Anxiety stemming from childhood?

aleisa123 · Post by **aleisa123** » Tue Apr 22, 2008 7:45 am

A psychiatrist at one of my groups told me that one of the number one predictors of depression is a stressful childhood. I grew up watching my parents fight. There was a lot of yelling and screaming and hitting. Then they got divorced when I was 5 and I was sent to live with my granparents. Talk about abandonment issues. I'm convinced that my mom has Borderline Personality disorder, after much reading on the subject. And I think I learned a lot of those traits from her. the same Dr told me that we grow up replaying our trauma, trying to make it come out right. We recreate our early pain trying to fix it. That's what causes a lot of our suffering.

I can remember having horrible stomachaches when my parents were fighting. And I'm still to this day struggling with childhood fears that "something bad will happen." or that the ones that I love will be taken away from me and I will be left all alone.

It takes a long time to heal these wounds and it is quite painful, but it can be done. There are days when i can see why my mom chooses to stay drunk, numbing her pain with alcohol because it is so hard at some times, but the good news is that once we move past these things there is so much life waiting for us. there is so much beauty in the world that we realize that we have choices. We can choose to stay in the past angry and sad for what we lost or what we did'nt have or we can enjoy the present and treat ourselves with the respect that we deserve.

Perfect Facade · Post by **Perfect Facade** » Tue Apr 22, 2008 4:36 pm

Yep, I can definitely relate. I've always been a huge scaredy cat, and when I was little it was to a pretty ridiculous level. I was afraid of the sand on the beach, thinking if I would walk on it then I would sink. I was also afraid of walking down steps, and walking on uneven cracks on the sidewalk. I also remembering being terrified of Halloween, just seeing the masks and etc. and being scared the entire week of it. To this day I am still scared of way too many things, but I have conquered a lot and am trying to overcome more day by day. Its just so weird to trace back your steps and realize that you really have dealt with anxiety since the getcho.

purplerose · Post by **purplerose** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:24 pm

ive always been a very sensitive scardy cat from the time i was very little. like i was scared to be potty trained just because it was different. i was always the type of kid that thought i wanted to try something and then id think eh never mind i dont want to. but i was pretty okay up until i started school. i had a lot of trouble with it starting in first grade and that really took a toll on me. seeing all the other kids doing well and me struggling to learn how to read. ever since then ive had trouble with school but it has gotten better with time. but it has always been a source of stress for me.i was smart it other ways so i compared myself to the other kids constantly. i still do this today. its a bad habit. then at the end of high school its like years of stress and worrying caught up with me and i got anxiety really bad. it took a while to figure out what it was so it kept getting worse cause i freaked out about the way i felt. but from the time i was little my parents said i hated change and i still do. so i think some of it has to do with your personality from birth and then other external factors can help fuel the fire. like it did with me.

debster · Post by **debster** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:49 pm

tweaky said it great about genetics loading it. my youngest daughter is a worrier, but since starting this program I am much better at calming her down. Now if someone had been there to do that for me (us) would we be here today? like others who have posted I remember all that worrying.
I really feel that this has made a big difference and maybe my kids won't be here one day

DebDeb · Post by **DebDeb** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 2:20 am

I definitely think 'learned behavior' from our
childhood has a lot to do with the anxiety following us thru adulthood.
I don't necessarily think that it is genetic but
rather learned from our parents and people around
us.
I know as a child I was always afraid of the doctor coming to give me a shot in the butt. I would run away to the bathroom and lock the door.
My mother would come & persuade me to come out.
& I would be crying and kicking with anticipation.
To this day I have a fear of doctors' which I am
working on thru the program.

There are very high anxiety people in my family and I grew up seeing a lot of anger, temper tantrums,
and negative unhealthy behaviors.
You get to think that this is normal.

sdhilde · Post by **sdhilde** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 9:31 am

WOW! Great topic. Where to start? I too had a not so secure childhood. Parents that were Alcohalics and one that was bipolar. However i was never told till i was 17 and was with my dad and he FLIPPED.That was pretty scary to see since i didn't understand.I Do Now! I thought that i was 19 when i had my first panic attack but the more i think about it i was probley just 3-4. I remember hiding in my closet when i would get so scared from my parents fighting or when my brother teased me so much. I strugle with low self asteam,always have.I grew up thinking no one loved me and that my family would be better off without me around so i would want to runaway or dye. How sad.I was a loner too. I had a few good friends but not many and certainly was scared to do sleepovers. I have come to peace with my childhood but i know that it set me up for how i deal with things today. I strugle with alot of things but just don't let anyone know. scared of what others will think of me. I have alot to be proud about but don't always give myself credit for what i have accompilshed.I am so excited about this program and hoping it is the tool i need to get on with my life and live it the way i would like to be and feel. I keep putting one foot infront of the other. Sarah

JudyR · Post by **JudyR** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 11:59 am

I sure think you can be more pre-disposed to anxiety and I know I was a sensitive kid but you can over come it if you learn to think more objectively. I beat my panic and manage my anxiety by countering my thoughts in tea forms and I handle life so much better now.