SO I am having a roller coaster of a trip this week. I am so up and down. I came into chat which usually helps and instead I left feeling worse. First I feel bad because I am having a crappy day. Then I feel bad because someone in chat says nasty things. Then I feel worse because it is pointed out that I am just victim thinking. I hate myself. If this is what I do and it is so obvious to everyone else that I am acting like a poor little pathetic victim, I guess I am stuck.
I don't know how pointing out my weakness when I am down is suppose to help. How am I supposed to feel, please, someone tell me? If I am doing this wrong then fine...just say so. I feel like quitting. I feel like never going back to chat again. I feel like there is something more wrong with me than with anyone else in there. Well and here comes another little victim thought, why do the rules only apply to some people and not everyone? Why is it okay for one person to act like a jerk and it be acceptable but someone else makes a boo boo and we pound them because they haven't been going to chat for years and years? Seems fair.
Right...Lucinda says Lifes not Fair. When am I going to just accept that? Whatever.
I am really feeling like I hate myself
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Guest
Do you yourself feel like a victim? I mean i have so many problems I feel and i always think "Why me???" or i think i wish i was like someone else without all these problems. Does that mean i am victim thinking? I don't know. . I think a lot of us think "why me" have victim thinking. especially when we are so low. I dont know your story Roxann but if people are telling you nasty things, don't even bother going back to chat or better, talk it out with that person/s. Im sorry youre having a bad time but don't put yourself down. it wont help your progress. . its easy to say i guess. . but practice on positive thinking!
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Guest
Hey Roxann! I just started this program a few weeks ago. I can't seem to get passsed sessions 3 & 4. When they asked in the wkbk to name 100 positive things in my life, I was stuped. Still am thinking about it! How sad is that?! You're awfully hard on yourself & obviously have some self esteem issues, as do I. This program will help, if you let us in & are willing to get help. Life sucks 90% of the time & can be hard, but it can also be beautiful! Let the beauty in, acceept it! You are worthy of a good life! Yesterday I had a really bad day & the day before was one of my best! Can't explain or figure it out! I call it black & whte like Lucinda says. We have no in between colors in our debilitating lives. Today was okay! Okay is good enough for me to look forward to tomorrow! Only you can change your frame of mind! I know, cuz I did it yesterday, against all odds. Wasn;' a great day, but I turned it from worst to not so bad, you can do it too!!! Good luck! Never give-up hope & stay in touch with those who care & connect! No, I'm not recovered yet, but I do see the light! Hope you find your way to the light of recovery too! Hope is on every horizon, dare we look for it!
Your new friend/support,
Julene G.
Your new friend/support,
Julene G.
We all choose how we will treat ourselves. NO ONE else can make us feel bad, but us, NO ONE. Do you understand why that so true?
If you choose to hate yourself, THAT IS YOUR CHOICE, not somebody elses.
I sympathize with having down times. I have them too. But choosing to hate yourself will only make you worse, not better.
I have had a few friends on this forum when I was struggling that really helped me accept myself as I was, not how I wanted to be. So, some group or external input was useful for me, sometimes we need that. But, I think that the more we can rely on ourselves to feel good about ourselves and less on others the better off and stronger we are. If chat helps you feel better that means that someone is providing words, i.e. thoughts, which help you think and therefore feel better. Feelings follow thoughts.
You have God-given worth not dependent upon your performance, i.e. how you speak or think. It is not dependent upon anyone recoginizing it, meaning it does not fluctuate based upon the opinions of others or how they respond to us. But, you yourself must believe this, and think this, especially when you perceive that someone says something mean or ugly to you.
Why would you allow someone else's behavior to determine your recovery? It doesn't make sense does it? When you begin to stop depending on others for your own emotional stability or instability and begin to treat yourself with respect and love and think this way, you will begin to recover to balanced emotional health which is not dependent on others recognition of it.
Don't allow others to determine how emotionally stable you can be today. This simply doesn't work. Build self worth and self esteem from within yourself by using the skills of the program.
If you choose to hate yourself, THAT IS YOUR CHOICE, not somebody elses.
I sympathize with having down times. I have them too. But choosing to hate yourself will only make you worse, not better.
I have had a few friends on this forum when I was struggling that really helped me accept myself as I was, not how I wanted to be. So, some group or external input was useful for me, sometimes we need that. But, I think that the more we can rely on ourselves to feel good about ourselves and less on others the better off and stronger we are. If chat helps you feel better that means that someone is providing words, i.e. thoughts, which help you think and therefore feel better. Feelings follow thoughts.
You have God-given worth not dependent upon your performance, i.e. how you speak or think. It is not dependent upon anyone recoginizing it, meaning it does not fluctuate based upon the opinions of others or how they respond to us. But, you yourself must believe this, and think this, especially when you perceive that someone says something mean or ugly to you.
Why would you allow someone else's behavior to determine your recovery? It doesn't make sense does it? When you begin to stop depending on others for your own emotional stability or instability and begin to treat yourself with respect and love and think this way, you will begin to recover to balanced emotional health which is not dependent on others recognition of it.
Don't allow others to determine how emotionally stable you can be today. This simply doesn't work. Build self worth and self esteem from within yourself by using the skills of the program.