making/keeping friends hard

lisalee · Post by **lisalee** » Sun Nov 09, 2008 3:13 pm

Does anyone find it hard to keep or make friends with the anxiety/depression stuff going on? I do because I can't seem to make lunch dates or exercise because I don't want to act too depressed when I am with someone or to fidgety. And feeling lonely doesn't help these problems out at all! Anyone else having this problem?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Nov 09, 2008 3:35 pm

Have you been open with your friends about your anxiety? If you haven't, you might want to let them know, you may be surprised at what they have to share w/you! Perhaps you could tell yourself what a great time you are going to have and think about what you are looking forward to eating instead of worrying about how you are going to behave. Maybe make plans to take a hike or do some other type of physical activity, something to get your endorphins going, it will help you to think positive and you will be too tired to fidget.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Nov 09, 2008 4:24 pm

I've long sinced past the stage of worrying what people might think of me because I have anxiety/panic issues. However, My husband finds it kind of amusing that i tell everyone I meet or spend any kind of time with, right off the bat, that I have anxiety. I feel better that way. So if I should happen to have an anxiety attack they're far less likely to judge you and more like to say "oh, this is what she was talking about....ok" Usually, if they're your good friends, they'll support you no matter what. My friends know how i'm like and that I don't make it to every event. It's not always that I don't want to go...I just seem to have a more difficult time than they do sometimes and they get it. They don't hold it against me or stop calling me because of it. I think you should talk to them and explain exactly what's going on. It may reduce a lot of your fear.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 1:25 am

I suppose I could give it a try and tell them. I just don't want them to back off as friends because they may not completely understand what is going on with me. I know as a good friend they should stand by me but still I don't have a lot of friends and don't want to be alone. But people I know have said "you look frazzled", so I know that the anxiety shows through and so they stay there distance. Or now that depression has set in I am having a hard time going places.

BTTRFLY · Post by **BTTRFLY** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 2:28 am

I am new to this myself. I work with public 90% of the time and have had many opportunities to make friends through my travels. I guess I am good salesperson but maybe not the best friend,lol, When it comes down to it, I am not taking the time to listen and not communicating my interests to potential friends. I find myself sabotaging the ability to make friends because maybe I won't see them often enough, or they may need me and I won't we be able to help them.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 2:52 am

I dont remember exactly when I stopped having lots of friends. Suddenly one day I found myself with few friends. Prior to this discovery I began to avoid all social situations, not pick up the phone when it did ring and just felt myself closing down from people to include family.

jennymarie · Post by **jennymarie** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 2:57 am

I know that in my condition I am probably not the best to talk to. I am probably I little self-absorbed right now. but I am just so lonely right now and this anxiety/depression thing doesn't make it any easier.

Holly J · Post by **Holly J** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 3:31 am

tspoon,
I am so close to doing that also. Closing down. Is it because of the anxiety/depression that you started closing down?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 4:07 am

I have told a few of my old friends and when they'd call and i didn't feel like going they's say oh it's all in your head and get mad at me. I don't have any friends now except the ones on this support group but i plan on making some soon.

Logpace · Post by **Logpace** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 5:36 am

I have had about 4 close friends in my life (35 yrs.) and feel like I have lost pretty much all of them due to my tendancy to avoid people. I am at a very desperate point right now and am not sure how to open up to the few friends that I have about my anxiety and depression. I know they have their own problems to deal with and I don't want to add to their concerns.