Failing at stopping What If thinking...
Hi there. I'm on week 9 of the program and doing well (so I thought). I haven't been feeling anxious at all for a while now, but I have been having health issues and cannot stop obsessing and what if thinking. It started off with what I think was a stomach virus, somehow turned into gastritis (confirmed by endoscopy), and now I have developed Raynaud's syndrome. Raynaud's is when your fingers and/or toes lose blood supply due to the cold, they become completely white and sometimes blue due to absence of blood flow, and become numb and painful. That itself is not a big deal to me, but I have been really worried that it is an early symptom of an autoimmune disease (as Raynaud's often is). Since I have also been fatigued and having aches in my hips and knees...I have been worrying about lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, Sjogren's syndrome, scleroderma, etc. etc. Starting thinking that this is a systemic thing that has been causing all my stomach issues. It's probably not, and I am trying so hard to not catastophize, but it has been hard. Work has been super stressful, too, so that might be adding to it. I am also trying to not beat myself up for feeling/thinking this way, but I can't help but feel disappointed in myself...I should know better by the 9th week, right? I am seeing my PCP tomorrow to discuss all of this with her and hopefully rule this stuff out. Maybe then I can calm down. I also have to wonder if my stomach issues (cramping, alternating constipation with diarrhea)is due to getting off Celexa and would it be better if I just went back on it? I have been off of it since late September...I have been doing fine emotionally without it, but it is so frustrating to feel physically unwell (it has been 8 weeks of this), that I have to wonder if that would help. I know I am rambling on and on, but I am going in so many different directions right now and I just needed to vent to people that would understand.
-
Guest
I can really sympathize with your situation right now. I obsess over physical symptoms, too. And I'm afraid of doctors. What a pickle. Please remember, though, that there's more than your job stress going on right now. First of all, it's Winter in Massachusetts and if memory serves me, it's cold! Bet your hands and feet feel better in May. Spastic colon is like one of the anxious person's trademarks, right? It's miserable when you're going through it, but it does settle down after a while. What did you eat during the Holidays? It's cumulative. I go to a Chinese medicine doctor for mine, and herbs have been pretty helpful. And then there's the Economy. I was mildly anxious before this Fall. When things started plummeting and I was hearing daily analyses of how bad things were and how much worse they were going to get, well all my symptoms escalated. Please give yourself a break. Give yourself a pat on the back for getting through these tough times and keeping going. This, too, shall pass. And isn't it great to know you've got this program as well as other folks who are experiencing what you are?
-
Guest