I'm new, and just got some devestating news

suzysmiles · Post by **suzysmiles** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 9:06 pm

Hi everyone. I just got my program on Tuesday, and enthusiastically jumped into it hoping that I would get rid of all my horrible symptoms that I have been told for 4 years were anxiety or other emotional problems. I begged drs to check me for more than the regular stuff, but they wouldn't. (I guess they just thought I was neurotic.)Anyways I dove in to the program looking forward to getting back to the old me. Or I was hoping even a better me for what I have experienced and grown from. So I had an appointment with a dr from a hospital a couple hours from where I live. My husband drove me there and we listened to the I'll be there for you cd on the way. We stayed over at a hotel as I had 2 appointments one each day. When I got to the dr I had broke out in a rash as I do frequently. I was kind of happy though as I finally got to show someone. The next day was my results of months of testing. I sat stunned as she told me I had a tumor. It's benign but its complicated and I have to have a surgery. And the worst part is is the surgery can cause a whole other disease I will have to live with forever. I was so stunned I walked out of her office smiling giddily. I told her gosh I was ready to go home and just deal with my "anxiety". I know that they say this program is obout dealing with life and what it throws at you, and I think that is good and I do know it is very encouraging too, but I just don't know how well I will do with it at this point. I was left to suffer some horrible physical symptoms even passing out and was told over and over that it was just anxiety. In the program you need to accept this is the anxiety causing you to feel this way. Well I just wonder how that will fit in with me. I'm so sad, because I just wanted to do this thing and get "better". I have actually always been a positive person, thats why I never gave up in trying to find out what was wrong with me. I just don't know if I can get help here or not. I was happy to take the anxiety, but not a tumor. Maybe this is just a bad time in my life to even try this program.

need a friend
Suzy

derfy · Post by **derfy** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 9:55 pm

Suzy you poor thing, trying to overcome anxiety is bad enough without this devistating news. I can't even imagine what you must be going through. The only thing you can do at this point is remain positive, and go for your treatment.

You will be in my prayers.

Mitch L · Post by **Mitch L** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 10:34 pm

Thanks for your encouragement. It's 230 in the morning where I'm at. I read your post about going out this morning, What time is it there? I'm sorry you are having a bad morning. I hope it gets better for you. I think I'm going to go to bed. I hope your spirit lifts as the morning passes.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 11:09 pm

Originally posted by suzysmiles:
Thanks for your encouragement. It's 230 in the morning where I'm at. I read your post about going out this morning, What time is it there? I'm sorry you are having a bad morning. I hope it gets better for you. I think I'm going to go to bed. I hope your spirit lifts as the morning passes.

Hi, My problems are nothing compared to yours, Its 11:09am here in Ireland by the way,

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 24, 2008 1:50 am

Hello!I just want you to know that I've said a prayer for you.Oh my gosh this is a tough thing.Let's look at the positive for a minute.The tumor is benign.That's definately a blessing.I know that they said you could get a disease from the surgery but the key word is 'might'.Where is the tumor?We just have to keep praying that you will come out of this and that the rest of you're life will be filled with joy!This is a difficult post to read.I'm so sorry to hear about this.I've prayed that God will give you the strength while you go through this.Remember He is always with you!I hope that you still continue to work with the program because I'm sure that some of your symptoms were anxiety and just even finding out what you did would cause anyone some anxiety.I'm your friend.I will also be here for you.I'll be praying for you and you're complete recovery.Take care and God bless you!

Therapy4me · Post by **Therapy4me** » Sun Aug 24, 2008 2:31 am

suzy so sorry that you got this bad news...but dont let it distract you from you anxiety. I do believe that your anxiety has played a big pary in your symptoms over the years...perhaps the two dont go together. I think you see it as the doctors were kinda lying to you because they were saying it was anxiety and nothing more. Perhaps it was merely anxiety for a very long time and this tumor also simutainlessly developed. I dont believe the doctors were misleading you....anxiety is something many of us suffer with and it causes so much of the misery we endure everyday.

I would say keep doing your program because not only is it good for your anxiety it will help you to deal with the stress of your illness as well. Im so happy for you that you have this program to help you cope through this illness and you will be a stronger person because of it.

My best wishes and prayers are with you that your tumor is treated and you are back to good health!

Dodger

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 24, 2008 2:39 am

Suzy,

I don't really know what to say after reading your post, but I wish you all the best.

As an anxiety sufferer my entire life, this must be devastating. Part of my anxiety has always been that my doctors are wrong, but, I have had MANY tests for the symptoms that I have experienced.

Be strong, go for your treatment and continue to deal with life's punches as they are thrown at you.

I have never been on the full program, but through this forum I have found I am not alone and have received much encouragement.

I wish you all the best!

CJ

Mary Wargo · Post by **Mary Wargo** » Sun Aug 24, 2008 2:45 am

<span class="ev_code_PURPLE">I am so sorry for your devastating news, my prayers are with you and for you and your family. Dodger is right though, stick with the program, it helps in many many ways other than just our anxiety. One thing we all need to remember is that Lucinda tells us in the very beginning of the program to go get checked out by a doctor for a complete check up. She says that most of the time it is just anxiety but if they do find something you know what you are dealing with. The fact that now you know what is going on and how to deal will help you in your journey through the program.</span><span class="ev_code_PURPLE">It sounds like you already have a lot of people supporting you here, and you will not be alone in this. Keep us updated as to how you are doing, k? Huggs, Kitten</span>

angelos · Post by **angelos** » Sun Aug 24, 2008 3:24 am

Thank you fear not for the friendship and prayers. It used to be I would pray that I would find out what was really wrong. Now I am praying it would not be right. I keep looking for something that makes it wrong or asking my husband are you sure she said I have it, or just that I could have it. I was so stunned she could have said there were purple monkeys flying out of my mouth. And thank you for the positives. Yes I at least heard her when she said it was benign. As far as the disease goes I read about that on the internet. The toumor is on my parathyroid gland. The surgery can be complicated because there are 4 of them and they are not always in the same places.And yes I do agree that I have some anxiety. Mine started when I got sick 4 years ago and had trouble with my small town drs. It wasn't too bad at first, but when I insisted that there was something wrong they would only do the basic tests. It is a long complicated story with them, but essentially I had to drive 2 hours away to get someone to believe me and do some more checking. anyways thanks for the encouragement and God bless you too.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 24, 2008 3:44 am

Thank you for your reply dodger yes I do agree that anxiety makes things worse, but they did not make the symptoms I was having as the drs would have had me believe. No I don't believe the drs were lying to me. They outright abused me. both mentally and physically. And not all of them but not one would do more testing because another would critisize them. I suffered at there hands and could tell some pretty bad horrer stories, but this is not the bad dr horrer support website, so I will keep it to myself. As for anxiety I have always believed that everyone has some degree of anxiety in there lives. I was the one that first suggested the anxiety to the drs in hopes that it wasn't something physical. At first I was told no my symptoms were not anxiety related, but when the tests kept showing small abnormalities but nothing that fit a diagnosis they did not look further. I always new it was something physical all my symptoms did not suggest anxiety. I believe that anxiety developed as I delt with some very hateful drs and that was my only option for help. I feel like I already have become stronger. Thanks for your post, and God bless you.