i don't know how to deal with this

~HealthyMe~ · Post by **~HealthyMe~** » Fri Apr 04, 2008 4:16 am

I'm in a relationship that is no longer working. I've complained about it before but I don't think I was ready. I'm just MISERABLE. I don't know how to tell him, how to deal with it. I don't know what to do

I want to end it, desperately. Everyday its one more thing to get under my skin

BTTRFLY · Post by **BTTRFLY** » Fri Apr 04, 2008 4:30 am

Hi Rachel,

I can relate sister! please PM some more details so perhaps I can help! I have had the same feelings on and off weekly..just a thought but I have been finding lately in my relationship my perception is so out of wack, my expectations are rediculous that I view us as negativity rather than the good- could you be doing this also?... please PM me!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Apr 04, 2008 4:45 am

If you're not happy, then you have to get out of that relationship. I know it's hard, but you'll really be doing both of you a favor. You have to be able to work on "YOU" before you can work on or be happy in any relationship.

neil in california · Post by **neil in california** » Fri Apr 04, 2008 4:57 am

Hi rachel
Just thought Id chime in here....
The last relationship I was in rediculous. Completely abusive, mentally and emotionally draining, you name it..
One day I was bitching for the millionth time to this woman I knew, (who was also a psychologist, but wasnt treating me) and she gave me the best piece of advice I could have ever heard:
She said, "Marcy, one day, very soon, you will realize you've had enough and you'll find the strength to end it".
Sounds stupid and at the time I blew it off, but, sure enough, the thought just kept creeping back into my head for the months to come. Everytime he and I fought, I would remember her advice, and then one day, I just decided it was time to move on. And you know what? in the end it was the easiest decision Ive ever made.

You are obviously over it, and sick of thinking about it. So Im telling you, you'll be strong enough to end it too. Soon enough. I promise.

Take GOOD CARE of yourself Rachel, I'll be thinking of you

Marcy

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Apr 04, 2008 5:36 am

Hi Rachel.

I would just tell him "this relationship is not working for me. It's causing me more stress than comfort". He will understand. A relationship is supposed to make you feel better not worse. You have to take care of yourself.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Apr 04, 2008 5:55 am

we live together. i think i'm just afraid of the outcome? and afraid of moving on. and being alone. i don't know anymore. i don't even LIKE him anymore.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Apr 04, 2008 5:58 am

I wish I could offer up some good advice, but I can't. So I'm just going to offer up some virtual **Hugs**

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Apr 04, 2008 6:22 am

Hi Rachel.

Do you have relatives or friends that can be with you when you tell him? Also, if you are afraid that he'll get physical with you, go to the police and explain your situation, tell them that you both live together and you need to break up with him and you are afraid for your safety. Get something on record. Tell him that the police knows. And tell EVERYONE close to you. It would be less likely that he would try something. Make sure you have someone with you.

You can go to a women's shelter and ask for advice. They help women is your situation all the time.

Inna · Post by **Inna** » Fri Apr 04, 2008 12:44 pm

Uncharted waters. Trust yourself and your ability to handle the situation. You are intelligent, you can handle it. Right? Right.

I agree with deedee, Rachel. Go with your gut and do what you need to do. Don't worry that it's not perfect, just do it. Is the job still working out? You are your security, no one else. remember what the program says?

Good luck. You can do it. Look at it as a growth opportunity.