cfe,
Where exactly is this "program" located youre referring to? Is it free and how do I get started?
Ive never been a stressed out person or suffered from headaches until Mar-April of this year. Im hoping it is work related and a change of careers will result in the symptoms disappearing. Ive had all sorts of tests done by doctors and they havent found a thing.
Separation from the "stressor"
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Guest
The program we are all talking about is Lucinda Bassett"s Combatting Stress and Depression Program. It is not free but well worth every penny you pay for it. Coincidently you are actually posting on the website associated to this program and you can order it right here! It really does help so I would encourage anyone to utilize it.
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Guest
Go to the top of the page, and click on "The Program, you can try it free for 30 days now I am told,
The key is in changing you not your circumstances, not your spouse, not your job, you are the only one you can change that makes any lasting difference in your life, the problem is within you, not what you are doing, or who you are with. It is easier to blame others, for you mood swings, and inability to do what you have to do in this culture to survive.
I know I became impossible to get along with, I couldn't even trust me to accomplish my own appointed tasks in a day. everything upset me, and I had no focus in life. I found part of it was environmental, witch made it important to change my diet,and get A/C in my house. but the underlying problem was my inability to give it up, live and let live, to have fun was all gone. Lucinda's program has turned all of that around for me.
Just do it the way it is presented, on lesson a week, personally I had to learn to lighten up on myself rite off as I didn't feel I did it perfectly, so I had to do it over, or slower, nearly messed it up too, like the rest of my life. finally I got a coach to help me, but I didn't know about the forum, it is helpful, although the coach was wonderful and now she is a friend for life any time I need a nudge I can call or email her for that affirmation that helps so much. I just had a few emails with here this week. it was totally worth it to me, but it isn't free. But the tools I learned in this program as given me, true freedom
The key is in changing you not your circumstances, not your spouse, not your job, you are the only one you can change that makes any lasting difference in your life, the problem is within you, not what you are doing, or who you are with. It is easier to blame others, for you mood swings, and inability to do what you have to do in this culture to survive.
I know I became impossible to get along with, I couldn't even trust me to accomplish my own appointed tasks in a day. everything upset me, and I had no focus in life. I found part of it was environmental, witch made it important to change my diet,and get A/C in my house. but the underlying problem was my inability to give it up, live and let live, to have fun was all gone. Lucinda's program has turned all of that around for me.
Just do it the way it is presented, on lesson a week, personally I had to learn to lighten up on myself rite off as I didn't feel I did it perfectly, so I had to do it over, or slower, nearly messed it up too, like the rest of my life. finally I got a coach to help me, but I didn't know about the forum, it is helpful, although the coach was wonderful and now she is a friend for life any time I need a nudge I can call or email her for that affirmation that helps so much. I just had a few emails with here this week. it was totally worth it to me, but it isn't free. But the tools I learned in this program as given me, true freedom
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Guest
CFE
That was such a great response to this topic. Altough I'm still trying to recover from anxiety, I truly believe the response you gave. We do have to lower our expectations of others and realize we need to focus on making changes to ourselves because we will face dissappointments and the unexpected in life whereever we are and it is really how we respond to them that makes the difference. The quote/statement that you made at the end was also inspirational. I'm looking forward to getting better as I go further along the program
That was such a great response to this topic. Altough I'm still trying to recover from anxiety, I truly believe the response you gave. We do have to lower our expectations of others and realize we need to focus on making changes to ourselves because we will face dissappointments and the unexpected in life whereever we are and it is really how we respond to them that makes the difference. The quote/statement that you made at the end was also inspirational. I'm looking forward to getting better as I go further along the program
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Guest
cfePosts: 7 | Location: Pelzer, SC | Registered: August 18, 2008 Reply With Quote
If someone is in an abusive relationship staying may not be the best answer. Demanding respect may make things worse. Showing them "respect" is what is they want. An abuser has a twisted meaning for respect. Respect to them is bowing to there every whim. Doing exactly what they say. Most times if you try to receive respect you are promptly put in your place.
In a healthy relationship respect is automatically there. You shouldn't have to demand it. Every marriage has flaws but abuse is not something anyone should take lightly. Be it verbal, emotional or physical. If they are abusing you then in all reality they are the ones in need of professional help.
