scared to be alone

TJT1979 · Post by **TJT1979** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 10:34 am

For the past several years I have been scared to be alone. Not just of being alone but of my husband not being there. i am nver without him he is never without me. We even work at the same place. I wish I could release him of this burden.This has been hard for my entire family. We are all hopeful that this program will help.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 11:22 am

Years ago I used to have this same fear. I don't any longer so please be assured that you can cure from this.

It does take exposure but you can do it in small increments. I can remember when my son was very little and he wanted to know what it felt like to be alone in the house with me gone (but not too far away) So I said, OK, I'll go outside and walk down the road for five minutes. It was a wonderful experience for him. My point is, start slow. There is no need to hurry. Make out a list of ten things you can do to start your exposure. Remember, you will feel some fear. You'll feel some anxiety. That's OK. Use your tools - your breath work and focus on what is at hand. Be proud of yourself every step of the way.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 12:02 pm

I am also afraid to be alone. Sounds like the difference between me and you is I have a few safe people. My husband is my number one safe person but I am also ok with my sister, mom, dad, and aunt.

I absolutely hate it. I feel like a burden and I am working on changing my life but I have a looooonnnnggggg way to go.

I too hope that the program helps. Sometimes I can implement what I've learned here and other times like today I just can't. I am better off than I was before the program but still far from cured.

I wish you the best in your life and will pray for you.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 5:01 pm

Hello,

I too have a real problem being alone whether it's at home or out by myself. I avoid it as often as I can, which is always. I'm scared of panicking and not being able to calm down and not having anybody who cares about me around to help me. I hate being dependent upon anybody to help me feel secure and a lot of times I go places I don't even really want to go to just to avoid being alone. I really need to work on this for myself. Before I had a problem with anxiety I used to love to stay home by myself and do whatever I wanted and I would also take the bus and walk home from school alone also. Being so dependent on others makes me feel kinda depressed and also embarrassed because I'm already 26 and I'm supposed to be able to take care of myself. This is something that I will definitely work to improve upon. Sometimes I feel I can do it because of what I've learned from the program and other times I feel like I can't. I will just need to improve to get better overall , especially in this area.

Rose

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 10:17 pm

One thing about this program is that it makes me recognize my thoughts. Yes, indeed. Several times now I have actually caught myself mentally running to a safe place or a safe person for protection. Fear of being alone goes with the territory and has been with me all of my life. Perhaps a fear of abandonment. Hang in there as we really are own safe places, but have no experience setting up shop.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 12:36 am

I hear ya TJ! It is so hard. I had to spend 2 days w/o my husband and father here...my comfort people. But ya know what...I did it. I survived it. I feel good that i did it. It was hard. I had the 2 little ones..me the only adult...out in the country! You can do this if I can. I believe that. You must have faith!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 1:04 am

From time to time, I have the same problem. I have four "safe people": my boyfriend, my mother, my best friend, and my boss. In part 2, Lucinda talks about needing to be your own safe person. I have been working on this and I would recommend that you work on this too.