Agoraphobia

[Havefaith21]

Hey everyone. Im having such a hard time right now with everything. Im dealing with not being able to leave my house, and if i do its literally down the street, then i panic and turn right back around, its horrible. I hate that im going through this right now, I cry all the time about it. I had it once before and got out of it with the help of my mother, then a total shock happened, and my mom passed away in her sleep May 29th 2010, and i fell into the same crap again, Im depressed over losing my mother, She was fine the night before and then i just couldnt wake her up the next morning, I can still picture everything, that day. Its horrible. I miss her beyond words, and i feel so weak because she was my comfort, my safe person, the person i knew would be there for me through any and everything. I still cant believe all this is true... and to top if off im dealing with agoraphobia, i just feel lost. Anyone dealing with agoraphobia right now? if you would like to PM feel free.. By the way Im a 23 year old female from Ohio.

[BuckeyeBob]

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss, I know how that feels, I also lost my mom, and my dad, they were like my safe people and my source of comfort. I dealt with anxiety, panic, and agoraphobia for almost 20 years it was on, and off, it came and went. Each time I tried a new method of dealing with it I'd get all pumped up and feeling better, so I would make progress, then presto out of the blue, it would show up again just like most people say.

What I can tell you, is that this problem will need to be addressed with baby steps, because when youre agoraphobic you cant just jump in the car and expect to drive across town it usually wont work. You are the only one who can free yourself from the problem. You can however get the assistance of a good friend, or someone who understands and would just ride up the street with you, then turn around and come back. If you cant get anyone to ride with you then try it yourself but in small steps. Each time you do this, endorse yourself and feel proud that you make a step forward, and if you get panicky dont get discouraged, its never comfortable when we have to make changes. I got a lot of inspiration from a book called Free Yourself From Anxiety, its a short 240 page book, and its going to tell you the same thing the Anxiety program does on here only in a slightly different way.

When I read the book what really sticks in my mind is where it says " Remember the title of this book, Free Yourself From Anxiety , you have the power, and you are the only one who can do it for you" . Let me just say this, we DO have the power, the problem is we are afraid to use it, because we are afraid of the anxiety symptoms, so its more comfortable to stay home and just not venture out. Once I read this and I kept on repeating it, that I have the power, I began to do what it tells you to do, start setting small goals, and start working on them. It wasnt easy, there were many times that I turned around and came back home and felt miserable, but heres the important part, I didnt quit, I didnt give up, I said I am going to beat this thing, and slowly over time I did it. I went a little farther, then a little farther and each time I did I felt great. You can do it too, take one small step at a time. Just keep going up the street if thats as far as you can, and come back.. Keep doing this if you have to do it 100 times or more, then tell yourself you will go a couple of blocks farther, or even 200 feet farther doesnt matter as long as you go a little farther than before.

Remember another thing, you are your own safe person, and you will get past this, it will take small steps, and determination. You have my condolences for the loss of your mom, and I know you can do this. Cheer up, the good news is this problem is fixable.. I should know , after 20 years I fixed mine and kept it fixed for over 6 years now.

Don't get discouraged, that wont help anything. Put a smile on your face and tell that Agoraphobia its days are numbered... Good luck !

[SusantheChatterbox]

First off, cyber hugs are being sent to you hon. I can relate to this post more than you know. I am a 51 year old Mom/Gramma and I have been Agoraphobic to some degree for most of my life. Some years have been better than others. From the early 90s till 2005 I was virtually home bound, rarely leaving my house to go anywhere. I put off going to doctors regardless of how bad I needed one. Early in 2006 I decided I really wanted to try to get out so I gradually started going places in the car (with Gary being the sole driver) and by the latter part of 2006 I was pretty much able to go anywhere and everywhere in town. The only thing I hadn't accomplished back then was getting back on the highway. I haven't went on any road trips since Dec. 24th in the early 90s. On that night we were traveling from my parents home which was about a 35 minutes drive from our house, to another town which was not quite an hour from my parents house. We were heading to the hospital where my only sister was hospitalized at. It was her birthday and I wanted to be there to spend a little time with her. The weather had become very bad with sleet, blowing snow, and very cold temps. It was very nerve racking between the weather and 3 young kids in the back seat. I became so nervous that I had one of the worst panic attacks I had ever had, (or so I had thought at that time, many more followed). Needless to say that was the very last road trip for me. I would love to be able to go for a ride on the highway to see all the farm land and cattle grazing again, I miss that so much.

Anyway back to my story, I was getting close to trying the highway thing out early in 2007 and was so close to being able to live life more normally than I had in years. Unfortunately tragedy struck twice on March 12th and March 13th. On the afternoon of March 12th my Dad called to let me know that my only sister had been found passed away on the floor of her apartment from an drug induced coma from taking an overdose of her morphine and anxiety pills. I was devastated, in shock, and totally freaked out. We had had a hard time getting to sleep that night. Around 5 the next morning we were awakened by the phone and someone pounding on the front door. Gary and I both jumped up in a daze literally feeling like we were in a very bad nightmare and just wanted to wake up from it. The person on the phone was our son-in-law letting us know that our daughter was at the door pounding trying to get us to wake up. Our sister-in-law had called and woke her up after she tried calling us and not getting us to answer. She let us know that Gary's Mom had passed away from a massive heart attack. We were truly living a real nightmare and to this day we still can't believe we had lost two close members in our family that close to each other. I was knocked way back into my shell, where I withdrew from life again. I became so depressed all I did was cry and vent. I was mad at God, I was mad at my brothers and my Dad/Stepmom, and myself because I felt like we didn't try hard enough to get Mary some help knowing she was very addicted to the drugs, I truly felt like we had let her down. The guilt ate me up something awful. It wasn't till about a year ago that I started coming back out of it and the depression slowly lifted. I am now wanting to get my life back and am hopeful this is my year to do just that. I have started thinking more positive thoughts and am trying real hard to stop letting the negative ones keep me down. I am actually day dreaming about going places and doing things instead of fearing someone asking me to go somewhere or inviting me to their homes.

I know this is very long but I wanted you to know that the same thing happened to me. You are not alone. My Mom went to heaven in '98 but we were never close, however my sister and I were close despite the arguing we did over her drugs.

I wanted to write to you because I wanted you to know I am here to talk to and to help you get your life back to. Maybe together you and I can work on getting our lives back again. If you use Yahoo or MSN messengers you are welcomed to add me so that if you need someone to talk to you can reach me there. Hang in there hon and don't give up. It has taken me a long time to figure out why I am this way, I am still learning to be honest, but I think I am slowly on my way back to finding my life again.

God bless you and hugs,
Susan

[tina martin]

Thought I'd mention an article in The New York Times, Jan. 28th under Health, titled "Well: How Meditation may change the Brain" to help stress among other benefits.

I do Yoga and Tai Chi and Meditation to help me. Have great faith in their effectiveness, over time.