I do think that eliminating a stressor can make a world of difference. You need to be prepared for the change. It's not a good idea to leave a job unless you have means of providing for yourself. Otherwise you could fall into a state of depression or worry. Same goes for a relationship. Make sure it is what you want. Don't do it just because you think it's gonna be a quick fix. I know first hand about make the wrong the decisions because you think it will make all of this go away. It is to easy to over analyze everything trying to come up with some kind of "solution" to your problem. There is a reason why we are like this. We just need to find out for sure what it is before making any irrational decisions and possibly making things worse. If you know for sure that your job or your relationship is the root of your problem then definitely come up with a plan to change things. Just be sure to do it in a way that's not gonna put more stress in your life.
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Guest
For myself, even when Im away from work I experience some of the tension headaches and fatigue. Its not quite a intense, but still present.
Also, at my job, there are days that arent as busy and stressful as others. Even on these less stressful days I still feel the symptoms of stress. Again, its not as intense as our super busy hectic days at work but present none the less.
Im wondering if its because in my mind I have grown to dispise it so much that I just cannot stand being there so even when Im away or working on a slower non-hectic day I still am bothered by the symptoms of stress and as the week progresses and gets busier, the symptoms worsen.
Also, at my job, there are days that arent as busy and stressful as others. Even on these less stressful days I still feel the symptoms of stress. Again, its not as intense as our super busy hectic days at work but present none the less.
Im wondering if its because in my mind I have grown to dispise it so much that I just cannot stand being there so even when Im away or working on a slower non-hectic day I still am bothered by the symptoms of stress and as the week progresses and gets busier, the symptoms worsen.
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Guest
Dear a new me,
Thank you for your post. I myself feel that the core reason for my anxiety is being married to a person that I feel is not the one for me. The decision to get married was much too quick and I was not mature enough ( or strong enough) to back out early on. We've been married for 20 years, and at some point all the stress of the marriage just became too much and my anxiety came out. Kind of like a volcano where the pressure builds up inside, and eventually it explodes.
I'm now doing the program, and while I know and feel it's helping me, I still wonder if I'm ever going to really get healed, if the source of my anxiety is my husband and our relationship? I'm trying to just focus on the weekly tapes and the workbook assignments, yet I still have this larger question always looming in the back of my mind.
I just so want to be in a warm, loving relationship. He's not a bad person, it's just that we never really "clicked" on a deep level.There's no real love...
with sadness,
Elisheva
Thank you for your post. I myself feel that the core reason for my anxiety is being married to a person that I feel is not the one for me. The decision to get married was much too quick and I was not mature enough ( or strong enough) to back out early on. We've been married for 20 years, and at some point all the stress of the marriage just became too much and my anxiety came out. Kind of like a volcano where the pressure builds up inside, and eventually it explodes.
I'm now doing the program, and while I know and feel it's helping me, I still wonder if I'm ever going to really get healed, if the source of my anxiety is my husband and our relationship? I'm trying to just focus on the weekly tapes and the workbook assignments, yet I still have this larger question always looming in the back of my mind.
I just so want to be in a warm, loving relationship. He's not a bad person, it's just that we never really "clicked" on a deep level.There's no real love...
with sadness,
Elisheva
If someone is in an abusive relationship staying may not be the best answer.
(:a new me:)
I understand that only to well, my daughter was married to a verbally abusive to the point of brain washing. She stayed with him for 15 years I didn't see her for years at a time, or their the 2 retarded boys. I finally had to give her up, to God as there was nothing I could do about that. Finally a few months after I told God "if this is what it takes to bring her back to You then so be it." It was like when I stooped trying my way God was free to get her out. she came part way home it took a few months for her to trust me, after all he had tried to make her believe. She was on drugs the philologists gave her to help her live with him, I found a book, about the problem, I gave it to a girl caught in the same thing with her mother in law, the Book is "Stop walking on egg shells" and it talks about, this problem, exactly like he is, first I gave it to my daughter and she read it, and realized what had happened to her, every time the philologist figured out he was the problem, he would take her to a different philologist. Because of the drugs she was on and her Dr. reports she had no chance of getting her boys. but God is protecting you can't brain wash retarded people. He is Mr. Total control, he even reefers to himself as that. She has been out now 3 years, and she is off all the drugs, and healthy again, she is teaching 5th grade and loving her life while she waits to try to get her boys when they are 18. the oldest will be this Dec. Everyone is amazed at how well she is, and most of our friends, who could not see it while they were together, he is so charming, believed she was sick in the head. Now they know better, and they want to string him up for what he obviously now did to her.
