In need of some moral support

aj85 · Post by **aj85** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 9:30 am

I'm on session 12 and have decided I have to put myself to a test. I'm agraphobic and one of my main fears is going into cars or travelling with people I don't know...I'm scared of getting sick or feeling like i'm going crazy and that I cant get out... I also am fearful of longer distances..and being away from my home where i feel safe...Soo here goes...I decided to take a bus this weekend to niagara falls(1.5 hours away) and stay over night..with a group of friends...And let me tell you the antisipatory anxiety is in full swing...I almost cancelled the trip 3 times and keep having obsessive scary thoughts every second of the dayy...what if i get sick/...what if i have to get out and cant...what will my friends think etc...also out of this fear Im feeling anxious about staying over night...which usually im fine with...please help calm me down..or give me some advice or support,...thank you..

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 9:50 am

Hi there. I know a thing or two about antisipatory anxiety. I lost a boyfriend to that (turns out he wasn't all that great anyway). So here goes. Are the friends you are going with trustworthy? Have you known them for a long time? If so, then you should go and you should STOP thinking about it right now. Just go. I know its hard to stop obsessing but you have to if you want to cure yourself. Everything will be okay. If you don't know the people you are going with all that well or you have had bad experiences and don't trust them fully, then I wouldn't use this as the beta test for getting out of the house.

I don't like travelling with people I don't know either and I certainly hate when I'm in the car with a bad driver. But its a bus and they generally tend to drive pretty safe. They usually obey the speed laws and all that. If I can take a bus by myself from Las Vegas, NV to West Palm Beach, FL for 3 days (I'm scared to fly) then you can do this!!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 10:14 am

Hi Aj
Listen, I am really proud of you for stepping out and doing this. You should be very proud of yourself. Remember aj you are strong. You can do this. I always tell myself, I can always leave, there's always a way out if I need to I can go home. This gives you peace of mind, and then you can go, stay, and suprise yourself and really enjoy it. Too bring the materials from the program that will help you the most. Maybe a headset so you can listen to the relaxation cd as you travel, or listen to tape 3 about positive self talk, we all know thats the key. Bring along things to distract yourself, snacks, wordsearch, crossword puzzles, good books to read. You will be fine, you can do this, you are quite capable, and you will have a great time. It's ok to feel anxious, remember we talk ourselves into anxiety, and we can talk ourselves out of it. Hang in there, and let us know how it all goes ok.
Your Friend
Angla

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 10:16 am

I am just starting this program, and I just want to express what hunnie33 quoted on the bottom of the reply.
Anxiety is living in the future, Depression is living in the past. This small sentence is short but it says so much..When are we going to stop and appreaciate this moment and stop living in the past or the future! Things would be so much easier if we could learn to master the present..

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 10:14 am

Thank you soo mjuch for the support..i noticed that my big problem is that at times leading up to this trip I feel some excitement and confidence...but as soon as my body feels the slightest discomfort..I begin to anticipate the trip and thinki negagative about it...

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 12:38 pm

I just read your post, and it completely hit home. I started the program recently, and I've struggled with this my whole life (off and on). Although my anxiety has really been at it's worst the past year , I made three trips this summer....and I wanted to back out of every single one. The most difficult was a white water rafting trip to West Virginia. For a week, I really didn't know if I'd make it. I made it through, and actually had a great time. Right before they got us on the rafts they literally said "there's no turning back now, if you don't think you can do this then leave now. Once we're on the three hour rafting trip there's no way for us to get you help besides a helicopter. I wanted to RUNNNN. I stuck in there and did okay. I had uncomfortable feelings, but my mind went elsewhere. It just makes me feel better to here people that were in similar situations that did okay so I thought I'd share. I can identify with your feelings 100%. Everyone's advice to you has been great, just thought I'd add.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 12:47 pm

AJ, have you read the workbook? I personally think it is the 'key' to the program. Since you are on lesson 12, I'd suggest books by Dr. Claire Weekes. She was a fantastic doctor who also was a former sufferer and she figured this whole thing out and wrote books to share the way out.

Best to ya!

Rod

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jan 08, 2009 9:22 am

I know how scary this is for you because it's new and different from your usual "safe" routine.

I also suffer from traveling far from home (even if it's only a half hour), riding in cars with others, etc.

I am able to go further from home now and I have practiced riding in the car with my husband. I am now comfortable enough to ride with him for more than an hour.

I took small steps. I'd ride with him around the block...then just to the store and right back, then even further and so on.

Little baby steps definitely help because you're exposing yourself to the situation, making yourself comfortable to do more eventually.

I have a fear of getting sick amongst so many other things but I don't want to create negative thoughts in your head, you know?

When you get that "What if" or negative thought, that is the Devil trying to take away your courage from accomplishing what God wants you to do because He knows you can do it. Fear is a powerful feeling that God does not give to us. Quickly diminish the negative thought and fear by switching it with a good thought, a happy one.

Once fear sets in, it makes you step back rather than moving forward. I know you can do this. You will have a great time and once you get to Niagara, you will be thrilled and so confident, happy that you actually did it. It's the best feeling in the world. You will be glad that you went and truly cherish the moment so many others take for granted.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jan 11, 2009 6:46 pm

I have that exact same problem, (traveling) even if it's just driving with my friends around town. One thing that helps me is to Stop Drinking anything with caffine or sugar at least one hour before the schedualed pick up, and just getting in my car and driving around the block once or twice. I know it sounds really weird but I actually try to make myself have an anxiety attack so I can get it over with and not have to worry about it when I'm with my friends. I'm not sure why but it actually helps me feel more in controll once I've had one and I just try to keep that frame of mind for the rest of the night. If I start to feel anxious later, I'll just start chatting with one of my friends about things that really interest us, and before I know it, all the anxious feelings and racing thoughts just go away. I hope that helps you. Good Luck!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jan 11, 2009 6:59 pm

Hey, I used this one in shopping malls, and in all public places...I would say, "You fool with me Panic and
Anxiety, and I will just lay down here in this floor and won't leave." Can you imagine me laying in the floor in some public facility, and refusing to get up??? My mantra sure did work for me.....Tee Hew