Unreality, spacey, derealization
I just wanted to know how many out there suffer from this symptom. This is really the main thing that has always bothered me when I am going through these “episodes” of anxiety. I say “episodes” because what happens with me is that I will get myself worked up with scary thoughts and what if thinking for about a month, and then the symptom of derealization/unreality appears and doesn’t leave. This first occurred in 1993 and lasted for about 9 months and then it re-occurred in 2000 and lasted for about 8 months. It returned in August of 2008 and has been there since. In-between these periods my anxiety is minimal. Just wanted some advice.
Hi MattM27-
I know what you're going through. I'm going through one now and the biggest issue with me, when it is happening is I can't remember how to finish sentences. I sound unintelligent and like an airhead. It drives me nuts because I usually am so much more (can't think of the word - see what I mean?) - intellectual and able to come up with words on the spot.
The thing that is hardest is that I'm a writer and, once was, a fairly good entreprenuer. Unfortunately, I spend so much time having to look things up or try to remember what I was saying or doing that I can't pull off a business any longer.
The one thing I did notice is that when I'm not taking care of myself (eating right, exercising and sleeping), I will get these spacey episodes longer and more frequently. They go hand in hand with the anxiety and "what-if" thinking because I get depressed and eat or don't sleep or just don't want to exercise. So - that is something that I have to watch too.
It's hard to keep the what-ifs and the negative thoughts out of my head. I've been offline and not doing my program for over 2 weeks because I can't seem to stick with week 3's assignment of writing down the negative thoughts and turning them into something positive.
We're all here to help out. I know you are searching for an answer, as we all are. I think that the first thing I can offer is to take better care of yourself (as I must do as well). I think that will help aleviate the episodes.
I wish you luck and success on your journey to finding the peace and accomplishments you deserve. -J
I know what you're going through. I'm going through one now and the biggest issue with me, when it is happening is I can't remember how to finish sentences. I sound unintelligent and like an airhead. It drives me nuts because I usually am so much more (can't think of the word - see what I mean?) - intellectual and able to come up with words on the spot.
The thing that is hardest is that I'm a writer and, once was, a fairly good entreprenuer. Unfortunately, I spend so much time having to look things up or try to remember what I was saying or doing that I can't pull off a business any longer.
The one thing I did notice is that when I'm not taking care of myself (eating right, exercising and sleeping), I will get these spacey episodes longer and more frequently. They go hand in hand with the anxiety and "what-if" thinking because I get depressed and eat or don't sleep or just don't want to exercise. So - that is something that I have to watch too.
It's hard to keep the what-ifs and the negative thoughts out of my head. I've been offline and not doing my program for over 2 weeks because I can't seem to stick with week 3's assignment of writing down the negative thoughts and turning them into something positive.
We're all here to help out. I know you are searching for an answer, as we all are. I think that the first thing I can offer is to take better care of yourself (as I must do as well). I think that will help aleviate the episodes.
I wish you luck and success on your journey to finding the peace and accomplishments you deserve. -J
"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a beautiful butterfly."
Hi Matt,
know exactly how you feel. I have the same problem...I start thinking that my life isn't real and I feel like I am in a movie. I then start to have really weird analyzations of things like "how do we live", "How do we breathe" etc. and then I get myself really worked up. I keep trying to reassure myself that this is my brain's way of protecting me from all of the stress. It, in my opinion, is the scariest symptom of all. You try to exaplin it to people and no one understands. I ahve had it off and on for the last year. Just keep trying to do positive self-talk. Yes, it is a very common symptom!
know exactly how you feel. I have the same problem...I start thinking that my life isn't real and I feel like I am in a movie. I then start to have really weird analyzations of things like "how do we live", "How do we breathe" etc. and then I get myself really worked up. I keep trying to reassure myself that this is my brain's way of protecting me from all of the stress. It, in my opinion, is the scariest symptom of all. You try to exaplin it to people and no one understands. I ahve had it off and on for the last year. Just keep trying to do positive self-talk. Yes, it is a very common symptom!
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Gingerbell
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Tue Oct 07, 2008 2:19 pm
This is my main symptom too... I feel like I could handle panicking or even feeling general uneasiness, worry, and anxiety if I felt more like myself and less "spacey." It's a difficult symptom to describe to other people-- even my closest friends can look at me in complete confusion and give up talking about it when I try to describe it.
It gets especially strong when I try to go for walks around my neighborhood by myself. My mind feels like it's wandering, but I can't track where it's going or what it's thinking. I feel like my reflexes are non-existent, like I'm about to forget where I am, my vision feels obscured or closing in at the sides or like I'm wearing someone else's glasses or something...
It makes me just plain not feel like myself and frustrated and depressed. But mostly confused. If I could sum up the experience and wear it on a T-shirt while it happens, it would be "alzheimer's at 27."
