Has anyone else had a set back?

[Barndog]

Five years into my new anxiety (almost) free life, I am loosing my control because during a regular physical check up my EKG turned up a Left Bundle Branch Block. That was followed by a Stress test. etc. etc. etc. it is never ending.

I had the best blood work I had in years, cholesterol was 190, I had no aches and pains, no symptoms, no nothing but feeling great when this all began. Now I am feeling like my 82 years of age, in fact I feel like 92. I am sad, depressed, anxious, I feel like staying in bed and hiding my head so no one tells me anything else I do not want to hear. The unknown has me so frightened and I am loosing control and need to start the program over again. My anxiety is taking over my life again.

I am such a failure..........has anyone else had to do the program twice? Misery loves company and I thought I would check to see if anyone else failed as I have?

Thanks for listening.
Jacquie

[newrunner]

Hi Jacquie-

I'm sorry that you got the wits scared out of you.

Oh yea, we've done the program twice or thrice or we've never really stopped.

I wouldn't say that you have failed at all. You got an unexpected diagnosis that they want to follow up on and of course your mind is trying to figure it out. I have a bracelet that I wear that is a good reminder. It's the serenity prayer. God, give
me serenity to accept the things I can't change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. It applies in about a million ways to all the things of life. The unknown is scary. But nothing really has changed for you. You found out a name for an issue that you were having even before you went to the doctor. You just have something to grind your mind on now. Of course you are doing the never ending follow up, but at some point you just have to say "enough" obsessing. What will be will be. You are 82, and parts wear out. Heck,they wear out no matter what age you are when you don't take care of yourself.
I had an uncle pass away on Jan. 2 and it threw me for a loop. Not that I was super close to him, but it opened up a world of "what if". I am making an action plan to deal with the stuff I can control and talking to God about the stuff that I can't. That is the healthiest way I can figure out to handle it.

I think you are 100% normal. Hugs to you from MN.

[Barndog]

Thank you so much. I know that prayer well. I guess we all wear out, but I am extremely active, I have a greenhouse I sell starter plants I raise. I have six birds, a dog, walk twice a day when the stupid snow is not on the grass, and the thought of them finding something that will change all that is so scary. I do appreciate your words and will read them over and over. Have a great day. JB Maybe the weather has something to do with my feelings. I hope.

[Paisleegreen]

Hi Jacquie--Well, you are an inspiration to me! I thought my life was over at 56! I was all set to start up my own nursery and grow start plants and I was shut down by my family. And my little furry buddy, I had to put down due to injury and he turned septic. I was very down last spring when I experienced my first panic attack and thinking that I can't do anything anymore!

But you are an inspiration to me to stop thinking that way. I have had quite the change of heart and coming here has been so helpful. As Lucinda says, you never get completely "cured", because life happens. There is always going to be something that will throw us through a loop! Set backs and disappointments, ugh. But it is what Lucinda teaches and others that helps us to get out of the dumps.

Hang in there, we're here for you! Thanks for your story! Paislee

[Barndog]

Paislee, my goodness, plants can be so much a part of keeping peace and love in our lives. I wake up every morning and the first thing I look at are the plants inside my bedroom window. I have an old Christmas Cactus and some gardenias blooming and I look at them and thank God for the fact I actually woke up.
Then I get out of bed, my mind starts to wonder and I have a panic attack. Go figure. I knew when my plants were no longer helping me keep calm I needed to get back here and get some reinforcements I owe that to my kids. I can not leave this world in a turmoil. Besides, I am NOT ready to leave yet. I have things to do.
Thanks for your kind words. JB

[PrayingForMyBabyGirl]

I am actually going through a set back right now. I finished the program about 7 years ago and have really been good ever since. I have been through the birth of 2 babies, (one very premature) and 6 surgeries and now all of the sudden out of the blue i am getting panic attacks again. I have been feeling very werid and scared. Day before yesterday i got a bad bloody nose that i could not stop i just had to lean over the toilet and let it run into it and it freaked me out. I have never really had bloody noses before so this sent me into a tail spin.
I dont know why this is happening but i guess im doing the program again. I think if i can get better once i can get better again and so can you.
Good luck to you.