 somtime or other it may not be an affair but crime, knowing how to manage money abusive realtionship or even dishonesty. These curse are passed down which no one confronts neither take on the issue. which we pass it down to our children. I am dealing with 2 curses now which I know is in my family but is having a major issue coping with that is Nervousness & Procrastination. I need to leave my wife right now and have the fear of stepping out because of the nervousness which brought fear.

proudmomof2 · Post by **proudmomof2** » Thu Sep 04, 2008 6:50 am

Why must you leave your wife? How is nervousness and procrastination holding you back? Are you no longer in love with your wife and have been putting off leaving her? Please explain if you would like to talk.

Faith_TX · Post by **Faith_TX** » Wed Oct 08, 2008 5:52 am

I just noticed this post. How are things going?

Pujols5 · Post by **Pujols5** » Mon Oct 13, 2008 4:06 am

Thanks for asking Faith and if you are a Long Horns fan my congratulations on your #1 ranking (from a Notre Dame fan)

I rediscovered my conscience and told my wife about my email relationship with my ex. To her credit she was very understanding. Almost too much so. I know she would be and maybe that was why I was so defensive and insistent that I hadn't done a really bad thing.

We are in counseling. The good news is that the fights are less frequent. The bad news is that we still don't have much to talk about other than our daughter.

Bottom line - I am trying to work it out if anything for my daughter's sake. I know that I should love my wife but I am just not feeling it right now. If anything she should not be feeling it for me. In a fair and just world that would be the case.

We are on the same page that if we don't get our house in order in the next year it is time to move on.

I should feel anxious about this "crisis" but amazingly I don't.

Faith_TX · Post by **Faith_TX** » Mon Oct 13, 2008 4:58 am

I'm sorry you're going through this. Please try to hang in there. Marriage is hard at times and if we only follow our heart, it can deceive us. We just watched "Fireproof" last night and it is all so true.