Feeling like a burden to my family

mtdeffend · Post by **mtdeffend** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 8:49 am

I know that I shouldn't be allowing myself to think this way, but I am, and I'm trying not to so maybe you guys can help me out. I have been really anxious for about 2 months now, and I'm on session 3 of the program. I feel like I depend too much on my husband. I feel like I must just drain him with talk of my anxiety, my feelings and so on...I feel like I'm not a good enough wife to him when I'm like this. Even though I feel I still try really hard. He has to put up with me when I cry about it, when I panic. I feel awful. My Mom and my sister of course worry about me and want me to start feeling better but I hate it that they have to worry about me. I feel like I should be helping my sister more and spending more time with her since she just had a baby. She told me recently that she thinks I'm pushing her away since she had the baby. I don't feel like I am but now I am obsessing about her saying that because I feel like a bad sister now. I am typically a very independant strong person. Right now I feel very weak and dependant. I HATE that more than anything!!! Any advice...please.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 9:34 am

mtdeffend-you need to calm down and stop concentrating on whether your being a burden or not-this thinking is going to knock you off if you let it. You have the program and you are doing it. This counts. Each day is going to get better and better. I go to a counselor once every 2 wks(til my insurance runs out on it,only 10 sessions per calendar year)She told me that I should not think that way, more than anything they want to help and they are close to you and you rely on them and its okay. Dont think bad. Most people who try to help others I was told dont really think bad of person they are helping. Just stick with program and use breathing exercise if panicking. Also just apologize to your sister and ask her if there is something you could do for her. I think this would help you feel better and I know your a good wife so please believe in yourself. I do. God Bless You and I hope this helps.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 10:18 am

I know what you are going through all because you are not feeling well.
Try not to be so hard on yourself.
Treat yourself well. Keep doing the program.
One thing I've been doing and it helps me is.....each day I make a list of things I accomplish. Some days it isn't much and others I get a lot done but it helps to see it in writing.
If you call your sister, write it down.
If you make a nice dinner, write it down.
If you bake cookies, write it down.
Some days just getting out and getting groceries is an accomplishment for me.
It is worth a try.
Please take good care of yourself, then you will be able to move forward and be a help to others.
You are SO WORTH IT!
(((HUGS)))
~~g~~

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 11:10 am

I have been where you are now. I felt like I burdened my whole family, even my now-twelve year old son, with my anxiety and crying. It gets better as you progress through the Program.

I agree with g, write your accomplishments everyday. I would also suggest that if you are not journaling on a regular basis, you might want to give it a try. At the end of your journaling for the day, write down the things you are grateful for. If you can only come up with one or two things, that okay. You will eventually get to the point where you can come up with 10 to 20 easily. Focusing on the positive is wonderful.

Also, I write myself positive affirmations on index cards and carry them with me.

You will get through this. I notice you are from Michigan. Me too! The weather here has been bitter cold, but the weekend in the Detroit area is going to be in the mid 40s, I cannot wait!!!

Good Luck.

Lisa

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 11:45 am

Most of us can understand why you feel that way because we also deal with that depressing thought. I can not do anything for myself right now and haven't been able to for years. I haven't went clothes shopping, grocery shopping, paid bills, or anything else including going to family functions because the Agoraphobia has taken a huge stronghold on me. I have bad panic attacks that scare the heck out of me. In this moment of time I can't give you positive feedback however I can tell you you are not alone. Sometimes the guilt can eat me up so much that I let myself start having a pity party that really makes me go into my shell deeper and withdraw to my bedroom where I stay until I self talk myself into coming out. I truly believe this group and the people in it as well as the program will eventually help me to find myself again. I have heard so many success stories from other members that I pray and hope I to can share a success story in the near future. We are all here for you so anytime you need someone to listen please let us know. If you haven't been to the chatroom yet make sure to go in because you will meet some very awesome and friendly people in there. Just knowing I am not alone and that there are many people out there that are going through what I am is very comforting to me.

God bless,
Susan