Cloudy

Searching for some peace · Post by **Searching for some peace** » Thu Jan 22, 2009 11:19 pm

Six months ago my medication stopped working. I was weened off of it and went trough such a horrific and painful withdrawl I swore I would never take it again. Well since I was doing well on my own ( well meaning just barely living) I decided to go back on it and now I feel like I am going back to my old self, something that I thought I wanted. I guess I thought I wanted to go back to how i was before but that is how I got in this mess in the first place. So I have been trying to still work onmyself and the program but not as seriously as when i was without my medication. When I am on my medication it almost numbs me so it's really hard to tap into my thoughts or emotions I just feel something building inside of me and I can see a breakdown coming. How do I continue the program like this?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jan 22, 2009 11:44 pm

I don't know what type of meds you are on, but you might want to let your doctor know that you are going through the program, but the meds are numbing you. He might be able to tweak it a bit. I would continue to go through the program, but you may need to spend extra time on each session while it sinks in. Continue with the relaxation cds, listen to the lessons and try as best you can to work in the book.

Good Luck.
Lisa

stargazer · Post by **stargazer** » Fri Jan 23, 2009 3:00 am

Searching for some peace,

Medication is okay if it allows you to feel some anxiety so you can work through it. It is true what you are saying. It happens to often with people who take medication. Numbing is not good. It's not normal. How can anyone expect you to work cognitive-behavioral therapy being like that.

Please do imagine a breakdown. You can't have a breakdown without your permission. So get your mind off of that! Instead, you need to visualize good things, like being successful, even when you don't feel successful.

When I worked the StressCenter.com program and learned that I would eventually have to do the program without medication and face my feelings/fears anyways, I decided to not take medication. I felt that by taking them, I was only going to prolong my suffering. So the little slivers of Paxil that I took for a short time - I stopped taking and focused entirely on the program everyday and with persistance.

Of course, medication is a personal choice. If you don't want to take it, you don't have to!
It is true that you can recover with or without meds. I recovered completely without medication and I am so glad I did this. The program teaches that if you recover without meds, you are less likely to have a relapse in the future.

If you really want to break this you need to work hard THROUGH those feelings, thoughts, and fears. The only way to get to the other side is to go THROUGH it. I know that is so scary for so many and so they never do it.

All I can say is that it's SO worth it!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jan 23, 2009 3:24 am

sunset,

thanks for that post.

you are the light at the end of the tunnel.

i have refused medication for my panic disorder (personal choice) and have been slowly healing since then.

Lets see, it started about this time last year, and got into full out panic attacks in March. It took about I would say 5 years of stressful work with little release to help push me to that place; but i now make no mistake the role that i played and my flawed thinking contributed a great deal as well.

some 9 months later, i am doing so much better. i wonder if medication, at the start would have made this process somewhat faster, but i agree that taking medication may have dulled my resolve, and i may not truly have learned how to deal with my self.

through prayer, exercise, a loving wife and family, and this program and G-O-D, I am rising from the ashes!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jan 23, 2009 3:39 am

Paul R,

Thanks for your kind words. I am glad to hear you are doing better than before.

For me, I think what caused me the most emotional distress was not understanding panic and what was happening to me. I went years without understanding and because of my lack of understanding, it kept me in fear. When I got the StressCenter.com program, it really put alot of things into the right perspective for me. It gave me so much hope and I knew I had to fight for my life back. I hated what I was going through. The StressCenter.com program was my medicine. I took it everyday- worked it everyday, journaled, read books, exercised and most importantly, changed my internal self-talk about who I was, what I was going through and where I wanted to end up.
I even made a tape of myself talking...saying positive things customed to my own negative self-talk and I would play it over and over again as I cleaned my house, cooked dinner.
I think for me, it was the repetition that sped things up. I was too afraid to look back at where I was, so I just pressed forward everyday.

I look back now at what I did to get better and I know that I am strong.

I planned to venture out everyday, to force myself to pick long lines in the stores, gave myself permission to panic in line and actually work the skills. I remember standing in line in a panic, getting ready to pay the girl and taking the time to put myself in the "here and now" by looking around me, looking at people, watching what others were doing.

Recovery is realizing that you can have those feelings and not run from them anymore. When you stop being afraid of panic, it does not come anymore.

I also had the support of my husband, exercised, prayed (and cried alot), used this program and I also believe it was my faith that kept me strong.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jan 23, 2009 3:52 am

I read your message and I know that you will come out from this. I was where you are now and I can tell you the PROGRAM WORKS. I was on medication and feeling anxiety too. Now I am on no medication and have NO anxiety attacks. I dont have them because I know that they are "thoughts only thoughts" and that "I am alive and participating in my day" I am my best friend and support!! Anything I can do please ask.... I TRULY BELIEVE in YOU Love Kathy

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jan 23, 2009 4:01 am

HI,
I know you might think that you have a feeling something is building inside and that you can see a breakdown coming. We all did. We all do this to ourselves. BUT WE ARE THE ONES THAT WILL LET THEM COME OR NOT.

Why do you want to be numb? There is so much out there for you. Who cares what others think. You know that you are a terrific person. You have so much to offer yourself.

I also took medication. But it scared me. I wasn't feeling any better just existing and very depressed. I wanted to do more for me, God gave me this beautiful life and there I was. I asked Him to help me. I started going to church, that one was hard. I went through the program. It's been a very long time I think about 2004 when I went through the program. I needed some help again. I had some hard times lately and needed a tune up. My coach reminded me that 100% cured means not that I won't ever feel this way again, NO! but that now I have the skills that will help me recognize what this is and deal with them. Life is tough, you are going to have many trials I bet no one told you that as you were growing up. They didn't tell me. This program will teach you to deal with those trials. God didn't make you to be numb. He has a job for you to do and He needs tough people. He must of picked you too, just like He did all of us in this program. Or we wouldn't be suffering with anxiety either. Keep the faith, He is there. Reflect constantly on what He went through on this earth. I'm sure His human nature suffered anxiety too. Sometimes knowing that helps. Good luck with the program, let me know how you do!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jan 23, 2009 5:00 pm

Thank you all for your resonses! I will take everything into condideration and do my very best! Thanks again love, Erin

stargazer · Post by **stargazer** » Fri Jan 23, 2009 5:20 pm

hey searching...

whatever you do please DO NOT stop working the program...i truly believe this program is such a powerful tool if not THE tool for us to overcome and/or cope better with our anxiety/depression...hang in there girl...we're all here for you, don't give up....

sunset 34, the way you explained how you worked the program is so inspiring...i love that you made a tape of yourself talking...i just might do that for myself now...take care everyone!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jan 23, 2009 6:13 pm

I went to my local radio shack, and bought me a cassette player, also...I recorded my own voice, and used my own voice saying every positive affirmation one could dream up...I always used ear-phones, because it worked much better for me...I also ordered the extra relaxation CDs and used them consistently...Over time, I had finally reached that peaceful place...It sure was worth the effort...I enjoyed every moment helping myself...I wanted to overcome those panic attacks, and I used my imagination to come up with new mantras and by using my vivid imagination for my own good; I finally reached my goal!!!! And believe me, anyone who has anxiety and panic has an excellent imagination...Isn't it about time we use our imagination to help us, instead of scaring ourselves???? Positive self-talk, listening to
relaxation CDs, and learning the tools are a must...And accepting that panic attack, and realizing that it cannot hurt you is the key...God Bless...