I have been working on the program since about December. I am on session 10, and I am also seeing a private therapist and participating in some groups at Kaiser. I fell I have made some significant changes in my behavior and many people close to me have commented that I am doing so much better. Having someone recognize my hard work feels good, but I'm trying not to get too caught up in their approval, something I still struggle with. I know, like Lucinda says, the validation has to come from within.
Anyhow, I received a call from my mom, whom I have not spoken to in about three years. She was upset, crying and told me about her veterinarian that has been diagnosed with a terminal illness. I used to work for him ten years ago. So I am having so many feelings coming up about this phone call and I am trying to process them all, but it's hard. Worst of all my patience is thin and I know its because of all the emotions running from her phone call. I'm working this weekend and it's hectic and I'm trying not to snap at people, but it is difficult.
I think the good news is that I am aware of how I am feeling ,but I'm having a hard time not taking myself too seriously. I had a hard time in October last year, my anxiety and depression were at their worst, and I'm afraid of feeling that way again. I'm What if-ing a lot, and having difficulty staying in the moment. Anyhow, I'm glad that I can come here and read about others triumphs and daily battles with life.