When it first started a few months ago and was at its strongest, I thought I would never feel like myself again. Since I still have that general feeling all the time, I sometimes feel like I never will feel like myself. So lately I've been trying to be gentler to this "new me" and resisting the spacey feelings less. Or I'll go through some old photos or books I have or knick-knacks I like and try to access some old memories to remind myself I am still the same person.
I think spacey feelings are the mind's way of "not dealing" with something that's bothering you, or escaping from an undesirable situation. When I was 15, I was hit by a car while riding my bike; and after it happened I couldn't really remember the experience. I remember seeing the car coming at me from a few feet away, then seeing the sky, then the ground, then "waking up" with people around me- even though I never hit my head or lost consciousness. I can't remember physically feeling anything at all- like the car underneath me, the impact of hitting the ground- anything. I read somewhere that the mind will block memories like that to protect itself so you don't feel it all the way and remember painful experiences.
I think spacey feelings of unreality are like a lower dose of what happened to me when I got hit by a car. The mind's way of slightly escaping to protect itself from anxiety, perhaps? So maybe the antidote to the spacey feelings are to let yourself feel spacey and let your mind escape... or to get rid of the situation that is causing your mind to want to escape. That's the hard part: figuring out what it is you want to escape from and then learning to accept it. I'm still working on that...
It gets especially strong when I try to go for walks around my neighborhood by myself. My mind feels like it's wandering, but I can't track where it's going or what it's thinking. I feel like my reflexes are non-existent, like I'm about to forget where I am, my vision feels obscured or closing in at the sides or like I'm wearing someone else's glasses or something...
It makes me just plain not feel like myself and frustrated and depressed. But mostly confused. If I could sum up the experience and wear it on a T-shirt while it happens, it would be "alzheimer's at 27."
When it first started a few months ago and was at its strongest, I thought I would never feel like myself again. Since I still have that general feeling all the time, I sometimes feel like I never will feel like myself. So lately I've been trying to be gentler to this "new me" and resisting the spacey feelings less. Or I'll go through some old photos or books I have or knick-knacks I like and try to access some old memories to remind myself I am still the same person.
I think spacey feelings are the mind's way of "not dealing" with something that's bothering you, or escaping from an undesirable situation. When I was 15, I was hit by a car while riding my bike; and after it happened I couldn't really remember the experience. I remember seeing the car coming at me from a few feet away, then seeing the sky, then the ground, then "waking up" with people around me- even though I never hit my head or lost consciousness. I can't remember physically feeling anything at all- like the car underneath me, the impact of hitting the ground- anything. I read somewhere that the mind will block memories like that to protect itself so you don't feel it all the way and remember painful experiences.
I think spacey feelings of unreality are like a lower dose of what happened to me when I got hit by a car. The mind's way of slightly escaping to protect itself from anxiety, perhaps? So maybe the antidote to the spacey feelings are to let yourself feel spacey and let your mind escape... or to get rid of the situation that is causing your mind to want to escape. That's the hard part: figuring out what it is you want to escape from and then learning to accept it. I'm still working on that...
Matt - I could have typed your post. This is my main problem. The thing that bothers me the most. If I could control this, everything else would be better. I went through this back in the mid 90's. It went away after I was able to occupy my mind with other thoughts. It came back this past May after 2 intense panic attacks. Its not with me 24/7 but it seems I am always guarding against it happening again. I have heard similar things to what gingerbell has said. It is our body's way of protecting us. We should look at it as a good thing. Hard to do though when it is so disturbing.
Do other people agree? What have others been told?
This is the reason I bought the program. I can deal with panic attacks, nervousness and other symptoms. I just have a hard time with this because it seems to come and go without any real reasoning.
Do other people agree? What have others been told?
This is the reason I bought the program. I can deal with panic attacks, nervousness and other symptoms. I just have a hard time with this because it seems to come and go without any real reasoning.
Thanks for all of the in-put so far on this subject. Like I said before, I have had a lot of experience with this symptom over the past 15 years. This is really the first time that I ever did anything pro-active about this. The last 2 times that it has happen, I just sat around and felt bad, mad, sad, depressed, anxious and frustrated. All I did was focus on this symptom. Gingerbell, I can tell you that this will go away, just as it came. I believe completely that this symptom stays around because we get sucked into deep introspective thought. All we can do is think about the feelings we are having, and we keep checking to see if it’s there. From the moment I wake-up, I look around and say to myself “how do I feel, is that feeling still there, yup! It is! That feeling of being closed in or like you comparing it to looking through someone else’s prescription glasses. The veil of derealization lifts when you are ready to let it go.
You ask yourself, how can I forget about this symptom if it’s always there? It’s part of the way that I see things. That’s like having a head ach and saying that if you forget about the pain, it will not be there any more. Now that I am giving this some deeper thought, I think this symptom occurs when I have had too much to drink. But during those times I always accepted it because I could link it to something. Being drunk made me feel that way; it didn’t scare me because I rationalized it. It’s when it appears for no reason that you get scared and focus on it. But there really is a reason, like you guys said, it your brain taking a mini vacation because you have exhausted it from being so anxious all the time. Your caught-up in that vicious cycle of worry, fear and focus. You want it to go away so bad, and you try really hard to make that happen. But this action keeps those feelings around.