Still when she came out of there she was a mess, and this program was so good for her to learn so she could get brave enough to get back in to life. and trust herself again.
God Bless your heart dear, the key to knowing who you are!!!
(:a new me:)
I understand that only to well, my daughter was married to a verbally abusive to the point of brain washing. She stayed with him for 15 years I didn't see her for years at a time, or their the 2 retarded boys. I finally had to give her up, to God as there was nothing I could do about that. Finally a few months after I told God "if this is what it takes to bring her back to You then so be it." It was like when I stooped trying my way God was free to get her out. she came part way home it took a few months for her to trust me, after all he had tried to make her believe. She was on drugs the philologists gave her to help her live with him, I found a book, about the problem, I gave it to a girl caught in the same thing with her mother in law, the Book is "Stop walking on egg shells" and it talks about, this problem, exactly like he is, first I gave it to my daughter and she read it, and realized what had happened to her, every time the philologist figured out he was the problem, he would take her to a different philologist. Because of the drugs she was on and her Dr. reports she had no chance of getting her boys. but God is protecting you can't brain wash retarded people. He is Mr. Total control, he even reefers to himself as that. She has been out now 3 years, and she is off all the drugs, and healthy again, she is teaching 5th grade and loving her life while she waits to try to get her boys when they are 18. the oldest will be this Dec. Everyone is amazed at how well she is, and most of our friends, who could not see it while they were together, he is so charming, believed she was sick in the head. Now they know better, and they want to string him up for what he obviously now did to her.
Still when she came out of there she was a mess, and this program was so good for her to learn so she could get brave enough to get back in to life. and trust herself again.
God Bless your heart dear, the key to knowing who you are!!!
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Guest
Xl,
listen to (:a new me:), because that is really sound advice.
as i have told you before, my job was definetely a factor in my anxiety and eventual panic attacks. and 'like a new me' relates...my job treated me like that battered spouse. i was too scared to leave as it was better to dance with the devil i knew, then the one that i didn't.
so, like most battered spouses i stayed in an abusive relationship out of a greater fear of the unknown.
i too worked in a call center. mine was at a major insurance company.
prior to that, i worked as an auto damage estimator for the same company. every day, i was put in adversarial relationships with customers and body shops, bickering all day about pennies. needless to say, i am not a confrontational person. i used to get IBS on my way into work, constantly. i could not figure it out. i figured that it must be food poisoning, as the symptoms persisted for 1 month.
it was not until i went to the doctors office, ran every test imaginable, and found out that nothing was wrong. it was then concluded that i had anxiety.
the body shop that i worked at was high pressure, high stakes, and high volume. the clientele were high pressure people themselves, in a major metropolitan area. the shop liked to take advantage of the new guy (me), and all of this pressure to perform in my job, please my employer and the customer, AND reach a satisfactory rate with the shop proved overwhelming.
i transferred to another, less high-volume shop, and within weeks i was better.
so, make sure it is the job. and if so, find something else.
you are more important than your job. your health is more valuable than any dollar amount.
listen to (:a new me:), because that is really sound advice.
as i have told you before, my job was definetely a factor in my anxiety and eventual panic attacks. and 'like a new me' relates...my job treated me like that battered spouse. i was too scared to leave as it was better to dance with the devil i knew, then the one that i didn't.
so, like most battered spouses i stayed in an abusive relationship out of a greater fear of the unknown.
i too worked in a call center. mine was at a major insurance company.
prior to that, i worked as an auto damage estimator for the same company. every day, i was put in adversarial relationships with customers and body shops, bickering all day about pennies. needless to say, i am not a confrontational person. i used to get IBS on my way into work, constantly. i could not figure it out. i figured that it must be food poisoning, as the symptoms persisted for 1 month.
it was not until i went to the doctors office, ran every test imaginable, and found out that nothing was wrong. it was then concluded that i had anxiety.
the body shop that i worked at was high pressure, high stakes, and high volume. the clientele were high pressure people themselves, in a major metropolitan area. the shop liked to take advantage of the new guy (me), and all of this pressure to perform in my job, please my employer and the customer, AND reach a satisfactory rate with the shop proved overwhelming.
i transferred to another, less high-volume shop, and within weeks i was better.
so, make sure it is the job. and if so, find something else.
you are more important than your job. your health is more valuable than any dollar amount.