I can't take meds

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christinepsc
Posts: 39
Joined: Mon Dec 24, 2007 1:26 pm

Post by christinepsc » Mon Dec 24, 2007 12:01 pm

It is Christmas eve and I am sitting here having a stroke, problems from a brain tumor, and the feeling I am about to have a seziure!! My Anxiety is so out of control and I don't know what to do. I can't take any medication. I am terrified of it. Anything and I mean it. I am sitting here with a real bad headache and won't take a tylenol. I have an RX for effexor but have not had it filled. I am too scared! I can't even take ativan. I am afraid I am going to have an allergic reaction from it and have a seizure from it. I feel like my life is spining out of control. I really feel like I am dying. Of course my doctor says I am fine but I am thinking he is missing something and blaming my anxiety for everything. I have taken Paxil once and ended up in the hospital because I did not sleep from the worry of taking it. I did not sleep for 3 days. I feel like I am losing my mind. My family tells me I need the meds. They are fed up with me and my anxiety. I am not totally homebound but my "safe zone" is not very big. Has anyone ever got over the fear of taking meds? I have to be REALLY sick to take meds and only antibiotics! I start this program all the time and never make it past week 3 or 4. I have had it for over 5 years now. I have 5 year old twin boys and I am sitting here crying on Christmas eve. I should be out with them enjoying this instead of crying in the room from fear that this is my last Christmas with them. I am glad no one knows my real name :(
~*~Christine~*~

Guest

Post by Guest » Mon Dec 24, 2007 12:11 pm

OH HOW I CAN RELATE!!!! But actually the ativan helps me. I used to do the same thing that you are doing now, and still do not like medicine but I will take my ativan. BREATHE, Tell yourself that you are ok. Hey ask yourself this, can the ativan really make it worse? What are the odds? Sometimes I just take it and wait patiently (ok not so patient about it) LOL, to die and then I realize I am still here.!!!! PM me if you need to talk. Christi

Guest

Post by Guest » Mon Dec 24, 2007 12:22 pm

Logics tell me I will feel better with the ativan. I have taken it before 7 years ago when I flew to England. I am just so scared to. What the heck is wrong with me???? I know anxiety I know it well. I have had CBT 4 years ago. That is out the window. The relaxation helps but I just can't seem to do it now as much as I used to. Too cold in the Van and my kids make way to much noise. Is that just an excuse? Can I get over this without meds??

Guest

Post by Guest » Mon Dec 24, 2007 1:12 pm

I totally understand how you feel I am terrified of meds of any kind including antibiotics!! The thing that I have recently started doing is start out small. I started with tylenol and I have actually gotten to where I can take advil for a headache! I am going to try to start my lexapro after the holidays! I was just feeling the same way while ago we were out shopping and all I could think of was how much I wished that I could be enjoying the holidays like everyone else. I saw everyone laughing and enjoying being with their families and now I feel super depressed! I hope that you can conquer your fears but start out small and work your way up it is hard but you will feel so proud of your self when you do!

Guest

Post by Guest » Tue Dec 25, 2007 1:49 pm

Yes maybe I can take vitamins. I can't even take those. Maybe I should start there.

Guest

Post by Guest » Tue Dec 25, 2007 3:09 pm

I can totally relate to you. I am so terrified of meds too. I now take Zoloft and Klonopin, but my zoloft sat in my cabinet for a year before I forced and I mean forced the first pill down. I am a mother of two children and I knew I had to get better for them. I knew it wasnt fair to them. I could tell they were suffering from it and they are my everything so I had to do something. My mom asked me if I were more afraid of what the medicine was gonna do to me or if I was more afraid of living like this forever. It really made me think. I had some side effects from the zoloft but they went away in two weeks and now I am finally starting to feel like my self again. I think this program is wonderful and you should really try to finish it. I think that would make a huge difference in how you feel too. You are not alone. You know what is best for you and if you decide to take the medicine just know that if you dont like it you dont ever have to take it again. I think though since you are so scared of the medicine you should really give the program a shot to work. You will get through this, there is a light at the end of the tunnel you just have to have faith. If you need anything just let me know. I hope you and your family had a blessed Christmas.

Jen

Guest

Post by Guest » Mon Jan 14, 2008 6:01 am

I had to chime on this one. I was a panic sufferer for years until i went through the program along with some weekly counseling and I've been fine off and on obviously with different life stressors for the past 3 years. It was through the course that one of my fears was highlighted that actually made me laugh. Anxiety sufferers are actually afraid to take any form of pills/medication it's actually a symptom! You need to rest assured you wont be on the corner looking for your next hit of Ativan to calm you down. Everyone in this world deserves to be comfortable including you. At my wedding my anxiety was so high i could barely function. I fI would have taken one of my pills I would have enjoyed every minute but I Fought it due to my fear and instead missed out out on the most important day of my life.

Guest

Post by Guest » Mon Jan 14, 2008 6:10 pm

i can definatly relate to this, i actually have a fear that i am having an allergic reaction to almost everything i ever had to take.. i actually am sitting here right now with cramps and i wont take anything for them. i have started to get over this because i have asthma and i need to take my medicine for that but sometimes ill go through a week where i wont take it because ill think that its making me anxious.. im also on lexapro which ive been on for 4 years now, i had anxiety about 2 years ago went through thearapy and got better until about summer of last year when i went to italy.. i was down to 5mg of my lexapro because i hate taking pills and i always will! have you though of a reason that could have caused this fear of medicine, i know i think mine is because my two uncles were on drugs really bad which i dont ever wanna be reliant on something because it reminds me of a drug addict and also i had a bad allergic reaction to an antibiotic that i was on and now im scared that im gonna have one to anything else i take.. i also dont like how clonopin makes me feel and sometimes it scares me to not be able to feel what im really feeling and having pills cover it up! but im on my secound week of the seccion and ive been better.. ive been taking my medicines faithfully for about a week now and i even started taking vitamens although it made my pee yellow and made me nervous i still started to take them.. i think they help and i need them so if they make you feel better take them and dont worry about it!

Guest

Post by Guest » Mon Jan 14, 2008 6:18 pm

Oh Christine I can so understand every word you say, I have been there and done that in every way possible, you can probably look up my old posts and see what shape I was in and I share youre fear of meds too, you are not having a stroke and you dont have a brain tumor its the nasty anxiety bringing the symptoms on, anxiety likes to fool us into thinking false things.

I think I may have a possibls solution to the ativan you have, I took ativan at one time and I had NO side effects, other than a little bit of sleepiness, my 84 year old Mother-in-law take ativan twice a day, ativan is known for the least of side effects and is safe for even very old people, I take Klonopin now which is very similar, the only difference between ativan and klonopin is klonopin takes longer to work and lasts a bit longer, they are similar.

What I was going to suggest is what I did Christine, can you get a pill cutter from the drugstore and cut the ativan in half? I know they are very small but it can be done, you can take a half and then see you will NOT have a seizure or any reaction, you will feel more relaxed and calm, and then you can take a whole perhaps after a few days of knowing you WILL be fine and it helps, I did this and it really helped me so much, start very slowly and work up till my courage went up. You will too.

I will pray for you Christine and please know there is a light at the end of this panic tunnel, believe me I know. Kucek :)

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