I can’t remember when it went away the last two times; I just know that it did, when I stopped worrying about. BUT THAT’S SO HARD TO DO!!!
You ask yourself, how can I forget about this symptom if it’s always there? It’s part of the way that I see things. That’s like having a head ach and saying that if you forget about the pain, it will not be there any more. Now that I am giving this some deeper thought, I think this symptom occurs when I have had too much to drink. But during those times I always accepted it because I could link it to something. Being drunk made me feel that way; it didn’t scare me because I rationalized it. It’s when it appears for no reason that you get scared and focus on it. But there really is a reason, like you guys said, it your brain taking a mini vacation because you have exhausted it from being so anxious all the time. Your caught-up in that vicious cycle of worry, fear and focus. You want it to go away so bad, and you try really hard to make that happen. But this action keeps those feelings around.
I can’t remember when it went away the last two times; I just know that it did, when I stopped worrying about. BUT THAT’S SO HARD TO DO!!!
wow this must be in the air i was going to write a post about this. On week 3 of my meds and i feel like the depression and anxiety is def not as bad Yet I am getting a lot of derealization and I don't like this at all. Maybe it's because I don't know how else to feel since i'm not as depressed or anxious anymore? I just feel like my surroundings are very unfamiliar and than I'll look at my bf and think if i still love him and whats the purpose of life, whats the point etc etc. . . I hate it. I notice i am mostly getting this when i am exhausted. i know once you stop worrying about it and the less u let it bother you it slowly goes away. . .
"Come to me, all who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28)"
Matt,
I know EXACTLY how you feel and as you can see, many others do as well. This year was my first time experiencing the DP/DR. I'm typically a very confident, outgoing, life-of-the-party type of guy (so I'd like to think)
Anyway, after some serious anxiety that started last November, I sought-out therapy. No meds, but A LOT of reflection, research, etc. I became a bit withdrawn because the anxiety made me want to avoid hanging-out and doing the social things I used to do for fear of fielding the "Are you okay" or "You don't seem yourself", etc. All of of the things very familiar to me seemed to fade and I slipped into this DP/DR. SCARED THE $H!T out of me! I still deal with it. It's been since about March I guess. On and off...mostly on. I've learned to deal with it and when I'm occupied it doesn't exists so much. When I have time to reflect, I begin to question what's real or not. I seem to loose context. Question dream vs reality, etc. Trust me...I get it. Your statement about waking-up in the morning and questioning if the feeling is still there was spot-on! I actually chuckled.
Hang in there man! You've experienced it go away for years and come back. It went away before...it will again. PM me if you want to chat with someone who can relate.
I know EXACTLY how you feel and as you can see, many others do as well. This year was my first time experiencing the DP/DR. I'm typically a very confident, outgoing, life-of-the-party type of guy (so I'd like to think)
Anyway, after some serious anxiety that started last November, I sought-out therapy. No meds, but A LOT of reflection, research, etc. I became a bit withdrawn because the anxiety made me want to avoid hanging-out and doing the social things I used to do for fear of fielding the "Are you okay" or "You don't seem yourself", etc. All of of the things very familiar to me seemed to fade and I slipped into this DP/DR. SCARED THE $H!T out of me! I still deal with it. It's been since about March I guess. On and off...mostly on. I've learned to deal with it and when I'm occupied it doesn't exists so much. When I have time to reflect, I begin to question what's real or not. I seem to loose context. Question dream vs reality, etc. Trust me...I get it. Your statement about waking-up in the morning and questioning if the feeling is still there was spot-on! I actually chuckled.
Hang in there man! You've experienced it go away for years and come back. It went away before...it will again. PM me if you want to chat with someone who can relate.
I know exactly what everyone is talking about here as I get this too. It's like you just get this hazy, disconnected feeling and sometimes tunnel vision. Or sometimes things seem too bright or too loud or too intense. That happens with me. Sometimes I get head rushes too. Or kind of a weird feeling, and this is hard to explain, like I'm going to fall backwards? Even though I'm not up on anything high.
Sometimes, and this is another weird thing, but you know the feeling you get when you're about to fall asleep and you jerk yourself awake? This doesn't happen often, but it's like my brain wakes itself back up with a split second, I guess for lack of a better work, brain jerk?
My Doctor says it's anxiety. I am so glad that I found this program.
Sometimes, and this is another weird thing, but you know the feeling you get when you're about to fall asleep and you jerk yourself awake? This doesn't happen often, but it's like my brain wakes itself back up with a split second, I guess for lack of a better work, brain jerk?
My Doctor says it's anxiety. I am so glad that I found this program.