Death

calmchange · Post by **calmchange** » Mon Dec 29, 2008 10:56 am

merry xmas and a happy new year to all! i hope you have had an enjoyable break and lovely time with loved ones.
i am going through an unsure time and would love reassurence. i have a grandmother who is dying due to old age. i'm really worried how i'll cope when the day comes. i have images of me losing the plot scream saying weird and crazy things to people, well, lets say things get bad enough for me to be put away in hospital. mind you these are my thought only. i worry that i'll start talking about seeing her ghost and TOTALLY freaking out. i know i wouldn't see her ghost but its more that i'm worried about me being scared of the situation and talking crazy stuff around people. i've never done such a thing, i did freak out at the beginning which lend to my anxiety when we thought we lost her. i totally freaked out in the middle of the night, and started crying and wanted to get out of the situation because i thoguht i coulnt cope, but since that day i have come along way, i know what anxiety is now, so i hope that will help me. is there anyone that thought this way, will i go crazy and do all these stuff. please help
!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 30, 2008 8:47 am

just wondering if there is anyone to help me through this! any advise!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:17 am

dear calm change. i know what you are going through. i lost my grandfather a year ago and me and him were very close. he lived with us. me and him were inseperable. everyday i would get up and go downstairs and he wood be like what do you want from lunch buddy i would be like what ever you want and he would give me his credit card and i would go out and bring it home. for about 3 days he satyed in bed and did nothing and we knew smomething was wrong so he went to the hosipitial and he had kidney failure and was dying. i was a wreck. i visited him everyday at the hospitial. he was so drugged up he was talking all weird. he told me he was going to be with my grandma i said ok pop just do me a favor and send me a sign when you get there he said ok. the day before he died out of no where he looked at me and said are you my buddy i said yeah pop im your buddy and he said do you love me i said yeah pop i love you always and forever. he died like 6 hours after that and i was so upset. that night my power went out in my house no one knows why but i did because i knew grandpa was in a better place. i dont even remeber crying once at the funeral. i dont know why it was weird cause we were so close. i gusee i was just so happy i got to say everything to him before he went. you say your grandmother is dying of old age it happens you know she lived a great life and time goes on but they will always be with you inthere heart. god bless.

if you need anything at all you can private message me

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 30, 2008 11:39 am

thank you Jp! that really helps! did you have fears like me about losing it!! these images i have in my head are all scary and i'm so worried that it will come true! i tell myslef its just anxiety but i still worry! did you have the same anticipatory anxiety???

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 30, 2008 12:05 pm

I've been there too. My grandma died last winter and it was really hard, but surprisingly enough I was one of the more calm family members...my daughter was a wreck, maybe I was calm for her benefit. Yah, don't worry about freaking out. There will be a lot of other people who feel the same way you do so just concentrate on comforting each other. You'll be fine. I was surprised by how calm I felt after she passed away. It was a releif really, that she wasn't suffering any more. She was happy just before she died, thinking of seeing my grandpa again. Also, I have had eight friends and/or acquaintences lose children in the past four years. I've been REALLY anxious about death, especially where my four kids are concerned, but I've been forced to deal with it. It's normal to be anxious during these times, but it WILL pass and it WILL get better. My friends who lost children are living life and are still happy people who live, laugh and love to the fullest. They truly inspire me. Hope my rambling helps!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 30, 2008 12:11 pm

BTW JP...the day of my grandma's funeral the power went out, but we know why. Racoon on the power lines! If you want to see one hillarious picture you should see the coon with his whiskers all curled. Stil makes me laugh. It was a good distraction from the sadness we were feeling, but we had six or seven people who needed to shower and blow dry their hair and we don't even get water without power in the country!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 30, 2008 12:27 pm

yes CALM i did. when i was driving to the hospital to see him before he died i had to turn around cause i couldnt see him and i got the phone call from my father that he passed. i did get anxiety but the driving helped me. i thought i would go crazy but nothing bad happend. you will be fine

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 30, 2008 12:44 pm

thank you so much for your kind word and support!! this death issue is something i'm still working on but i have overcome alot of my other fears! and i owe alot to this forum! i dont know if you have this program but i've seen good reviews on it! i dont have it myself, but something that has helped me is DR CLAIRE WEEKES's books! i beleive that is what this programme is based on! please read the books.hope thing are going good for you all!! i hope i can be there for you all the same way you all have been there for me!! GOD BLESS!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 30, 2008 12:46 pm

Calmchange, I noticed that you registered on this sight in September 2008. How far are you in the program? I ask because session 8 specifically addresses the "what if" thinking you are going through. I too have had the same "what if I.." thoughts that are scaring you right now. That is all they are. They are just thoughts. And if you are like me when I started the program, the thoughts scare you and you get to physically feel the effects of fear which in our minds just underscores the reality of what we are fearing. NOT true! Because your mind can not tell the difference between a real threat and an imagined one, we "feel" both. Remember the ABC's of this program. Accept, Breath, Comforting dialogue and Distract. God Bless!

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Tue Dec 30, 2008 1:08 pm

Dear, calmchange, don't let your negative thoughts overwhelm you. Accept the anxiety that this type of situation causes, and ride with it. God will comfort you. Try and replace the negative thoughts with more positive ones. You will get through this. I am praying for you.